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September 2010 Weddings

Family Picutre Question/Drama

So I bought a package to have a photographer take family photos for DH parents for Christmas. Ideally I thought the picture would be me, DH, BIL, BIL wife, nephew, SIL, SIL husband, and their daughter...
Well SIL is a foster parent and said she wanted to have her 2 foster babies in the picture. She has had one of the babies for 7 months and may adopt her, but the other baby she has only had for not even a week and wants him to be in the picture.
Is it rude for me to just want the actual family in the picture and not the foster babies?

Re: Family Picutre Question/Drama

  • Can you take some shots with and some shots without?  Or can you take the full family w/o the babies and can she have her own family shot with the babies?  I can understand your concerns.
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  • i would take pictures with the baby and then without.  how awful would it be if you took them without and then someday down the road they decided to adopt this baby?  and this child wasnt in the family pictures?  

    even if there is a zero chance of adoption, i think a family picture with this child is nice, even if that child can keep the picture as a keepsake for when they do get adopted they will have this picture that proves an entire family loved them and welcomed them when they were a baby when nobody else would.
  • I can see where you're coming from but I would just do some pics with and without the foster kids. I'm piggy-backing with what Shauni said and agree that whether or not that child is still with your SIL by christmas, that picture will probably be a special gift for that child. He/she can say look back and say "hey, someone did love me and wanted me in their family."

    If you don't want them in the pic then you could always do a sibling pic with just the adults too...GL!
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  • In Response to Re: Family Picutre Question/Drama:
    [QUOTE]i would take pictures with the baby and then without.  how awful would it be if you took them without and then someday down the road they decided to adopt this baby?  and this child wasnt in the family pictures?   even if there is a zero chance of adoption, i think a family picture with this child is nice, even if that child can keep the picture as a keepsake for when they do get adopted they will have this picture that proves an entire family loved them and welcomed them when they were a baby when nobody else would.
    Posted by shauni27[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.  I would do some pictures with and some without.  That way you're both happy.  I assume for a foster parent no matter how long a baby is with you they are always part of the family, so it probably hurts SIL's feelings to not have her family included.
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  • I agree with PP's definitely take pics with the babies and without.  You may not want the babies in your pics but SIL probably does even if she doesn't end up adopting either of them.  My family had foster children growing up and one child was with us for several years.  We got family portraits taken while he was with us and he was included in all the pictures.  My mom loves the pictures and has a huge framed copy above her fireplace. 
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  • Like others- take bpth types of pics.

    I mean, you're including husbands/wives and we all know those aren't permanent either...

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