Not Engaged Yet

Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?

I feel a little crazy. My boyfriend and I have lived together for awhile. We've know for awhile that we were meant to be. We openly talk about marriage and children. A discussion started about having a wedding in september right before we go on vacation (that my mom is paying for) and it could be our Honeymoon. We both agreed. So we've picked a date, have a venue, have an officiant...but one thing is missing... my proposal!!

I have no ring on my finger, and he hasn't asked me officially to marry him. The ring I liked is no longer being sold and he tells me he's trying to find another. Is anyone in my shoes? Do you feel like you are doing it all wrong? I kind of feel like not planning anything else until I have a ring, but it's kind of my fault I ended up here. 
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Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?

  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:c1aec3eb-56cd-4410-8fcf-67c9197655a8">Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel a little crazy. My boyfriend and I have lived together for awhile. We've know for awhile that we were meant to be. We openly talk about marriage and children. A discussion started about having a wedding in september right before we go on vacation (that my mom is paying for) and it could be our Honeymoon. We both agreed. So we've picked a date, have a venue, have an officiant...but one thing is missing... my proposal!! I have no ring on my finger, and he hasn't asked me officially to marry him. The ring I liked is no longer being sold and he tells me he's trying to find another. Is anyone in my shoes? Do you feel like you are doing it all wrong? I kind of feel like not planning anything else until I have a ring, but it's kind of my fault I ended up here. 
    Posted by [email protected][/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Please read the thread titled "New? Read this first!" It will tell you what the majority of the posters on this board (including myself) think about a situation like yours.

    </div>
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  • thank you. I will read that.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:5cbf61e4-5127-42f6-a34b-7b81de98d710">Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged? : Please read the thread titled "New? Read this first!" It will tell you what the majority of the posters on this board (including myself) think about a situation like yours.
    Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]
    You win the nicest person of the day award.<div>
    </div><div>Here it is: </div><div>
    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/7/8f46d4af-f83c-43d4-b728-37c3bb3234e9.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/7/8f46d4af-f83c-43d4-b728-37c3bb3234e9.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
    </div>
  • Ummm HI?

    Look you're getting married, you don't need  a proposal to get married.  If you and your SO have agreed to getting married, have a venue and officiant then look you're ENGAGED.  Yay CONGRATULATIONS *Party streamers* I can understand why you feel like a proposal and ring is needed before you go ahead and plan a wedding.  But there are a lot of ladies today that don't feel the need for that and just go forward in their planning.  Your SO is looking for a ring right now, so don't feel like you're doing all of this backwards.  Just focus on you, your SO and your soon to be wedding.  Whether you get presented with an engagement ring or wedding band the main point is you're moving forward and spending your life with the man you love.  SO SNAP out of the funk.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:d1a6f86f-b806-4196-a299-20c5fec30309">Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged? : You win the nicest person of the day award. Here it is: 
    Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]
    Cutest award EVARRR!
    Anniversary
  • Wait. What is egnaged?

    Weird. This is what google says when you search "engaged definition"

    en·gaged  

    /enˈgājd/
    Adjective
    1. Busy; occupied.
    2. (of a toilet) Already in use.
     
    Synonyms
    busy - occupied - betrothed - affianced


    of a toilet?
  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:d1a6f86f-b806-4196-a299-20c5fec30309">Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged? : You win the nicest person of the day award. Here it is: 
    Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

    <div>I want!!!</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:d1a6f86f-b806-4196-a299-20c5fec30309">Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged? : You win the nicest person of the day award. Here it is: 
    Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]<div>how cute!

    </div>

    Anniversary

  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:d1a6f86f-b806-4196-a299-20c5fec30309">Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged? : You win the nicest person of the day award. Here it is: 
    Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

    <div>Awwwww!</div>
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  • I can't even deal..... But that award is freaking adorable. I want one!

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    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
    image 21 Unknown
  • Oh my! The award is adorable!!

    OP congrats on your engagement! Sorry you skipped the proposal step but your planning a wedding thus you are engaged.
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  • beanbot2002beanbot2002 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:d882a56f-182d-4308-8c8c-3c85ca6433e5">Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh my! The award is adorable!! OP congrats on your engagement! Sorry you skipped the proposal step<strong> but your planning a wedding thus you are engaged.
    </strong>Posted by Lilyrose4242[/QUOTE]

    EHHHHH! (that's a big wrong button, annoying noise right there).

    OP, folks that say, "You're planning a wedding thus you are engaged." are wrong. Planning a wedding =/= being engaged. BUT, agreeing with your SO that you will marry, setting a date (together), and then planning said wedding (together) does mean you are engaged. So, it sounds like you are engaged. Is your SO/FI part of the planning process, or are you doing this under the cover of night? The answer to that will answer your "Are we or aren't we" question.
    There are plenty of girls who begin planning without the consent of their SO and this does not equal engaged. It equals them being bat fraking sh!t crazy.

    ETA: Spelling. Cause I haven't finished my coffee yet. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • Also, OP, I would come up with a more secure screen name. Using your full email address could invite even more unwanted spam and people messing with you. Just a small safety tip.
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    No, I wouldn't have planned prior to getting engaged because now that I'm engaged, I've learned that wedding planning completely and utterly sucks.

  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In addition, you might want to reconsider only doing a dessert table.  A 6:45pm wedding is still dinner time, and you need to host accordingly.
    I french with my man
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_is-anyone-actively-planning-but-not-egnaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b15fde3-ce7b-4e67-b8a3-e09adb969878Post:ae6c111e-d65e-431f-b1b0-8d24c8a328d0">Re: Is anyone actively planning but not egnaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In addition, you might want to reconsider only doing a dessert table.  A 6:45pm wedding is still dinner time, and you need to host accordingly.
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]


    Ditto this. You cannot just serve dessert at 6:45 pm.



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