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Ceremony only invite for an intimate wedding with limited venue capacity

vew06252011vew06252011
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
OK, so I would love some opinions on this subject. I am having an intimate wedding where the ceremony and reception to follow (after pictures) is at the same venue that holds 56 people seated and can hold 75 standing. The guest list is currently 39 people and includes parents, grandparents, step sibings and 6 close friends. Now I have a large family of aunts and uncles that are hurt that they will not see us get married and inviting these relatives increases our guest list over the maximum capacity to 65 which is 9 people too many. Is it polite to send them a ceremony only invite and state that it is a small intimate wedding with a limited venue capacity? Some people will have to stand at the back for the ceremony as my grandparents will need to sit. Also, now, if I send out my invites early with an early rsvp date, and my numbers confirmed for both the ceremony and reception and ceremony only invites are under the 56 seated capacity, can I then call my family members ( aunts and incles ) that are willing to attend my ceremony only for the reception to follow as i can now accomidate them? Also, another factor is that my parents are paying for the wedding, they have accepted that I will have a small intimate ceremony and havent said much other than "what ever makes you happy" but I know that if i made this effort that they will really appreciate it.  
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Re: Ceremony only invite for an intimate wedding with limited venue capacity

  • vew06252011vew06252011
    First Comment
    Thank you all very much for your advice, I needed those opinions and I am definetely going with your advice to not do the ceremony only invites. Thanks again.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    honestly,  id be inclined to invite my aunts and uncles who are my blood relatives before i invited my step siblings.  but that's just me.  unless, of course, you arent close to your aunts and uncles at all.  in that case, id proceed with what you have planned and they'll just have to deal with yoru choice of wedding (which there is nothing wrong with, rpovided you avoid ceremony only invites and A/B lists).
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  • ohwhynotohwhynot member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-only-invite-intimate-wedding-limited-venue-capacity?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3c12f012-e610-4e1f-91d8-137f58a80b9dPost:f049d86a-1b7c-4257-b662-28ca09563118">Re: Ceremony only invite for an intimate wedding with limited venue capacity</a>:
    [QUOTE]honestly, <strong> id be inclined to invite my aunts and uncles who are my blood relatives before i invited my step siblings.  but that's just me.</strong>  unless, of course, you arent close to your aunts and uncles at all.  in that case, id proceed with what you have planned and they'll just have to deal with yoru choice of wedding (which there is nothing wrong with, rpovided you avoid ceremony only invites and A/B lists).
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]


    Yikes.  I hope that's just you.  I mean, every case is different of course, but many people grow up with their steps and consider them as close as full-blooded siblings. 
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    i agree they can be close - i know many who are.  but i can see why the aunts and uncles might be offended at not being invited, and i guess id err on inviting those persons that have been there my entire life, rather than folks who came along later in life PROVIDED the level of closeness was there.  i mean, if she doeesnt see or have much to do with the aunts and uncles tehn she made the right call. 
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