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Shower & Fiance...

So, I always thought both the Bride & Groom-to-be attend their own wedding shower; is this not true? What are you ladies doing? My Mom was thinking it would just be me...but I was thinking the FI's always went to the wedding shower. After all...the gifts we get are for both of us, right?

What are your thoughts?
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Finally...we are Mr. & Mrs.!!! WooHoo!!!

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Re: Shower & Fiance...

  • Sand322Sand322 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I've only been to a couple showers where the fiance came, but typically the guy has not come. But it works either way, whatever you prefer! If you want him to come, maybe he can have a friend or someone with him..or maybe he can come towards the end instead of the entire time. At one of my friend's showers, the fiance played golf during the shower and then came at the end for a few minutes.

  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    DH went golfing with his dad during our shower and arrived towards the end with the truck to carry and transport the heavy stuff.  He had no interest in spending an afternoon with a bunch of women oooo-ing and ahh-ing over gifts.  I've been to showers where the guys just looked so bored but if your FI is into it, there is nothing wrong with him attending.
  • edited December 2011
    I was just talking to my mom about this on Saturday! She was talking about how my dad didn't attend her shower because it was women only...  but my cousin recently had a shower and men were invited. It was a tea at the Peninsula, so it was weird and yeah, they were bored.

    I guess the shower that is being thrown for me is on a Sunday afternoon at a restaurant and will entail good food and gifts. No games (phew.). Dan will attend the shower with me. It is only lunch and opening gifts, anyways, so he won't be bored with anything. As you said, the gifts are for both of us!

    I've heard and seen it done many ways. Besides my cousin's shower, I've attended a "couples shower" which entails the bride and groom to be and ALL other couples. Honestly, that was boring. I've attended all women's showers at golf clubs or whatever and IMO games are terrible. Sorry to those that like them!

    Basically, I'm saying that it is totally natural that your FI attends the shower and is able to thank the women that are closest to you both!
    7/10/10 image Dandy
  • jbll326jbll326 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Every shower I've been to, the FI comes after lunch/food for the gift portion. After all, the gifts are for him too! And you can still have a girly afternoon until he gets there.

    I think that's what we're planning, but FI hates to be in the spotlight, so we'll see if he actually comes :)
  • edited December 2011
    I am extremely traditional with my wedding and my FI has no interest and I am excited for it to be a woman thing...  I would love my FI to stop in at the end, but totally up to him.

    Whatever you want though.  Some people have couple showers and they invite couples and do more of a bbq.

    Danielle
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all of the replies! Mandy, we too are doing it on a Sunday afternoon, serving lunch as well. I really don't want to do any games either, but...I'm not in charge of the shower. Hoping my Mom and Sister don't have anything like that planned.

    I cannot believe how FAST time is going by! Our shower is April 25th and it's going to be here before you know it!! WOoHoo!!!
    image image
    Finally...we are Mr. & Mrs.!!! WooHoo!!!

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  • edited December 2011
    I don't really like being the center of attention all by myself, so  FI will be attending the shower in its entirety.  I think that we will be  having a luncheon similar to yours, and since his female family and friends will be there, it will be good for him to be there as well.  Additionally, like PPs said, we will be getting presents for US, not just me, so I want him to be a part of receiving and opening the gifts. 

    Showers seem to be changing, from having co-ed showers to having guy-only showers.  I think that you can do whatever it is that you and FI feel comfortable with. 
  • edited December 2011
    I would think it was kind of odd to see a guy sit through a bridal shower. It's a BRIDAL shower, not couples shower, or engagement party. You are celebrating the bride, which is you, not him. It sounds very painful, awkward, and boring for him to be there the whole time. I think it's nice if the groom to be shows  up at the end, but that's not even required IMO. 

  • edited December 2011

    My fiance will be there for the shower...it is a shower for both of us, not just me.  And heck, he's the cook out of the two of us (and did most of the registry items), so I've been joking that the shower is really for him ;).

  • edited December 2011
    My FI is not coming to either shower, but he will come near the end to see everyone and thank them. Most showers I have been to that the guys are at, they are complaining the whole time or really don't want to be there. It is kinda a little awkward with all women and him, hehe. But I think either way is really fine, I have seen nboth done.
    Steph & Brandon 4.17.10
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  • raeynraeyn member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My shower was last weekend and only women were invited. We were visiting my family in Toronto and FI doesn't know anyone in the city, so I dropped him off at a bookstore to get some work done and picked him up after it was over. I would have liked for him to show up to the shower at the end so people could meet him, but since I was the one who needed to go get him I couldn't just leave.

    I had a lovely time, but I know FI would have been far more bored and uncomfortable attending the whole shower than he was sitting at a bookstore all day. We didn't even play games or anything, but just chatting with a room full of female relatives would not have been his cup of tea.
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  • jen90210jen90210 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for posting this Kathleen! I haven't given it much thought until now because I just assumed my fiance would attend.  I just asked him how he feels about it and he says he's fine with going as long as he doesn't have to play any games! LOL!  In our situation, I think it will be good for him to be there because a lot of his aunts only speak polish.  Aside from his mom (who I'm sure will be mingling on her own) translating for me, it will be good for him to help me out with the language barrier.

    Based on these replies, it seems that anything goes!

    Jen
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