Thanks so much for the response. I am aware that there are a lot of different things being tangled together in one issue and I am not trying to lump it all together and blame the Mormons, but the more time my sister has spent going to the temple, the further she has gotten from our family, and while this is probably not the church's fault, it feels like it has something to do with it. As for handing the planning off, she didn't do that... well, she handed it off to me when I arrived on Tuesday. She hadn't prepared for anything and had a list of to dos for our family and kept saying his family would be there any minute to help but then they never showed up. I take that back. The day before the wedding my family worked all day (through the rehearsal dinner we didn't know about) and his family showed up at 12:30AM. We left at 1. The next day she said to my mom, "wasn't it nice of his family to stay and help me," and made no mention of everything our friends and family had done. It feels like she only sees his family and her church friends and we are invisible, and my sister was never like this before. She was always very aware of others feelings and grateful.
The bishop and grooms family definitely played down the ring ceremony. They were supposed to be at the hall at 3PM and most didn't come until 5:30. Three groomsmen didn't get there until 6:20 (wedding was supposed to start at 6) and while the bridesmaids were walking down the aisle, several other family members joined the processional and found their seats at the front. And the bishop made sure we understood that this was not a real ceremony countless times. It was very uncomfortable.
In response to Ekob, I think the thing that bothered me most was that my sister didn't really look at our family for the enitre ceremony/reception. I know brides are busy but the only time she looked at us was to ask for something (including my 80 year old grandmother). I feel like his family has replaced ours. This was most evident during their getaway. My family was busy trying to get things together and the only reason we didn’t miss the getaway was because my sister couldn’t find the bubbles (one of the guests took all 90). She asked and my aunt said, “Oh my, you’re leaving? Let me get my camera!” (His family had lined up along the walkway without telling anyone else). He husband whispered audibly that his family was ready to go and she repeated, “We need to go. His family is ready to leave.” To which I responded, “Well, our family would like to be apart of this, could you wait 1 minute.” Literally 1 minute! She said yes but for the whole minute he was pulling her to the door and telling her they needed to go. There was so much more but I’ll stop for now.