Can we ask our guests to pay for accomodations at a site we've already paid for?

BethSull · November 2010

I've gotten mixed answers to this question from friends and family, so I wanted to see what people here thought. My fiance and I are getting married at a lodge where there are 16 guest rooms. When we rented the lodge for the weekend, the price included all 16 rooms. Is it bad taste to ask guests to pay $50-$75 a night for a room in the lodge? It would help us a lot to recoup some of the money we paid for the lodge (we're on a strict budge), but others have said this is tacky and that we should just be generous and offer the rooms to people free of charge. Our guests don't have to stay at the lodge, there are several cabins on the property they can rent directly from the owners. I'm torn on the issue and being influenced by what my friends are telling me and feel confused...any thoughts?

Thanks!

starla827 · November 2010

I think charging is a bad idea.

To me, it's on-par with having a bar where you charge people for drinks but pocket the money. Not cool.

marissa_claire · November 2010

This seems fairly debateable. On the one hand, guests are usually expected to pay for their hotel room so I'm not sure how this is much different, but on the other hand, it's part of the venue. I don't know that I can honestly give a good answer here.

Calypso1977 · November 2010

i think its in poor taste.

salt78 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-ask-guests-pay-accomodations-weve-already-paid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0fcc465-be96-41bd-9c11-7605979c4d42Post:3905bfa5-b2a0-40c5-b493-84ac36bc1d5d">Can we ask our guests to pay for accomodations at a site we've already paid for?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've gotten mixed answers to this question from friends and family, so I wanted to see what people here thought. My fiance and I are getting married at a lodge where there are 16 guest rooms. When we rented the lodge for the weekend, the price included all 16 rooms. Is it bad taste to ask guests to pay $50-$75 a night for a room in the lodge? It would help us a lot to recoup some of the money we paid for the lodge (we're on a strict budge), but others have said this is tacky and that we should just be generous and offer the rooms to people free of charge. Our guests don't have to stay at the lodge, there are several cabins on the property they can rent directly from the owners. I'm torn on the issue and being influenced by what my friends are telling me and feel confused...any thoughts? Thanks!
Posted by BethSull[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I wouldn't ask them. The rooms were included so who are you to set prices for such a thing?

</div>

tidetravel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-ask-guests-pay-accomodations-weve-already-paid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0fcc465-be96-41bd-9c11-7605979c4d42Post:3905bfa5-b2a0-40c5-b493-84ac36bc1d5d">Can we ask our guests to pay for accomodations at a site we've already paid for?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've gotten mixed answers to this question from friends and family, so I wanted to see what people here thought. My fiance and I are getting married at a lodge where there are 16 guest rooms. When we rented the lodge for the weekend, the price included all 16 rooms. Is it bad taste to ask guests to pay $50-$75 a night for a room in the lodge? It would help us a lot to recoup some of the money we paid for the lodge (we're on a strict budge), but others have said this is tacky and that we should just be generous and offer the rooms to people free of charge. Our guests don't have to stay at the lodge, there are several cabins on the property they can rent directly from the owners. I'm torn on the issue and being influenced by what my friends are telling me and feel confused...any thoughts? Thanks!
Posted by BethSull[/QUOTE]

How much would the rooms be normally? I would let them know that staying at the lodge is an option, for #X of dollars, but absolutely don't require anyone to stay there. Make sure they are aware of other accomodation options as well (cabins, nearby hotels, etc.) I would also try to work out something with the venue that guests could pay them, and you could have the extra money reimbursed, as opposed to guests giving you the cash.

FutureMrsTR · November 2010

If you offer 16 rooms for free, that doesn't seem fair to your other guests. How would you decide who got the free rooms?

Anyway, as a guest I'd expect to pay for my own accomodations so I'd include a note in the accomodations card (or website or wherever you give out the information) that mentions these rooms. It's not like you're charging extra for the rooms and profiting. Maybe have one of your mothers actually collect the money from guests so it's a little less awkward?

Or just have family and bridal party stay in that lodge and eat the cost.

I'm obviously torn on this as well, haha.

waltzingmatilda13 · November 2010

I wouldn't do it. I think it would be really weird to ask your guests to pay you for a room you already paid for. It's one thing to pay a hotel, but another thing to pay family/friend. Just let it go and give those rooms to close family and friends who want to stay there.

danieliza1127 · November 2010

If your own friends who will be your wedding guests find it tacky, then there's your answer. I'd be more worried about what they will think since they're the ones you'll be doing it to, or the ones who will talk about it if they think you're doing something wrong.

BethSull · November 2010

Thanks everyone, I guess people are as torn about this as I am...but your comments have definitely helped!

:-)

lyndausvi · November 2010

I don't get renting a venue when you can't afford. You decided on this venue, you knew the terms included these 16 rooms, I think it's odd you want to 're-coup' some of the money on a venue you choose.

Personally I would use those rooms for the WP and immediate family and not ask for any money to 'recoup'. Or maybe offer it to your WP and immediate family only but for less than they would pay if they got the lodge on their own. If you charge them the full price it's like they are paying for your venue and that just does not sit well with me (even if they don't know).

BethSull · November 2010

Thank you for your feedback, and as a clarification, this isn't a venue we "can't" afford, we can afford it and are paying for it no matter what. If people rented a room at this lodge on their own, the price for one room would be triple ($225) what we were thinking of charging them. Again, thank you for your feedback.

lyndausvi · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-ask-guests-pay-accomodations-weve-already-paid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0fcc465-be96-41bd-9c11-7605979c4d42Post:e97d30e9-14bc-4e1f-ad73-991e1806e5fe">Re: Can we ask our guests to pay for accomodations at a site we've already paid for?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you for your feedback, and as a clarification, this isn't a venue we "can't" afford, we can afford it and are paying for it no matter what. If people rented a room at this lodge on their own, the price for one room would be triple ($225) what we were thinking of charging them. Again, thank you for your feedback.
Posted by BethSull[/QUOTE]

sorry for the confusion. When see 're-coup' it comes across as you need help paying for something.

Because of how much the rooms go for I really think you should either just invite WP members and/or immediate family to use the rooms for free or a small fee. Other guess would not think twice about WP members or family staying there because it's not unusual for them to be taken care (not that it's necessary to pay for their lodging, it's just not unusual for it to be taken care of ).

Loopyseven · November 2010

As long as it is open to ALL of your guests with the same fee, I wouldn't think too much about it. Picking and choosing among your guests who you offer the rooms to, without some clear cut boundaries will lead to hurt feelings.

Our venue had 7 rooms and we offered our wedding party (6 members) free use of the other 6 rooms. We thought about charging them (not the full cost, but part of it) but decided we'd rather pay and have them there than have the rooms go unused if they opted to go home and not pay for a room at all. In our case we didn't want to open it up to everyone or or even family b/c H and I didn't want his mom to have the option of staying there.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · November 2010

You really can't. It would be totally different if the venue was dealing with the guest accomodations, but having the bride and groom do business with the guests... no.

Edit: unless you do what Tide suggested. It's just awkward to have money changing hands between friends like that.

leah2b · November 2010

How d you decide you gets the "free" or reduced riooms? I agree with posters above who say to offer those rooms (free of charge) to family members and wedding party. Will this utlize all rooms? This would be a nice thank you to family members and wedding party for their support.

PharmacyBride · November 2010

I would say it depends on if the money would be given to directly to you or if the lodge would charge them. If it was the latter.. your guests may never know you were originally responsible for the costs.

If however, your guests would be paying you back.. I say a big fat NO. Offer up the rooms to the people that have helped you most (in life and/or wedding planning)... ie. grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, WP, etc.

It all depends on how the money is handled, IMO. If you are just responsible for filling the rooms and your guests are to call and book them (ie. hotel block with 100% responsibility to you).. then it is okay to have them pay.. as accommodations is a standard responsibility for guests. But, in all honesty, I am assuming the lodge just charged you a flat fee and the rooms come with the deal. This is just the cost of your wedding and is based on factors you had complete control over (ie. your decision to pick the venue).

We all have different variations of wedding expenses that we don't need.. but just come with the package. I absolutely didn't want a sweets table.. and yet I had one to help us meet our minimum requirement. Since almost none of our friends/cousins brought dates.. we had way less than expected people come... so we had to add on food I didn't want to meet our requirements.. and trust me when I tell you I was on a budget!!.. but what can I say- I knew the minimum when I chose the venue.. as you know the lodging requirement.

In the end.. you will look like an amazingly gracious host and have the wedding you wanted! Treat your guests to free lodging and take the financial hit.

MyNameIsNot · November 2010

I agree that it isn't right to have the guests pay you directly. If the venue will allow you to do something where the guests pay them directly, fine.

Otherwise, I'd mark those rooms for WP/immediate family and let everyone else take care of themselves.

chuygrl77 · November 2010

I agree with PP about giving the rooms to family and WP and get them smaller gifts. I'd love if my room was taken care of when being in a wedding...especially something that costs $225 a night.

Can we ask our guests to pay for accomodations at a site we've already paid for?

Re: Can we ask our guests to pay for accomodations at a site we've already paid for?

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