Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long)

Pharo47 · May 2011

We've been struggling as a couple deciding on the time to start our church ceremony. I always keep our guests in mind and had concerns about the gap between the ceremony and cocktail hour. (though everyone is telling me to just worry about us). We are going the traditional route and really do not want to feel rushed during our pictures. My fiance has a big family so it'll take time to organize everyone. Here is the schedule we were thinking. Venue, church and hotel are all 10 minutes from each other. Shuttle arrives at hotel to start loading guests at 6:15pm to bring to the venue for the 7pm cocktail hour.

3pm- ceremony start
3:45pm - end of ceremony
4:15pm - end of receiving line
5:00pm - end of pictures at church
5:45pm - end of pictures at park next door to church
6:00pm - arrive at venue
6:30pm - finish pictures in venue/ early arrival of guests for 7pm cocktail hr.
7pm - cocktail hr. officially starts ( we didn't want to miss the cocktail hr. and wanted to take a breather and have time for ourselves to relax in the bridal suite before everyone arrived). Sound good or should we go 3:30pm and tighten everything up? We were hoping to have our pictures at the venue done before everyone arrives.

Kristinathebride · May 2011

I think this sounds like a really great timeline

Even if your pics at the venue run over a bit, you still have time to take a breather together and go into your cocktail hour a little later (we didn't want to enter our cocktail hour right when our guests do so we made ours 90 minutes)

Pharo47 · May 2011

I would love to do a 90minute CH but don't have the funds for it

Kristinathebride · May 2011

You still have more than enough time to relax and enter a bit later

Good luck with everything..it sounds perfect!!!

peaches178 · May 2011

Besides the fact that I absolutely despise long gaps (which you addressed in your OP... though I still don't agree with), I think it looks fine.

Pharo47 · May 2011

Thanks

I just want our guests to be happy. I'll be happy no matter what happens so that's why I have such a concern over my guests. My fiance says I overthink things and analyze everything too much but that's how I'm built. So far all the the events that I or we have planned have gone very well and I feel that comes from "overthinking things."

cindyn9178 · May 2011

I think the schedule looks fine.... would you be taking pics at a location in the venue where your guests would see you as they are arriving? That would be my only concern in starting the ceremony later.. I'd be worried that those pics would take even longer because people would be stopping to talk to you as they are arriving if you are taking the pics where they can see you.

TaraK22 · May 2011

Our timeline was similar, but we started CH at 6. We didn't do a receiving line. Just a thing to remember, make sure you talk to the church about their latest start time - ours wouldn't let us start past 3 pm b/c they wanted to have our pics be done and the church be cleaned out prior to 5:30 mass starting. It would be terrible to miss out on some pics or your receiving line b/c you find out last minute that the church needs to be empty!

kristen8040 · May 2011

Just be prepared for guest to show up at CH even earlier. We didn't have a huge gap but people still came really early, like they were still setting up early.

Pharo47 · May 2011

The church is Presbyterian and they said we can start the ceremony whenever we want and that the wedding assistant there said she would not rush us out for anything. We have a good hour after the receiving line to take photos at the church. We are going to take pictures at the venue and the place is set up that the staircase is in the foyer area where everyone will be when they come in. So we definitely would like to have those pictures wrapped up so that it doesn't interfere with the flow of guests. The venue is just too pretty not to get those pictures in. Below is a link to this one couple's pictures at our venue. So cool

http://allanzepeda.blogspot.com/2008/11/ava-frank.html

Pharo47 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_this-wedding-schedule-sense-sorry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:3e41e234-0ef5-4c16-adb0-51ef2178bd47Post:a9c80dc0-1dec-42c3-b75c-bea263ed24a4">Re: Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Just be prepared for guest to show up at CH even earlier. We didn't have a huge gap but people still came really early, like they were still setting up early.
Posted by kristen8040[/QUOTE]

More than a half hour early to the cocktail hour? Wow! I'm talking with the banquet manager to make sure than our early guests are taken care of. But I have concerns that they may ask us to pay for things if guests arrive too early and we keep providing refreshments.

kristen8040 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_this-wedding-schedule-sense-sorry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:3e41e234-0ef5-4c16-adb0-51ef2178bd47Post:2c83cf33-cee4-464e-a061-d4ccfafaa5f6">Re: Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long) : More than a half hour early to the cocktail hour? Wow! I'm talking with the banquet manager to make sure than our early guests are taken care of. But I have concerns that they may ask us to pay for things if guests arrive too early and we keep providing refreshments.
Posted by Pharo47[/QUOTE]

<div>Check with your venue with what they do in this type of situation. Ours began serving drinks 15 minutes early since this typically happens. If you are doing OOT bags I would just put a note in there that there is a gap and give some suggestions of places they could get coffee, a drink, etc.</div>

Pharo47 · May 2011

People showing up a half hour early is just going to be the nature of the beast because I am providing shuttle for our guests at the hotel to the venue. To make sure people are on time we have instructured the shuttle to arrive at 6:15pm. It'll take 10 minutes or so to load up the full shuttle and then 10 minutes to drive to the venue so I expect people to start arrivie at 6:35pm for our 7pm cocktail hour. The rest of the guests will show up as the shuttle keeps picking people up (of course not including those that I driving to the venue).

brendapc · May 2011

If I remember correctly, when I have shown up early to Il Villagio, I remember paying for my 1st set of drinks..... I would call and check though since I wasnt their for a wedding that time.

goaliegirl · May 2011

Your schedule looks fine if you want a gap that large.

Just keep one thing in mind...you may have a lot of people skip your ceremony because of the long gap. It is just the nature of having a big gap, people that don't live super close are going to have nothing to do for nearly 3 hours, so they may just skip the ceremony and just go to the reception.

Also, do I remember correctly that you are having a Friday wedding on Labor Day weekend or am I wrong? If so, a 3pm start on a Friday is really early, I would think the later you can start the better. Just a thought.

uppereastgirl · May 2011

If that's a Friday, I would not expect all that many of your guests to go to the ceremony. And honestly, I think it is rude to make that much of a gap since you have a choice. As a guest, I'd be pissed if I found out that you opted to do that just so you could have hours to take photos and then hang out in the bridal suite, particularly since I had to take a half day from work to be at your ceremony (or if it is a weekend, that you tied up most of my day, even though hours of it is your picture time).

I'd push the ceremony back to 4. You still have ample time to get everything done. And if you run out of time, then you don't have chill out time before your cocktail hour. No big deal. Honestly, your schedule doesn't sound like you're keeping your guests in mind at all. (Well, or you're thinking about them, but then ignoring their interests anyway.)

Also, I'd get a shuttle or shuttles that fit everyone in one trip. People are going to be annoyed if they have to wait for a second or third trip. Particularly when it is late and they're tired and want to go to bed.

Did you talk to your photographer about how much time s/he needs? More than 2 hours seems awfully long for photos. I hope you aren't planning on tying up all of your large family for all that time?

bereasonable2 · May 2011

I don't think you're leaving in enough "travel" time between each part of your itinerary.

For example:
5:00pm - end of pictures at church
5:45pm - end of pictures at park next door to church

Although the park is "next door" to the church, it will take "some" time to get there and get organized for the photos. You don't just get to the park and jump right into shooting, or do you?

Ideally, you start to leave the church at 5pm, don't ACTUALLY leave until 5.10pm, get to the park "next door" at 5.15pm, assuming everyone followed your lead and are right behind you. Get organized and get everyone together, start shooting at 5.20pm. That leaves you maybe 25 minutes, not 45 minutes like you're probably thinking.

shoebie · May 2011

7 pm is really late for a 3pm ceremony i have seen to many times where when its to far apart people will not show up for the ceremony which i personally feel is very disrespectful. What will your guests be doing for the 3 hours between? COcktail hour was designed to fill that gap while your taking pictures so your guest's do not wait around forever... maybe consider moving the ceremony back to 4 or the cocktail hour up and missing it either way to big of a gap in my opinion especially

Pharo47 · May 2011

woah....tough crowd. I'm bouncing these questions off of everyone because I have concerns for my guests so please take a step back with the schedule being intentionally rude to the guests. I'm looking for the happy medium between making things reasonable for my guests and at the same time capture the most important day of my life. Wedding is the Friday of Labor Day weekend. The majority of the guests will probably have this day scheduled as an off day. I would love to provide more shuttle service to get everyone to the cocktail hour in one shot but the one shuttle bus is already costing me $700 so I cannot afford more services since I am paying for the majority of the wedding as it is. Because we are paying for the majority of the wedding, we would like to attend the cocktail hour. It provides us more time to say hello to everyone so that we can enjoy the reception. The hotel is providing 3 vans on top of the shuttle bus that I paid for so it may only be two trips tops. Venue is 10 minutes max from the hotel. Guests would probably be back at the hotel at 4:30pm and the first shuttle would start loading guests at 6:15pm so it would be a little less than 2hrs. Personally, I usually take the day off when I'm a guest at someone's wedding. I don't mind waiting a little longer between ceremony and cocktail hour since its the least I can do for them on their special day and they are paying for my entertainment for the evening. You're right some people will not show up to the ceremony regardless if the ceremony started at 3pm or 4pm. That hour difference isn't going to be the breaking point for that many guests. Either they make the committment or they don't. I will make sure that the guests have snacks and refreshments at the hotel after the ceremony. Our photographer said he would like 90 mintues to capture all of the photos. I could start it at 3:30pm to ease the gap but personally a 4pm start would make things too rushed. There will be a lot of traffic that day and I would like to have a hedge for any delays which could happen.

Pharo47 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_this-wedding-schedule-sense-sorry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:3e41e234-0ef5-4c16-adb0-51ef2178bd47Post:4e3034a0-64fd-4c96-93a5-3a61c1220230">Re: Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long)</a>:
[QUOTE]If I remember correctly, when I have shown up early to Il Villagio, I remember paying for my 1st set of drinks..... I would call and check though since I wasnt their for a wedding that time.
Posted by brendapc[/QUOTE]

I'm waiting for some feedback from the banquet manager regarding what he would do for no cost and one would constitute more money. I do not want my guests paying for anything at the wedding.

uppereastgirl · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_this-wedding-schedule-sense-sorry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:3e41e234-0ef5-4c16-adb0-51ef2178bd47Post:82362de5-619e-41a5-978f-0403e9edf533">Re: Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long)</a>:
[QUOTE]woah....tough crowd. I'm bouncing these questions off of everyone because I have concerns for my guests so please take a step back with the schedule being intentionally rude to the guests. I'm looking for the happy medium between making things reasonable for my guests and at the same time capture the most important day of my life. Wedding is the Friday of Labor Day weekend. The majority of the guests will probably have this day scheduled as an off day. I would love to provide more shuttle service to get everyone to the cocktail hour in one shot but the one shuttle bus is already costing me $700 so I cannot afford more services since I am paying for the majority of the wedding as it is. Because we are paying for the majority of the wedding, we would like to attend the cocktail hour. It provides us more time to say hello to everyone so that we can enjoy the reception. The hotel is providing 3 vans on top of the shuttle bus that I paid for so it may only be two trips tops. Venue is 10 minutes max from the hotel. Guests would probably be back at the hotel at 4:30pm and the first shuttle would start loading guests at 6:15pm so it would be a little less than 2hrs. Personally, I usually take the day off when I'm a guest at someone's wedding. I don't mind waiting a little longer between ceremony and cocktail hour since its the least I can do for them on their special day and they are paying for my entertainment for the evening. You're right some people will not show up to the ceremony regardless if the ceremony started at 3pm or 4pm. That hour difference isn't going to be the breaking point for that many guests. Either they make the committment or they don't. I will make sure that the guests have snacks and refreshments at the hotel after the ceremony. Our photographer said he would like 90 mintues to capture all of the photos. I could start it at 3:30pm to ease the gap but personally a 4pm start would make things too rushed. There will be a lot of traffic that day and I would like to have a hedge for any delays which could happen.
Posted by Pharo47[/QUOTE]

I like you, so I really don't mean to be harsh, but I don't understand this really. Saying you're worrying about the guests means nothing if you pick then pick the option that is least convenient for them and most convenient for you. 4:00 would be a compromise... even that isn't great for your guests because they still have to wait around for a while before the ceremony starts. And you still have plenty of time for photos. And honestly, If you miss some of your cocktail hour, the world won't end.

Not everyone can take a day off from work every time they have a wedding to attend. Some people get very limited vacation time that they don't want to use up on the 5 weddings they have to go to that year, or have jobs that aren't easy to leave early/take time off from. When I've had to take even half days to go to Friday weddings, it has made for some of the most hellish workdays ever. So I wouldn't assume that everyone is taking the day off just because you would, and I'd try to be as accomodating as possible to those who will be rushing out of work early to make it to your wedding. Not having an unnecessarily long gap would be a nice start.

One other option you have to make pictures take less time after the ceremony -- could you take some before? We got married at a church and didn't see each other beforehand, but we each had photos taken beforehand with our respective wedding parties and family. That way, after the ceremony we only had to take care of photos of just us, of the two families together, and of us with the bridesmaids AND groomsmen together. That way, we were able to make it to most of our cocktail hour even though the only no gap between the ceremony and the reception was driving time.

Pharo47 · May 2011

Hey uppereast girl. You make a good point regarding taking a collection of photos prior to the ceremony. Could kill some dead time for the guests. I'll talk it over with the photographer. I appreciate the input. Good suggestion

Hopefully its not super hot that day. There's only one area of the church that has air conditioning (Pastor's office and secretary area). The church is 155 years old and they said it gets pretty warm. We'll have to think of some way to manuever the guys and girls without us seeing each other and keep each other from melting before the ceremony.

kristen8040 · May 2011

We had our ceremony at 3:00 and cocktail hour began at 6:00. We also had a 30 minute drive to the reception and found plenty of time for pictures, especially with two shooters since both DH and I got most of our immediate family and BP pictures done before the ceremony, When we took pictures at the venue, the photographers were able to do pictures with of the guys and girls simultaneously. In the end, you will never make everyone happy. We had about 75 people at the church and 140 at the wedding. As long as our immediate family was there, that was all that matters. To be honest, if you take your schedule too seriously your not going to enjoy yourself. Have a general idea of a timeline and let the professionals take care of everything else.

ginabean82 · May 2011

Would you ever consider doing pictures before the ceremony? That might be better that way you can push the ceremony back a bit and maybe more people will come. Not only that but if u do pics before your hair and makeup will look fresh. That is what we are doing because having that big of a gap between the ceremony and reception is really hard on the guests. Whenever I have a wedding to go to like that I always skip out on the ceremony because it's just hard for me to take off work. Just a thought.

Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long)

Re: Does this wedding schedule make sense? (sorry its long)

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