In lieu of dancing... am I nuts?

Piru · June 2010

I think I'll be the only person at my wedding that likes to dance, lol. I don't want an awkward, boring, empty dance floor. Our favorite music is not all that dance-able anyway.

So this is where I want to get married: http://treehouseparadise.com/ What is it? Well, a place in Southern Oregon where you can stay in treehouses! Which are too small for a wedding, but they have nice other settings and then Mr DF and I can honeymoon at the treehouses without having to go anywhere.

So I was thinking our "normal" reception could be brief, with food and happy and the usual first dance, father/daughter and mother/son dances. Then break! Change clothes and let's go tree climbing! White water rafting! Gold panning! Cave tours!

Am I totally nuts? It'll be a pretty small wedding- about 30 people- and I think most people will be able to do this stuff. I was thinking on the invites I'd advise bringing a change of clothes and along with the check boxes for attending/not attending, asking people what activity they'd be most interested in.

How stoked would you be if you were invited to a wedding like this? Has anyone here done or seen something similar? How'd it go?

I'm also debating how I should time things. Maybe this should be in between ceremony and dinner, since it's pretty much all daytime activities?

blackfire5th · June 2010

Would guests have to pay for the extra activities?

mundaetraversa · June 2010

You're not nuts. I think that if you know your guests, and think they would have fun doing the activities you're considering, you should go for it. People will always remember your wedding as the only one they've attended (or will attend) that included life jackets. That's just kind of awesome.

trix1223 · June 2010

Here's my thought: If you offer a variety of activities, then you're dividing up your guests. Will they ALL go tree climbing at the same time? Will they all go white water rafting? Will they all go on a cave tour together? What about people who may not be able to physically climb trees or white water raft? What about claustriphobic people who simply can't go into a cave? What are they to do?

I think a wedding is a chance for people to socialize, mingle, chat, catch up. I think splitting up the guests into groups that go do random "stuff" kind of takes away from that experience.

If you decide to go white water rafting, and guests don't want to, they're having pretty much no interaction with you at a wedding that they have taken their time to attend, perhaps buy clothes for, perhaps traveled to, bought a gift for.

And of course, if you offer these options, you have to be willing to pay for them all. Will people choose their "activity" on a response card?

As for the music: the reception doesn't have to be, nor should it be just YOUR favorite music. The reception is a thank you for your guests who attend your wedding. You can mix up the music and a good dj knows how to read a crowd and switch up music to get people involved.

I vote no. Sounds better on paper than IRL to me.

unplainjane · June 2010

the treehouse looks cool. the activities sound good but some people may not want to do this stuff. have a place for guests that don't want to do the activities so they can sit and chat and have some drinks/snacks while others are out and about. as well you'll need to have a place where guests can store and hang their nice clothes when they change. i wouldn't want to have no place to hang my dress and have to roll it up and stuff it in a corner somewhere. if i were to do an activity like this i would definitely want to eat first. i'm usuallly starving at weddings. the activities sound more daytime based. have you considered doing ceremony then lunch then the activities? or if you want to do the activities between the ceremony and dinner then i would at least serve some sandwiches or something before the activities.

chigirl2010 · June 2010

I agree - you know your close friends and family well and if you think they'd be excited, go for it! Plus your group is small; it'd be a different answer if yuo have 150 ppl coming. I'm pretty adventurous so I'd be up for it!

Just make sure you spread the word about the type of wedding it will be.

Theresa626 · June 2010

How stoked would you be if you were invited to a wedding like this? Has anyone here done or seen something similar? How'd it go?

I wouldn't like it. I love dancing at weddings. I like eating and drinking. I'd be disappointed by anything less. i do not like nature outdoors stuff so I'd participate but I wouldn't really want to do any of that other stuff. however, it's your family and you know them better and it's your wedding so you decide what you think they and you would like.

Catwoman708 · June 2010

As a guest, I'd be like "WTH? I'm good, ya'll go have fun". And then I'd feel annoyed to be expected to get dressed up for a wedidng, then to have to change clothes and get physical, so I'd just go home. I prefer to pick my outdoorsy activities on my own, not have it picked for me.

For the right crowd it might work, but a wedding reception is not really the time or place to do outdoorsy physical outings.

It sounds like a great idea for a fun outing for your WP, like a bachelor/ette party, RD, or for some really fun photos, or for your honeymoon.

skippylouwho · June 2010

I'm with Catwoman but you know your guests, if they would like this then go for it. If they are like Catwoman and me, I'd rethink this plan.

aerinpegadrak · June 2010

I'd probably be up for it as a guest, but I think the whole wedding would have to be fairly casual to permit something like this. It'd be a bit odd to have an upscale cocktail party and then throw on some jeans for river rafting.

Check out offbeatbride.com for some neat outdoorsy weddings.

Catwoman708 · June 2010

I think pp worded it better than I did.

Not that I'm against the activities, but either pick the whole wedding dressy, or casual, don't expect guests to get dressed up then change. And warn them in advance.

harmrose02 · June 2010

That would be a blast as a combined bachelor/bachelorette party!

beautifulbridetobe11 · June 2010

I agree with PP that you're the one who knows your guests but I wanted to point out that using the response card as an activity poll is probably not the best idea. People will probably assume that they are signing up for a particular activity, not just throwing in their opinion. I would decide ahead of time the 1 or 2 activities that you would offer to all the guests (and pay for of course) and then put them on the response card. I would also either include more information about these activities (time, place, what to wear, etc) in with the invities or on a wedding website just to make sure that your guests are well prepared and not caught off guard.

NINA1110 · July 2010

I would be excited to be invited to an event like that! so different and sounds lke so you guys. a wedding is to portray ur styles adn personalities....so go for it

lkpeaocck · July 2010

I don't think you're nuts to not have dancing. We're not having dancing at our reception. That said, as PPs have mentioned, take into account your guests feelings towards activities like this. If there is even ONE important (AKA they have to be there) guest that would cringe at the idea, nix it. It is you and your FI day, BUT you want to make sure your guests have a good time and enjoy themselves. I also agree with the PPs that if you do think your guests would love this idea to make sure your wedding is very casual. Tux's and a formal, overly ornate gown would just look silly.

In lieu of dancing... am I nuts?

Re: In lieu of dancing... am I nuts?

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