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Family drama, need advice!

JacklovesSarahJacklovesSarah
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My Uncle Tom and his wife, Susan, are getting a divorce and Tom is with another woman now. Susan has gone completely nutzo: stalking my father's sister, demanding money from my mother, vandalizing uncle Tom's house. Generally, she's making everyone uncomfortable and making a real a** of herself.

Based on her behavior, it makes me nervous to invite her to my wedding, so I decided not to. I don't know if she can be civilized. Am I wrong in doing this?

If I don't invite Susan, can I still invite my cousin who lives with her?

This is such a sucky situation. I need someone with fresh eyes to advise me. What is the right thing to do ettiquette-wise? I hope this all made sense.
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Re: Family drama, need advice!

  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    No you don't have to invite her and yes you could still invite your cousin.
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  • LuckyGirl1713LuckyGirl1713
    First Comment
    You do not have to invite the crazy lady to your wedding.  I would invite your cousin on your uncle's invitation, unless they are not close or on speaking terms.  If your cousin is old enough for his own invitation I may actually hand deliver the invitation so that the crazy lady doesn't get a hold of it and never give it to your cousin or worse take the information and show up on your wedding to cause a scene.
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  • jeff0908jeff0908
    First Comment
    I had the same issues but my fiance's mom siad she would not be there if her dad and sister were there so of course they were crossed off the list.  if it is going to make someone more inportant to you not to show up and would go with whatever they say 
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  • dumdumfroggiedumdumfroggie
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_family-drama-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6513c7c4-a744-4d2a-852c-db94c100fe0ePost:13d1b5d0-206d-4b26-a793-956f10a122cf">Re: Family drama, need advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You have a year and a half until your wedding.  Things may calm down by then.  Don't send them STDs.  By July 2013, when your invitations go out, you should have a better idea of what to do.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  Wait on it a bit, if the situation does not resolve itself, invite your uncle and cousin.</div>
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  • maribeth721maribeth721
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_family-drama-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6513c7c4-a744-4d2a-852c-db94c100fe0ePost:8f37bd46-2cf1-4f2e-ad79-122c85397729">Re: Family drama, need advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You do not have to invite the crazy lady to your wedding.  I would invite your cousin on your uncle's invitation, unless they are not close or on speaking terms.  If your cousin is old enough for his own invitation I may actually hand deliver the invitation so that the crazy lady doesn't get a hold of it and never give it to your cousin or worse take the information and show up on your wedding to cause a scene.
    Posted by LuckyGirl1713[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. Also if you are inviting your cousin to bring a guest, just be wary cousin doesn't bring her. Especially if she knows about it. I have a similar situation. I am not inviting the person to bring a guest because I know the guest will be my cousin who is not invited.
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  • JacklovesSarahJacklovesSarah
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thanks so much guys! Tom is my father's brother; probably should have mentioned that, and my cousin is 20 years old, but she doesn't think her mother is ever at fault for anything. Honestly, she got stuck with two parents who just could never get it together: a selfish father and a psychotic mother.

    I'll wait and see what happens, and if need be, I'll put my cousin's name on my uncle's card. I'd like to hand deliver it, but my cousin doesn't live in the state.

    Knotties always know! :D
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  • iloveu4everiloveu4ever member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I agree invite Tom and your cousin but not Psycho lady

     
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  • frankiew83frankiew83 member
    First Comment

    Your wedding is about YOU and if you are going to worried all day then I say NO!!!  This is one of the few days in your life that it is all about you so feel comfortable with who is there!

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