my little man

neece1011 · October 2010

I need opinions on where my son should be during the ceremony! I want him IN the wedding, but I don't want him to have a "role" or part in it... like ring bearer or anything. I kind of just want him to stand next to my fiance... would that be odd? I guess I feel like (and fiance agrees) that he's not just marrying me, he's getting me and my son... ya know? So I want my son to be a part of it. Just not sure about the logistics of it all!

Should he walk out with my fiance? Walk out by himself? (I'm not having a flower girl, so walking out with her isn't an option!) Stand next to him? Next to me? Etc etc...

shaydenise · October 2010

You could have them walk out together. Try googleing things about incorporating children into the ceremony. I have been to weddings where the children took part in the unity ceremony or had a special part to show that it wasn't just a joining of two people but the formation of a family. I thought it was sweet.

ciarra220 · October 2010

I am thinking the same thing.. i may have my son walk me down the isle... i just think it would be very cute and still have him apart of the wedding. good luck!

neece1011 · October 2010

I walked my mom down the aisle when she married my step-dad, bc she had been married before and her dad had already gotten the chance.

However, I haven't been married before and I am really close to my dad and step-dad... so they are both walking me... sort of. I am walking down a staircase (my step-dad will meet me at the bottom) then walk me across the "yard" (getting married at a big plantation house on the water) to my dad who will then walk me down the aisle. Slightly off topic, but that's why my son walking me isn't an option.

I know if he's up there he still has a "part" in a sense, but I just don't want him being like a ring bearer or mini groomsman type of thing, it's too cliche for me... though I'm sure that's what everyone will think if he stands up there with my fiance...

trix1223 · October 2010

I think if he's just standing up there, he'll look like a little kid sneaking into the ceremony. I think it will be far better to give him the "role" of RB. I'm not sure why you're so opposed to that.

lalap69 · October 2010

You can't really have him be a part of your wedding without having him be a part of your wedding (which is what a role is). I don't understand why you don't want him to be a RB, but I like PP's suggestion of him being your "man of honour" (or best man if you prefer.) Either way, he can stand up at the altar with you, which is what you wanted, right? Why does the title matter?

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

It sounds like you're trying to look for a bride/groom equivalent position for him, which... no. Just no. There's a very good reason that the wedding ceremony is designed to be two people and two people only. He is not, in any way, shape, or form, marrying your son. That's just wrong.

neece1011 · October 2010

He's not- in any way shape or form- marrying my son... that's not my point with this. I was just saying that it's important to have him a part of the wedding, and I want him up there with us- whatever his "part" is, bc he is very much a part of my life and while my fiance is MARRYING me, he is also becoming Logan's step-dad. Of course, that's not what the wedding is celebrating, but the point is that he doesn't need to be left out.

I guess when I say "role" I mean your stereotypical roles (RB, MOH, BM, GM) etc. I understand no matter what he's doing he will technically have a part... I guess I should have stated that differently in my PP.

What I wanted were some ideas of what he could do... OTHER than being a ring bearer or junior groomsmen. I have my maid of honor, but I like the man of honor idea. Maybe he could just walk down the aisle and stand by my MOH? or by my fiance? I dunno... I'll figure it out I guess.

lalap69 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_little-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:28ba203c-2f1b-463e-a91d-35531859f5daPost:bbe78e0a-701d-4103-a222-b140ff019e9e">Re: my little man</a>:
[QUOTE]He's not- in any way shape or form- marrying my son... that's not my point with this. I was just saying that it's important to have him a part of the wedding, and I want him up there with us- whatever his "part" is, bc he is very much a part of my life and while my fiance is MARRYING me, he is also becoming Logan's step-dad. Of course, that's not what the wedding is celebrating, but the point is that he doesn't need to be left out. I guess when I say "role" I mean your stereotypical roles (RB, MOH, BM, GM) etc. I understand no matter what he's doing he will technically have a part... I guess I should have stated that differently in my PP. What I wanted were some ideas of what he could do... OTHER than being a ring bearer or junior groomsmen. I have my maid of honor, but I like the man of honor idea. Maybe he could just walk down the aisle and stand by my MOH? or by my fiance? I dunno... I'll figure it out I guess.
Posted by neece1011[/QUOTE]
We're telling you that there aren't other roles. I don't know why you're referring to them as stereotypical, they're just traditional. What you are describing is exactly what a MOH, BM or GM would do. Why does that bother you so much? You want him to do exactly what they would do without calling him by one of those titles. I don't see the point in making up a new title for the same role.

heatherreineke · October 2010

I think he should walk out with you two as one family. I have seen several ceremonies where they do sand and the children pour in a color of sand too, to signify that they are becoming one family.

I agree that it is an important day to include them in. I would have him stand on your side though, no your FI.

[Deleted User] · October 2010

I'm having my Logan actually walk me down the aisle. I'm marrying his daddy and it just seems right to have him "give me away". We aren't having a traditional ceremony so there is no religious issues with him walking me down. I know you dont want him to have a traditional role so that might be a good idea for you. He is the big man giving his mommy away to his new stepdad. It kinda like he is giving his blessing. It's up to you tho. i have also seen where there is a :family" ceremony where the minister makes a blessing on the "new" family. basically the minister asked both the bride and groom to take on the responsibility of a family and then asked the child "do you take ___ to be your mom and new dad for better or worse" in a cute way mimicing the ceremony. and then said i know pronounce you a family. I saw this done at the end after the bride and groom were married. Its your call tho if you dont want to wait after the ceremony. I think it would be ok to do at the beginning too

trix1223 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_little-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:28ba203c-2f1b-463e-a91d-35531859f5daPost:892a5f5f-2130-4d83-a162-22bb07756c7c">Re: my little man</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having my Logan actually walk me down the aisle. I'm marrying his daddy and it just seems right to have him "give me away". We aren't having a traditional ceremony so there is no religious issues with him walking me down. I know you dont want him to have a traditional role so that might be a good idea for you. He is the big man giving his mommy away to his new stepdad. It kinda like he is giving his blessing. It's up to you tho. i have also seen where there is a :family" ceremony where the minister makes a blessing on the "new" family. basically the minister asked both the bride and groom to take on the responsibility of a family and then asked the child "do you take ___ to be your mom and new dad for better or worse" in a cute way mimicing the ceremony. and then said i know pronounce you a family. I saw this done at the end after the bride and groom were married. Its your call tho if you dont want to wait after the ceremony. I think it would be ok to do at the beginning too
Posted by theatrefox13[/QUOTE]

But if the children are the biological children of you and your husband, you already ARE a family. You became a family the moment those children were born. You don't need a "family" ceremony.

The purpose of a wedding ceremony is to create a husband and wife, not a mommy and daddy. And I'm not sure how a little boy can "give" you to his own daddy.

Kate61487 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_little-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:28ba203c-2f1b-463e-a91d-35531859f5daPost:8a715ab4-236b-492c-b367-6c681fb5fe2a">Re: my little man</a>:
[QUOTE]I think he should walk out with you two as one family. I have seen several ceremonies where they do sand and the children pour in a color of sand too, to signify that they are becoming one family. I agree that it is an important day to include them in. I would have him stand on your side though, no your FI.
Posted by heatherreineke[/QUOTE]

This. All of it. Walk out as a family; let him have his own color of sand if you're doing that; and he should stand on YOUR side

my little man

Re: my little man

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