Wedding Etiquette Forum

B-Party dress code?

I got invited to a friend's B party. It was specified on the invitation that all the guests at the party must wear their best black dress with black heels. The party will include drinking at the hotel, going out to clubs to drink, and a male, um, entertainer. 

At first I didn't think much of it, but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm mildly irritated. I don't have a fancy black dress (or any black dress). So I'll have to go out and buy one. Not a big deal in and of itself. But I'm also driving almost 4 hours to get to this party, plus paying for a hotel room, food, gas, a gift, and drinks, plus the guests have been informed that we are expected to chip in for the ::ahem:: entertainer's fee and tip.

Is it silly to be annoyed with this dress code? I like this girl and I'm planning on going, but this really turned me off to it.  It seems petty to consider not going to save a little money. What do you think?

ETA: sorry about the double post. I'm impatient.

Re: B-Party dress code?

  • I think its silly.  If it was something you had, I'd just wear it, but don't buy something if you don't want.  Do you maybe have a different nice dress?  If so, I'd just go with that.
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  • You don't own a black dress?  How do you get through life without a LBD? 
  • ggmaeggmae member
    First Comment
    I would understand having a dress code if the place you were going to had a dress code. But I doubt the dress code would be that every woman had to wear black heels and a black dress. That just sounds like a dress code that the hosts made up and I'd be a bit disappointed if I had to go out and buy a whole new outfit for it.
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  • Well, you can get a decent black dress for pretty cheap at a TJ Maxx or an online store (if you have time) like Overstock.com.... and if you know other girls who are attending the party, maybe save yourself some money by sharing a hotel room? I went to a B party across the state and was supposedly the only one who needed a hotel room... three other girls ended up crashing with me and I got to split the hotel cost with them. It was a sweet discount that I wasn't expecting!

    I guess I'm just saying, try to make the most of it. I totally get that you're irritated, though. I wonder why they'd want all the girls in LBD's? Maybe there's something going on that you don't know about?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_b-party-dress-code-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4dcaba92-d30c-4bcb-b1c4-1ef2a619e73dPost:22069d56-a64d-43b9-8a38-b413c59fb7cc">Re: B-Party dress code?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are they trying to make everyone look like the girls in the "Addicted to Love"video? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEqsZExmDzI" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEqsZExmDzI</a>
    Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hahaha, I just watched the whole thing. Thank you.</div>
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  • I would not buy a dress for a bach party.  I own one (solid) black dress and it's not one I'd really want to wear for something like that, so I would be pretty annoyed.  I also don't think you need to bring a gift, particularly with having to get a hotel room and everything else.
    Married 10/2/10
  • My b-party was little black dress for the dress code and I wore a colorful dress "so I stood out as the bride". One of my friends didn't have a black dress and borrowed one from another friend. Is that an option?
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  • I really think the girls that came up with this option honestly thought "Who doesn't have an LBD"

    Don't get too annoyed by this... I would be more annoyed that I had to pay for the "male entertainment" I would be so uncomfortable with that situation. I didn't go to a good friend's b-party b/c it was a passion party where we could purchase toys... I thought that was way tacky.
  • I can't believe I've made it through my WHOLE LIFE without owning a little black dress and god hasn't struck me DEAD. My LANDS.
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  • Ditto Target and TJ Maxx, they definitely have great stuff.  I just bought a really cute black dress at Ross for $11.  It's super comfy so there's no doubt I'll wear it again.  They had about a million dresses for under $20.  
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  • Thanks everyone!
  • LD1970LD1970 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I have several black dresses & hardly ever wear them.  I prefer color, and I'd be annoyed at being told what to wear under any circumstances.  I'm usually the one in red.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • I am still trying to figure why anybody would ask their friends to wear something specific for a party so they "stood out."  Don't you kinda feel special enough that your friends came out to celebrate you?  Are you really that much of an AW?
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  • I own a lot of black now (and 3 LBDs) but in high school, I had next to nothing that was black. I went to a funeral once and just wore something dark - a dark purple satin skirt and purple velour mock turtleneck. Seriously. I had no black. Then again, I usually only own one pair of jeans at a time.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_b-party-dress-code-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4dcaba92-d30c-4bcb-b1c4-1ef2a619e73dPost:ed53ab8b-c427-4f96-8ac5-28913fbccf1f">Re: B-Party dress code?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't own a black dress?  How do you get through life without a LBD? 
    Posted by fangsiting[/QUOTE]
      
     


    How DO you?  Even a jcrew cotton summer sheath dress?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_b-party-dress-code-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4dcaba92-d30c-4bcb-b1c4-1ef2a619e73dPost:a3df8cee-d189-418d-b6f0-fc5210758410">Re: B-Party dress code?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think you should be annoyed, because the hosts probably assumed they weren't asking anyone to wear something they didn't already have.  If they said everyone must wear zebra print or camo, I would be annoyed.  If I were you I would buy a LBD.  You can find them cheap, and I promise you you'll wear it a ton and be glad you bought it. ETA: Target has 35 little black dresses on their website.  They start at $13.98. <a href="http://www.target.com/Little-Black-Dresses-Womens-Clothing/b/1293449011/ref=sc_fe_l_2_256138011_7?node=1293449011" rel="nofollow">http://www.target.com/Little-Black-Dresses-Womens-Clothing/b/1293449011/ref=sc_fe_l_2_256138011_7?node=1293449011</a>
    Posted by KentuckyKate[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. I'm actually not one for dress codes or themes, but my only dress aside from bridesmaid dresses is a little black dress. I bought it years ago, and I've gotten plenty of use from it!
  • i would definitly think my friend was a total aw if she wanted to stand out so much she would give us a dress code.

    i vote for trying on a few at ross etc. or ask a friend to borrow one.

    ditto being irritated about pitching in for the male entertainment thats something that the hostesses should pay for because not everyone would appriciate it.

    i personally dont own a LBD either, i would probably just wear some great black slacks i own, and a sexy black top with lots of bling.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_b-party-dress-code-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4dcaba92-d30c-4bcb-b1c4-1ef2a619e73dPost:3373b492-45d5-4bfe-9037-42f19d935b1a">Re: B-Party dress code?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: B-Party dress code? :      How DO you?  Even a jcrew cotton summer sheath dress?
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

    Well I pretty much hate wearing dresses and hardly ever wear them unless it's necessary.  It is never necessary to wear a cotton summer sheath dress, so no, I don't own one of those in any color.
    Married 10/2/10
  • FemlinFemlin member
    First Comment
    This is actually a pretty common "theme" in my area, so I wouldn't be annoyed by it.  In fact, I would almost be expecting it.

    I say suck it up and buy a LBD that you will use again for cheap.  If she had said that you needed to buy a designer dress that would cost you tons of money, I might be annoyed.  I'm also in the how-do-you-not-already-own-a-LBD camp.

    I agree with PP who said its not like she asked you to wear zebra or camo print.  The hostesses assumed most girls would already own a black dress, I guarantee.
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  • I think a dress code is silly and I would totally be annoyed.  I guess I am not much of a conformer so having somebody tell me what to where would get me ticked.  I have seen pictures of bridal showers with that 'theme' and I just don't get the point.  It reminds me of middle school (which is what I teach, so I am constantly surrounded by people trying to look like each other!). 

    So, I totally think you are justified in being annoyed :)

  • im thinkin you should just suck it up.  look into splitting a room with a few of the other girls, and get yourself a black dress that you feel good in that wont wipe you out moneywise.   i doubt that the bride was the one who thought of this dress code to stand out,,,,im guessing the host thought this would be a nice way to honor her as the bride.  im also jumpin on the bandwagon and saying i dont think the host thought she would be putting anyone out by saying wear your best black dress...it sounds to me like she assumed everyone had one.  but you know what they say...   assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME!   go get yourself a dress and enjoy the b-party and support your friend! :)
  • The hostess of my bachelorette party also put this on the invites.  I was not happy about it.  No one even asked me, and I didn't own a white dress except a frumpy old one that I used to wear to sorority rituals in college, and I was in the middle of fall tax season and didn't have time to find a white dress, especially after Labor Day.  So I wore orange instead. 

    I guess I would say borrow one from somebody if you don't want to spend the money.
  • Thanks for all the replies. I agree that it wasn't the bride who thought of this, it was the hostess. Oh well. I can suck it up and buy a dress. :)
  • edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_b-party-dress-code-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4dcaba92-d30c-4bcb-b1c4-1ef2a619e73dPost:083677d4-8333-41e0-b9fa-f0ddfe3da5c7">Re: B-Party dress code?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, the hosts made this up. They want all the guests in black and the bride to be in white.
    Posted by Krysti21[/QUOTE]

    I think it could be fun to play along with a theme, though.

    My B-party is costume/halloween theme this October. The only people at my b-party will be the BMs (who are planning it) & 2 friends. I should also note my wedding is on 10/30 & my birthday is 10/31. So Halloween is a big deal to us.

    I also went to a B&W b-party. The only dress code was black (so no LBD or heel requirements), & I already owned my black skirt & t-shirt.
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