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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Re: delete

  • Unfortunately, you should be the bigger person (I know, I know) and send them a genuine thank you. It may be poor etiquette in your eyes to lie and say you were happy to see her, but it's even worse etiquette to send your brother a separate note, especially since she signed the card.

    I know how hard it's going to be to write that card, but it's the right thing to do. Don't give her any more ammo by sending your brother something separate (she would freak the eff out, gauging by past behavior). She's going to be a pain in the butt forever, so the least you can do is stay absolutely, completely neutral and take the high road.
  • I agree 100% with Wrigley.  Don't over think it.  It's a thank you note.  And it only becomes a defining moment in your relationship with her (for however long that may last) if you use it to point out your disgust with her and her bahavior.  And even if you send separate notes, the odds are good she'll read his too and realize how different hers is.  Write one note, be gracious, move on.
  • EK2013EK2013 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    I don't know where etiquette stands on this suggestion, but what about a simple card to both of them (Dear X and Y, thank you for Z, we look forward to A-ing with them in our future home. Best, Anon and AnonFI) and a nice phone call to FBIL saying all the personal things you want to communicate?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fbil-rude-gf-thank-you-notes-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3242f781-806b-4ffe-9dd4-63dd06125725Post:0ffd891c-dcf0-44ee-a227-ef5c79d8bdd2">Re: FBIL Rude GF - thank you notes etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you are way overthinking this. Just suck it up and say "Thank you so much for thinking of us during this exciting time in our lives. The bowls are a perfect bladdybladdyblah".
    Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

    This.  You don't have to write 3 flowery paragraphs for a thank you note. 
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  • heb557heb557 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    Say thank you because your grateful they got you a gift, it doesn't matter which one paid for it. You don't have go on and on with fakeness, get to the point say thank you and end it. Remember, what someone does speaks volumes about their personality, it does not reflect on you. You can only control what you do, and how you handle yourself. 


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  • Am I the only one who would pull a total copout and have FI write this note since it's his brother?
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  • I agree, I would have your FI write it since it is his brother. Strangely enough, the weddings we have gone to this year for FIs friends, the grooms have been the ones that wrote the thank you since they are friends with my FI, not the bride. I thought that was really nice.
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