Addressing Save-The-Dates & Invites

jrelich24 · September 2010

Hi All -

Question - I am sending out our Save-The-Dates in the next week. Our wedding is not until 8/12/2011 and invites will not be sent out until roughly end of April 2011. (it is essentially a destination wedding)

Is it proper to address Save-The-Dates the same as Invites would be addressed - including "and Guest"? or can we leave off "and Guest" on the Save-The-Dates and only include on the actual invites?

Thanks!

SamSam31 · September 2010

Hm.

Well at least for me, when I sent out save-the-dates, I asked for the full name of the "guest." So for example, if it's a friend with a spouse or boyfriend/ girlfriend, I would ask for their full name.

I think chances are if your invitees have to travel a great distance, they will be traveling alone or with a significant other (or sibling). It also made it easier to plan for tables and such. For me it was because we're having ours on a military installation and I need the guest's name for the access roster.

jrelich24 · September 2010

Well thats one of the points, I do not need to know the name or if the "guest" is coming yet. I am not requesting a response with the Save-The-Dates.
I know there are guests invited that may bot know the name of the guest coming, because the wedding is still 11 months away...

squirrly · September 2010

You should address the STDs as you would the invites, so that pepole know to plan for a guest or not.

SarahNicole80 · September 2010

I only addressed my save the dates with significant others' names if the relationship was already established. I don't think it's a good idea to give plus ones until you have a set number of people you can account for or have a budget. Once it's time to address the invites, if a friend or family now has a significant other then you can address it "and guest". Just my opinion.

Kristin789 · September 2010

1. STDs should not go out more than 6 months prior to the wedding.
2. Never put "and guest" on anything. People have names and you should use them. So if you are inviting a single woman who is not dating anyone right now, and you want her to know she can bring a date, then send her a separate note, or put a note in her invitation envelope, telling her that.

Birdie1483 · September 2010

I was thinking about this on my drive a little bit ago. Do you include kids' names on STD's as well?

dco324 · September 2010

At this point my guest list doesn't have much wiggle room so I will not be adding date names to the STDs. I anticipate many responses from STDs in regards to being able to attend or not so I will use that as a guiding point for invitations.

As for families, we are not having children at our wedding so we will address them to Mr. and Mrs. X.

Linz10882 · September 2010

Your save the dates are going out waaaay early!!

jrelich24 · September 2010

Our STD are going out early because we are getting married in CA (where we live) and mainly ALL of our guests are from out of town. So essentially we are having a destination wedding.
As I read through articles, different postings, and websites, it is suggested to send STD out earlier than 6 months for destination weddings. We want our guests to be able to plan and be able to attend our wedding. So we are sending STD now. Also our wedding is on a Friday. Our guests are going to have to take time off work and save money to travel.

brookelynpaisley · September 2010

You're sending your stuff out way early. 4 months for invitations? No. If you're sending STDs (which should be sent out 6 months in advance, even with a DW), you don't need to give them an extra 2 months for the invitations. Send them 8 weeks before the wedding. People know you're getting married (I presume). If they need info on when, where in the next few months before you send STDs, they'll call and ask you, I assure you.

You should address them to whomever you will be inviting to the wedding, especially if it's a DW, so that they can make arrangements for everyone that will be invited. If you're going to be allowing guests for single people, leave off the "and guest" and you can call or include a note with the invitation that they'll be permitted to bring a guest and to please let you know the name of their guest when they know who they'll be bringing.

Don't anticipate responses to your STDs. All they are is a Save the Date. They're not invitations with a response card.

jrelich24 · September 2010

I am not anticipating responses with my STD. The purpose is for travel planning and to STD. They are magnets for people to put on their fridge as a reminder.

I do not mean to come across as snotty, but I understand everyone has an opinion on how someone else does something. I was simply asking about HOW to address the STD. Not what is the appropriate time to send them and for people to tell me I am wrong in sending them early.

nebbiolo · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-save-dates-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d324641-eeb6-4f58-8096-e8ba7fed8db4Post:e7c0ae6f-0752-46f1-8cfd-4cb1f488c982">Re: Addressing Save-The-Dates & Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not anticipating responses with my STD. The purpose is for travel planning and to STD. They are magnets for people to put on their fridge as a reminder. I do not mean to come across as snotty, but I understand everyone has an opinion on how someone else does something. I was simply asking about HOW to address the STD. Not what is the appropriate time to send them and for people to tell me I am wrong in sending them early.
Posted by jrelich24[/QUOTE]

I've received STDs a year in advance for destination weddings and I appreciated the advance notice. I don't think there is anything wrong with your timing in sending these out - to me, the earlier the better for a DW. Good luck!

jrelich24 · September 2010

Thank you nebbiolo. Your comments are much apprecaited!

SarahNicole80 · September 2010

F what people say about the timing. Those of us that are having weddings where ALL of those attending are coming from out of town, know that it is polite to let people make their travel and accommodations plans with plenty of time. For instance, we are getting married around the Yosemite area. The lodge I am having my wedding at is 300 bucks a night. There is no way that I expect all people to pay for that so we want to give some other options in a town about 20 minutes away. These hotels tend to book up 2-3 months ahead of time. I guess sometimes I get sick of the etiquette stuff because not all people can save up the money in 5-6 months to make it to the wedding. Some people appreciate the heads up. Just my opinion.

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