Really Overwhelmed!

talybama · July 2012

HELP! I'm am completely lost about what to do and when. I've been using the checklist, but I'm really overwhelmed with all the choices I have to make. I never thought I'd actually get married, so I was never the type of person to envision my "dream wedding". I have over a year to go so I have time, but everytime my family sits down to talk about things i get a little freaked out, because I have NO idea what I'm doing. We are having a destination wedding in Las Vegas and an at home reception about a week later. Any tips would be GREATLY appreciated!!

balletdawn · July 2012

Do you have a venue and a guest list? I feel like things were easier after that. What do you have so far?\

EDIT: oh, and a date of course

Maggie0829 · July 2012

Do one thing at a time. Since you are having two events start with your guest lists for each. Then move on to a date for each. Then a venue for each. See where I am going with this. Do the same thing for each event and then move on to the next thing. Also, if your family is stressing you out limit the wedding conversations (unless they are contributing and then just tell them to ask one question at a time instead of bombarding you with questions, opinions and comments.)

Everything will be fine, take a deep breath and relax.

balletdawn · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:73d2bc7a-d7a9-44f0-8540-781984de4001">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]When looking at the list, <strong>mark off everything that has to do with bridesmaids or groomsmen jobs</strong>. Also, sit with your FI and decide what is absolutely necessary in your wedding, and go from there. One step at a time, and you will be fine.
Posted by Beaniebeach[/QUOTE]
What are these?

jennipea382 · July 2012

I know it can seem really overwhelming at first! But what I've done and what I think helps is to take it slow. One step at a time. Do the big things first. Most importantly, get a tentative guest list and budget together. Things will probably change, but these two things will pretty much determine each other. Then I'd get the venues booked. Depending on your area and the venue, it could get booked early. So if you're set on something and know you won't change your mind, book it now. The rest of the stuff can be done as time goes on. We booked our venue in October, DJ sometime after that (contract's not signed yet but he's a friend and we know we're in his calendar), photographer last month. It doesn't need to be all done at once! Also, the checklist is just a guideline. It doesn't HAVE to be done by the date listed, but it's a good general idea. Also, check out your month board and see where those ladies are at, since they're on the same timeline as you. Good luck!

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:73d2bc7a-d7a9-44f0-8540-781984de4001">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]When looking at the list, <strong>mark off everything that has to do with bridesmaids or groomsmen jobs.</strong> Also, sit with your FI and decide what is absolutely necessary in your wedding, and go from there. One step at a time, and you will be fine.
Posted by Beaniebeach[/QUOTE]

I hope when you say "mark off", you actually mean "delete" because BMs and GMs have no job but to buy the attire and show up at the wedding.

talybama · July 2012

We sort of have a quest list for both places.. we havent sent out official invites to anything yet. I did hire a travel agent who is helping me with the accomodations and travel stuff. So that has been nice. We have a venue for both places, The Golden Nugget for the wedding and my parents backyard for the reception. Unfortunatly i haven't been able to talk with the wedding coordinator at the GN, so I'm kind of in the dark there, I've called her and she hasn't called back yet, my travel agent has been dealing with her. THe problem with the Bridesmaids and the groomsmen is that 90% of them live a looong ways from me and my FI so we can't sit down and hash stuff out with them. And unfortunaly my FI thinks since its so far out that there isn't any reason to worry about anything yet. Then yesterday my mom dropped a small bomb on me and asked what kind of flowers i wanted. (funny i know) I hadn't even thought about it. I know NOTHING about flowers. lol We are doing a lot of stuff DIY so we are having to get things little by little, but I'm not even sure where to start yet. lol OK rant over, LOL.

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:4972f943-86fc-4ed6-8532-30c7273bc2c2">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really Overwhelmed! : I'm pretty sure that's what she meant.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

I thought so. I just didn't want OP to think that she can delegate wedding planning tasks to her WP because a checklist she got off the internet says she can.

kikirst33 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:7ae01155-34e4-45da-a33c-9582a3d8f8d3">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE].... Then yesterday my mom dropped a small bomb on me and asked what kind of flowers i wanted. (funny i know) I hadn't even thought about it. I know NOTHING about flowers. lol ...
Posted by talybama[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>First... start going through some magazines and tear or mark the flowers that you like and don't like. You'll quickly see similarities in what you want.</div><div>
</div><div>The best think I did was hire a florist that recommended that I allow her to pick the flowers that are in season at the time of our wedding. I showed her the type of centerpieces and bouquets that I liked and our colors and she will put it all together. If you don't have special flowers that you want (or don't want) then this may be a good route for you to take. Every florist is different and may not be comfortable going in this direction. My florist does amazing work and by trusting her I was able to check off that box.</div><div>
</div>

SB1512 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:c00a4949-4aed-4a04-9334-dff0bd938f17">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]Do one thing at a time. <strong>Since you are having two events start with your guest lists for each. </strong> Then move on to a date for each. Then a venue for each. See where I am going with this. Do the same thing for each event and then move on to the next thing. Also, if your family is stressing you out limit the wedding conversations (unless they are contributing and then just tell them to ask one question at a time instead of bombarding you with questions, opinions and comments.) Everything will be fine, take a deep breath and relax.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Shouldn't her guest list be the same? Everyone invited to the AHR should be on the list for the DW. Not sure on if you need to invite those that attned the DW to the AHR?

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:264b3f95-4415-4f43-a8c6-ed00f6ab8fa3">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really Overwhelmed! : Shouldn't her guest list be the same? Everyone invited to the AHR should be on the list for the DW. Not sure on if you need to invite those that attned the DW to the AHR?
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

Woopsy, I miss wrote. What I was trying to get across to her is instead of getting all confused between the two parties to try and focus on one part of the planning process for each site. Lock down guest list (which should be the same for both), then lock down venues for each party, then move on to DJ for each, etc, etc.

Sorry OP, the PP are correct that the guest list should be the same for both events.

Edit: That is if OP is not having an intimate, immediate family only wedding in Las Vegas, then she can have two separate invite lists...the Vegas list with just immediate family, and then the AHR list with everyone else.

SB1512 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:5762129f-53ec-45bc-a610-b47bf9dbdc48">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really Overwhelmed! : Woopsy, I miss wrote. What I was trying to get across to her is instead of getting all confused between the two parties to try and focus on one part of the planning process for each site. Lock down guest list (which should be the same for both), then lock down venues for each party, then move on to DJ for each, etc, etc. Sorry OP, the PP are correct that the guest list should be the same for both events. Edit: That is if OP is not having an intimate, immediate family only wedding in Las Vegas, then she can have two separate invite lists...the Vegas list with just immediate family, and then the AHR list with everyone else.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

I figured it might have been a typo just wanted to make sure OP didn't think she could have 2 separate guest list for each party. And I completely agree with your edit. Also on this topic, if you have a DW and then an AHR, do you invite those that attend the DW to the AHR, or is the AHR really only for those guest that could not make the DW due to time, finances, etc?

kaceymarie · July 2012

calm down. you have a lot of time. if you don't know what you want do tons of research and go around window shopping.

talybama · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:5762129f-53ec-45bc-a610-b47bf9dbdc48">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really Overwhelmed! : Woopsy, I miss wrote. What I was trying to get across to her is instead of getting all confused between the two parties to try and focus on one part of the planning process for each site. Lock down guest list (which should be the same for both), then lock down venues for each party, then move on to DJ for each, etc, etc. Sorry OP, the PP are correct that the guest list should be the same for both events. Edit: That is if OP is not having an intimate, immediate family only wedding in Las Vegas, then she can have two separate invite lists...the Vegas list with just immediate family, and then the AHR list with everyone else.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

That's whag ae are doing. Only close friends and fam are going to Vegas then we are having a big reception with every one else.

pillsburyaj · July 2012

I think the check-list on TK is helpful but definitely a little "padded". In other words, there are things on the list that may not pertain to you. Go through and delete what you know you won't use.

What I did is start with the big things first; venue, caterer, flowers, photog, DJ, and cake. Then I started focusing on the the smaller things. Also, don't drown in the details. It has been my experience that wedding planning is as stressful as you make it to be. I have chosen not to worry about little knit-picky details and wedding planning has been a breeze for me. I hope this helps!

Edited for clarity.

Viczaesar · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:c00a4949-4aed-4a04-9334-dff0bd938f17">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]Do one thing at a time. Since you are having two events start with your guest lists for each. Then move on to a date for each. Then a venue for each. See where I am going with this. Do the same thing for each event and then move on to the next thing. Also, if your family is stressing you out limit the wedding conversations (unless they are contributing and then just tell them to ask one question at a time instead of bombarding you with questions, opinions and comments.) Everything will be fine, take a deep breath and relax.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
Actually there should be only one guest list. Everyone invited to the reception needs to also be invited to the ceremony, whether or not they actually go.

talybama · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_really-overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1339805c-cef4-4381-b4ca-7598d4aaa103Post:8363ebc0-993f-4414-b8bc-a09a9cbc8181">Re: Really Overwhelmed!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really Overwhelmed! : Actually there should be only one guest list. Everyone invited to the reception needs to also be invited to the ceremony, whether or not they actually go.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

We've told everyone about the DW but a lot of people cant afford it or would rather come to the reception. We are planning on showing the wedding video at the reception so the people that couldnt make it to the wedding can still see it. We are also having the full blown reception at home, cake cutting, first dances, etc. We aren't going to do anything like that in Vegas so we planned on doing it when we got home. We are just doing a small dinner and possibly a Double Decker Bus tour after the ceremony.

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