Tacky? Asking friends first..

Re: Tacky? Asking friends first..

• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2012

  Oh indeed! And all are professionals - so it's not as if I'm asking Aunt SoandSo who likes to bake to make me a wedding cake

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• emeejeeayen member

  

  August 2012

  It's also tricky because working your wedding will mean they won't be able to enjoy your wedding. 

  whatshouldwecallweddings.tumblr.com

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• Summer2011Bride member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-asking-friends-first?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:743b6eb7-2337-4313-9e4c-f8d670c65111Post:a9718265-389d-4c60-a5f0-768e075cd28e">Re: Tacky? Asking friends first..</a>:
  [QUOTE]It's also tricky because working your wedding will mean they won't be able to enjoy your wedding. 
  Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]
  
  Ditto this. I would just be careful doing business with friends overall. With a vendor you don't have a personal relationship with, if you are unhappy with their work or any part of the process, it's never personal. You could always walk away if necessary. It becomes more awkward and difficult when it's a friend or family member. If you are unhappy with a part of their service, you may not feel as comfortable letting them know that, and ultimately, end up unhappy with the final result.

  
  
  
  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2012

  All very good points. A few of these are people I've known for awhile, but aren't "close" with .. as in we went to church together and Facebook kept us in contact. I've seen their websites and they really do wonderful work .. so it's not my friend with just a nice camera.
  Gracious! I knew wedding planning was stressful lol I have all sort of little things cropping up that in day to day life you just don't think about!

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• achiduck member

  

  August 2012

  I agree, if you hire your friends do so with caution. I was planning to use a friend for invitations and after many months of chasing her for proofs I finally had to fire her. She didn't talk to me for 6 weeks and although things are better now they're still a little strained. I figure after the wedding is over it'll probably be normal again.

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• JoanE2012 member

  

  August 2012

  I wouldn't mix friends or family with business.  Not only is it awkward if something goes wrong, but they may often feel obligated to perform the service when they would rather attend and enjoy the wedding as a guest.

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• victorialaek

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-asking-friends-first?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:743b6eb7-2337-4313-9e4c-f8d670c65111Post:83013d43-4a63-4495-88b3-52668b31e731">Tacky? Asking friends first..</a>:
  [QUOTE]So, I am by NO means looking for freebies! Just wanna state that! I fully expect to pay for services, even if they offered to do it free. I have a few friends who are professional photographers and a DJ friend of the family. I asked them via email if they could send me package lists. I didn't say I wanted a discount, free or anything else. I just thought it'd be easier to start with people I knew.. but then got to thinking .. Oh crud ... am I tacky?!?! Gah!!  Help! lol  I don't wanna be 'that person'!!  I promise I wasn't diggin fer discounts! lol 
  Posted by littlewillow[/QUOTE]
  
  
  Absolutely NOT tacky!! I would think when it comes to wedding stuff I prefer a friend no matter the price over somebody I don't know!

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• mkrupar member

  

  August 2012

  1The word tacky has been ruined for me forever from this site. 2 I used a friend who is a professional photographer and I just made sure to sign a contract with her. She brought an asssistant who helped at the reception so she could enjoy it.

  
  

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• Bonzo2011 member

  

  August 2012

  We used a number of friends/acquaintances for our wedding. Our photographer was a very close friend (and husband to one of my BMs), cupcakes were baked by H's cousin, and flowers were done by a friend of a friend (this was more of a business relationship than the first two). For the photographer, we made it very clear from the beginning that we wanted him to enjoy the wedding with his wife. At first, we actually just wanted him to recommend some photographers for us to look at, but the more we talked about it with him and with my BM, the more we realized we just wanted him to do the wedding. We agreed that he would bring an assistant, and we made sure we had a signed contract. We did pay him, though he gave us a very generous discount as a gift. We are incredibly happy with our photos, and to be honest I think a lot of that has to do with being comfortable and relaxed around him. The cupcakes were offered to us by H's cousin as soon as we got engaged. Her cupcakes are absolutely amazing, and when she made the offer we knew we wanted to go that route. Again, we made sure she would enjoy her time as a guest. She was able to get to the venue early with the caterers to set up and arrange with the servers to refill the cupcake tower as needed. Except to package up to go boxes for guests leaving early, I don't think she stepped foot in the kitchen during the reception. Also, we again had a signed contract. The florist, while an acquaintance, was not someone who would be invited to the wedding. We approached her the way one does with recommendations, "we saw your work at so-and-so's wedding, and really liked it" Again, contract, just like any other vendor! I hope this helps. Lots of people do recommend staying away from friends and family as vendors. I think though, that as long as you treat the service as a professional exchange with a contract that clearly states expectations, and as long as you put their enjoyment as a guest at the front (ie making sure they bring an assistant) it can work out really well. Good luck!

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• Bierfrau member

  

  August 2012

  I have a friend who got ordained another who is baking two wedding cakes, the third is our DJ, my other friend is working every year at the  fair here in Texas as Bellydancer she is part of our entertainment for the evening so is my other friend , she has a beautiful singing voice. The photographer is also friend who is going to be with me for at least 10 hr for $250 including video. This are all presents for our special day. What do i expect? That everybody still has fun. Will everything be perfect? Yes because there our friends and even when some thing will go wrong I am going to smile and be greatfull because I am a friend to.

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