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What should I do?

Carla1019Carla1019
1000 Comments
in African American Weddings

On October 21st I'm having a B-Day dinner at a nice restaurant and I'm inviting the wedding party only. My BM and his GM do not know each other so I thought this would be a great opportunity to celebrate my B-day and introduce everyone.

FI and I agreed that we would host the dinner and pay for everyone's meal. A few days ago he was talking about my dinner in front of good friends that are not in the WP. They asked to come and that they would pay for their own meal. Of course FI without talking to me first said okay.

I am now stuck between a rock and a hard place. I think it is tacky to ask them to pay for their meal while we are paying for everyone else's. Also, asking FI to dis-invite them is rude. If we let them come and pay for their meal, my other close friends that I told my dinner is WP only will feel left out.

What would you do?

Wedding date July 7, 2012
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Re: What should I do?

  • MsAmeera25MsAmeera25 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Then I would let them come and have them pay for their own food. I would get there a little early and explain to the waiter  who you are paying for so at the end it isn't awkward and he will just give you the bill for the WP. I would also invite the other friends as well and have them pay for themselves....it's your bday so the more the merrier.

     

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  • teamUS2012teamUS2012
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That really sucks.

    But the new me is trying to focus on the grand scheme of things... lol. So, in the grand scheme, I agree with MsAmeera. It's your birthday, so the more people who love you and want to celebrate you, the merrier.

    Let them come, and then call your other friends and tell them that you initially intended for your birthday dinner to be for the WP only, but you'd really like it if they could join you all for dinner.

    And have fun! :)
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies, after dinner we are going out dancing so I was going to invite other friends to meet us out later. The purpose of my dinner is for the WP to get to know each other better. I want to keep the dinner small and intimate, than have the "party" afterwards.

    Plus the restaurant does not except separate tabs. We have to pay with one credit card.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • hatroopeshatroopes member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:41fbe279-1747-490b-9a93-9ef9c18c7618Post:8f368f5a-2384-4e0f-a211-c790bd1e1f73">Re: What should I do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks ladies, after dinner we are going out dancing so I was going to invite other friends to meet us out later. <strong>The purpose of my dinner is for the WP to get to know each other better. </strong>I want to keep the dinner small and intimate, than have the "party" afterwards. Plus the restaurant does not except separate tabs. We have to pay with one credit card.
    Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

    <div>I would explain this to them...then invite them to the after party. Or you can also tell them you only made reservations for a certain number and now the restaurant is booked and can't accommodate any more reservations.</div>
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  • teamUS2012teamUS2012
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, in that case, I would just call them and tell them you changed your plans for the dinner and would love for them to meet you at the dancing spot later, if they will.
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  • wallacjewallacje member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:41fbe279-1747-490b-9a93-9ef9c18c7618Post:8d0d4007-eb51-41fd-b360-a987b577adf5">Re: What should I do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, in that case, I would just call them and tell them you changed your plans for the dinner and would love for them to meet you at the dancing spot later, if they will.
    Posted by teamUS2012[/QUOTE]

    This and remind FI that he can't just go inviting people to things if you guys have set plan already.
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  • MsAmeera25MsAmeera25 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:41fbe279-1747-490b-9a93-9ef9c18c7618Post:a58150dc-a78f-414c-ab68-5569ff904012">Re: What should I do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What should I do? : This and remind FI that he can't just go inviting people to things if you guys have set plan already.
    Posted by wallacje[/QUOTE]


    I agree!!

     

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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Yup! I just finished explaining to FI AGAIN that we have to stay on the same page. Because if he says Yes to everyone and i'm saying No than I look like the Bridezilla.
     
    FYI, Houston knotties in case you didn't know, the restaurant I'm talking about is Sambuca Downtown. I did not know they have such strict rules when it comes to a large reservation. This place is not cheap, but the live entertainment is worth the hassle.

    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • teamUS2012teamUS2012
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We have Sambuca in Atlanta. Love the atmosphere, ambiance, and music... hate the food.

    I also hate the fact that my ex took me there for my bday years ago, which put it on my MUST HATE restaurants list. LOL!
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