Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...

musicjailbird7 · April 2011

I have 6 bridesmaids (3 sisters and 3 friends) who all have different body types and personal styles. I'm planning on having them pick their own dresses for the wedding, all in the same French Blue. I told them the wedding theme and showed them pictures of my wedding dress so they know what to go off, but I am a little worried they're going to pick something bad and then stick with it. I told them to show me their dress picks before purchasing so we could go over the final decision together, which they're fine with, but am I doing the wrong thing? Should I just pick something and have them stick to it? Any suggestions?

Summer2011Bride · April 2011

I don't get how your poll goes along with what you are asking at all. This isn't really an issue about number of BM's, but rather their dress choices, correct?

What I would do is give them a few styles to choose from instead of saying "Go pick any dress you want." If you go with a line like Jasmine or Alfred Angelo or even DB, you can pick the color you want and have 5-6 styles available, styles you already like, that they can choose from. My MOH did this for her wedding that I'm in and I loved having some choices, but not being overwhelmed by having her say "pick any blue dress you want."

needle&thread · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bridesmaids-pick-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ddab451-2f40-4914-9306-bdbb84884618Post:f567b8b4-8bc6-40a4-96a0-398ab3cb59ff">Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong><font color="#ff0000">I don't get how your poll goes along with what you are asking at all. This isn't really an issue about number of BM's, but rather their dress choices, correct?</font></strong> What I would do is give them a few styles to choose from instead of saying "Go pick any dress you want." If you go with a line like Jasmine or Alfred Angelo or even DB, you can pick the color you want and have 5-6 styles available, styles you already like, that they can choose from. My MOH did this for her wedding that I'm in and I loved having some choices, but not being overwhelmed by having her say "pick any blue dress you want."
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

This...

S and CJ

[Deleted User] · April 2011

I am with Summer.

We used DB for my BM's dresses. I also had 6 BM's. 3 of them were in one color and 3 of them were in another color. I told them what color they would be wearing and then they picked the style. There were either 3 or 4 different styles/cuts of knee length dresses in the color I asked them to wear that way they could choose the style that looked best on them.

CassieeK · April 2011

I am letting my bridesmaids pick their own dresses. We all have similar tastes, so I have no worries about what they will choose.

katiedidthat · April 2011

I didn't get the poll, so I didn't vote. I have 3 attendants, all will pick their own attire without any input from me other than "buy something red."

[Deleted User] · April 2011

I don't get what the poll has to do with your question.

My girls chose their own dresses. We went to the bridal shop together and decided on a designer, then they each picked out a dress they liked.

I have four BMs they each have a different dress in the same color, in the same length and fabric.

graysquirrel · April 2011

I also am not sure what the poll means. Are you planning on getting rid of some of your girls?

I don't see anything wrong with taking a look at the dress before they order, but I'd definitely give them some guidelines before you set them loose. If you give them some stipulations like length, color, etc., I wouldn't worry too much.

musicjailbird7 · April 2011

Thanks! That's helpful! (not about the poll, which is obviously stupid, it's just a poll asking how many BM's, not too challenging ladies...) anyway, I do appreciate the info on picking their own dresses. I don't really want to go with having them choose between five styles I've chosen, I'm just allowing them to make their own choices. I think after seeing this it's not really going to be a problem.

direy25 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bridesmaids-pick-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ddab451-2f40-4914-9306-bdbb84884618Post:7cfa171a-ce82-4619-9829-adda1b53f860">Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't get what the poll has to do with your question. My girls chose their own dresses. We went to the bridal shop together and decided on a designer, then they each picked out a dress they liked. I have four BMs they each have a different dress in the same color, in the same length and fabric.
Posted by NCV2[/QUOTE]
This is what I did also - all 4 of my girls have dresses that they really like and feel comfortable in.

And OP, regarding your comment about the poll "not being too challenging," usually people put a poll in that relates to the question being asked, which is why people said it didn't make any sense.

Summer2011Bride · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bridesmaids-pick-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ddab451-2f40-4914-9306-bdbb84884618Post:23a122b0-4a5d-40f6-8111-c9c564646944">Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks! That's helpful! (not about the poll, which is obviously stupid,<strong> it's just a poll asking how many BM's, not too challenging ladies..</strong>.) anyway, I do appreciate the info on picking their own dresses. I don't really want to go with having them choose between five styles I've chosen, I'm just allowing them to make their own choices. I think after seeing this it's not really going to be a problem.
Posted by musicjailbird7[/QUOTE]

Of course it's not challenging, but confusing b/c it has NOTHING to do with what you're actually asking. When people post polls, it's basically a way to gauge responses on the question they just posed, not something off on a different topic entirely. Glad you found the other advice helpful.

iloveu4ever · April 2011

I am getting mad at one of my bridesmaids for not showing up at all when my other 2 showed up dress shopping. I am letting them pick out their own dress just have to be apple red.

niecie_jeff · April 2011

I am letting my girls pick out their dresses as well. I have just told them nice, classic black cocktail dresses. They have all been sending me pictures of the dresses they like, but I know I wont have to worry about what they will pick out.

mstar284 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bridesmaids-pick-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ddab451-2f40-4914-9306-bdbb84884618Post:eb2e903c-4be2-4eda-991f-f311045d65bd">Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses... : Of course it's not challenging, but confusing b/c it has NOTHING to do with what you're actually asking. When people post polls, it's basically a way to gauge responses on the question they just posed, not something off on a different topic entirely. Glad you found the other advice helpful.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

This--

Trying really hard to bite my tongue right now. I wouldn't want to sound rude or anything...

musicjailbird7 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bridesmaids-pick-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ddab451-2f40-4914-9306-bdbb84884618Post:8781ab47-0a83-46f0-ad33-50038ec6fbdd">Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses... : I was going to offer helpful advice, until this response. Obviously, if I'm so stupid that I don't get why two totally unrelated things are in the same post, then my advice probably isn't good enough to be worth anything anyway. In the future, you might try saving cute little snarks like that for once you've gotten to know a group instead of lobbing them at complete strangers.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
I don't get why people on the internet, yes even intelligent grown women, get so worked up over something so small? If I offended you personally I apologize, really. I don't even know you so I wouldn't be out to offend you. I was simply pointing out that it's silly to ask multiple times "what does that poll have to do with your post?" when sure, it's not the exact same question, it just happened to be on my mind and I was curious since I was posting about my bridesmaids anyway. I hope you're all feeling very proud and satisfied now that I've cleared up the confusion. And don't take my remarks so seriously, I'm snarking back to what seem to me to be rather stupid questions. If you or someone else asked "should I wear my hair in an updo or down?" and then added a poll relating to hair styles on the wedding day, or even veils, I would assume they were curious about both and seeking advice on both matters, but maybe the poll in a less sought after manner. I wouldn't snap "What would you ask that for? Do you even know how the 'poll' works?" ... really, I just think it's childish, and yes stupid. Not saying anyone is stupid, just the barrage of "what's with the poll?" questions is stupid, because it should be obvious that I put it there to see the votes. So long post short, don't hate ladies, this is just a message board, no need to get your panties in a twist. <div><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></div>

musicjailbird7 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bridesmaids-pick-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ddab451-2f40-4914-9306-bdbb84884618Post:ae3a45ab-ecf5-434f-8dc6-dfedd3c2463d">Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]I am letting my girls pick out their dresses as well. I have just told them nice, classic black cocktail dresses. They have all been sending me pictures of the dresses they like, but I know I wont have to worry about what they will pick out.
Posted by niecie_jeff[/QUOTE]
That's good. I think I'll leave it to them and just verify with them before they purchase. 4 of them are already married, and two are getting married soon so they'll probably know what to get.

Robyn5298 · April 2011

MusicJailBird - to answer your original question, I agree with the other girls that suggested giving your bridesmaids a few guidelines to work with. I asked my girls to get something in charcoal from Alfred Angelo and it worked out really well. If you go this route I just want to give you the heads up that some designers offer different fabrics in the same color. For example - 3 of my bridesmaids had satin dresses with a shimmery overlay and my MOH ended up with a flat fabric with no shimmer at all. It didn't bother me, but you can easily see the difference in photos. Just something to keep in mind if that type of thing would bug you. As for how many bridesmaids to have, that's entirely up to you! There are no rules about how many you're allowed, even if you're having a small wedding. Also, it's perfectly fine to have uneven sides so don't feel like you need to have the same number of bridesmaids as you do groomsmen. If they don't match up it really isnt a big deal. Hope this helps!

Summer2011Bride · April 2011

OP: I don't think anyone was offended until you offered your snarky "it's not that challenging, ladies..." little condescending dig, which was quite unnecessary, when no one had been rude and had been asking an honestly good question to clear up confusion.

Also, just for future reference, your poll options were a little confusing. I have 4 BM's. So would I answer in the 1-3 category or the 5-7? There is no option for four. When you do post polls, your answer options should also cover all possible options. Just FYI.

::commence snarky comment about the helpful advice I Just posted::

marinabreeze · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bridesmaids-pick-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ddab451-2f40-4914-9306-bdbb84884618Post:712f8ad3-9fb8-466e-a430-e12af33802ed">Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]OP: I don't think anyone was offended until you offered your snarky "it's not that challenging, ladies..." little condescending dig, which was quite unnecessary, when no one had been rude and had been asking an honestly good question to clear up confusion. Also, just for future reference, your poll options were a little confusing. I have 4 BM's. So would I answer in the 1-3 category or the 5-7? There is no option for four. When you do post polls, your answer options should also cover all possible options. Just FYI. ::commence snarky comment about the helpful advice I Just posted::
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
Considering the fact that the OP has been making passive-aggressive digs at the intelligence of such helpful PPs due to her inclusion of a completely unrelated poll, I find a little irony in her math fail of said poll. That is all.

Enami · April 2011

I've talked with my mom and MOH about the BMs' dresses, and all I'm saying is "Get something between knee and tea length, and in bright colors, no green". My FSIL and MOH, who I've asked so far, both look awesome in bright colors (I'd like FSIL in yellow/orange, and MOH in blue, both colors they've picked out before for themselves in formalwear). My only other friend I'm thinking of asking as a BM teaches Zumba, so she LIVES in bright colors, and loves pink/purple, and would wear a mini dress if given the chance. I'm searching for a pale green dress to wear, so I really would rather have the BMs' dresses not be green and be more color saturated. Other than that, whatever they want.

doeie04 · May 2011

I still have over 7 months before my girls need to even think about dresses. I was stressing out about finding one that would fit my wide range of girls and their tastes. I finally decided that I was going to pick the designer, fabric, color and length, and they could pick their dress. Way easier that way!

And the look will be close enough

mcp0616 · May 2011

I have 7 bridesmaids and they choose their own dress. We made a date when they were all available and went shopping and to dinner. It worked out great! They picked the same dress and it was the one that I originally like months before (I didnt give any opinion except a like it or not like it comment)

Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...

Re: Letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards