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Maybe 2012 isn't a good year?

chelsy31588chelsy31588
10 Comments
in Chit Chat
I've posted a little about this situation before, so cliff notes version. My MOH's little brother is battling bone cancer and will be moving out of state to be with her family. My grandpa was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. One of my bridesmaids is moving out of state, and another is going through a divorce and she has a whole mess of family problems. I'm trying to be supportive to all these people but all this stuff coming up is putting a real damper on my wedding planning mood. I feel bad for being happy and excited about the wedding when so many horrible things are going on in my family and my friend's families.

I want to go forward with this wedding but I feel bad about it now.
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Re: Maybe 2012 isn't a good year?

  • doeie04doeie04 member
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    Sorry you are in this position. It must be really hard for your friends and family as well.

    I don't really have any good advice. Maybe scale down the wedding? Maybe elope? Maybe keep your plans? I have no clue. :(

    I did want to say that you shouldn't plan your life around someone else. (I am not trying to be insensitive, I can't think of a better way to phrase it.) If you do, stuff will always come up and you will not get to live out your own life.

    If your BP feels they can't participate in the wedding, it would be understandable, and I am sure you would be okay with that. I would also think your grandpa would want you to still get married (and prostate cancer isn't always fatal) weather he was there or not.

    I hope that didn't sound biitchy, I didn't mean it to be. Im sure someone else will say all this way better than I did.
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
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    I think you need to have a serious talk with your FI about what you think the best plan of action is. Personally, I wouldn't want to wait, but it's also hard to say since I'm not in that position.
    Maybe talk it over with the people that are closest to you, being as humble as possible and making it very clear that you want what is best for everyone.
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  • jennipea382jennipea382 member
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    I agree with PP about the difficulty of planning around things. Things always come up. Usually not things like this, but unfortunately bad things do happen often. As PP mentioned, putting off your wedding or anything like that might end up during a hard time for someone else. As selfish as it may sound, it's impossible to plan around other people's lives.

    I agree that you should sit down with your FI and maybe some close friends or family members and see what the best plan is. Personally if I were in a bad situation, I'd love to go to a wedding or something to get my mind off of the bad things for a day. I don't know your friends and family, but maybe they'd feel the same way. But if you think they would just feel too stressed coming to your wedding and it's taking its toll on you, maybe eloping, postponing, or having a small wedding would be a better option.

    Sorry you and your loved ones are having a tough time. It really sucks when it all piles up like that. Hoping for the best outcomes possible for everyone and good luck figuring something out!
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  • acaponi87acaponi87 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Obviously the decision is up to you and your FI but I think it'd be good for these people to have something to celebrate! I don't think any of them would want you to postpone based on the things you've described. It's okay to be happy and excited..you're getting married! Life is never going to be super happy for everyone at once..if you and your FI are ready than go for it!
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  • Sydney91Sydney91 member
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    I would see the wedding as a time to enjoy life and set aside the troubles for the day. Kind of a light in the darkness thing I guess. 
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