I'm planning on having 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen but one of my bridesmaids is commissioning as a 2LT in the Hawaii national Guard in December( wedding will be in Michigan in June) so proud of her, love her to death and really hope she can be a bridesmaid but I don't want to force her too soon to make her decision if she can do it or not. I talked to her about it and told her I don't want her to feel obligated, I mean it's a big commitment to take off work fly here and then have to get back and so I want to be understanding and patient but then I want to start bridesmaid dress shopping and I have a friend that is a spare in case I need her (she of course doesn't know she's my b list bridesmaid) but I'm kinda wanting things to settle... How do I talk to my friend and say I need an answer before whenever or should I just continue to be patient and give her time to figure it out....