Florida-South Florida

plus one etiquette

So FI and I just sent out invitation.  We had decided that when it comes to plus one's we didnt want any except for those who were in a significant relationship (not necessarily engaged or married, but been together for several months).  However, FI has a friend who will not know anyone at the wedding, and wishes to bring a plus one.  We both feel torn not knowing if we should say no, as it goes against the rule we decided on or say yes, because she wont know anyone else and there is probably no one else in her situation invited to the wedding.

What do y'all think?  Thanks!

Re: plus one etiquette

  • adclovesadcloves member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I feel that a guests comfort level is very important. I think about how I would feel going to a place where I did not know anyone. Please keep in mind that I am in total agreement with you on etiquette for couples, as I am an etiquette snob...but sometimes rules can be tweaked for the sake of politeness and understanding. Also, know etiquette does not say you can not allow a guest to bring someone; it just merely states that guests that are married or live with someone are to be invited as a couple.

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  • nilofurjnilofurj member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think having one person bring a guest so they arent sitting alone is fine.
    We had this problem as well and a few of our guests have since asked to bring a new gf/bf we hadnt known about. Our situation is also a little different since they are also flying in from different parts of the country. It just makes it easier for them to travel with someone and get a hotel room, etc.

    But of course, some couples say absolutely no plus ones. It all depends on you and how much you value that particular guest coming to your wedding.
    Good luck
  • edited December 2011
    Yea, I think for 1 person not to feel uncomfortable you can bend the rules. But what we did on our invites is we included the names of all the guests we were inviting. If there was only 1 name, only 1 person was invited and no one questioned it, surprisingly!
    :: Lynette & PJ :: 1.22.11 :: For Sale ::
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  • twinkle82576twinkle82576 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm torn in this situation, because while I wouldn't want to bend the rule for anyone (feeling that if I bend it for one I should bend it for all), I wouldn't want my guest to feel uncomfortable. Actually, if I was the guest in this situation, chances are I wouldn't even attend the wedding.

    Sorry, I was of absolutely no help. GL!
  • edited December 2011
    I would let them bring a plus one. FI and I have decided the same rule you have, only plus ones for those in serious relationships or married but I also said that if the person doesn't know anyone, then it is ok to add a plus one for the comfort level. I say add the plus 1! :)
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  • Rainbow17Rainbow17 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I thought the rule was if the person you're inviting doesn't know anyone else at the wedding and also isn't married/engaged/serious relationshp you make it a plus one.  No one wants to go to any social event, not know anyone, and go alone.
  • sadou02sadou02 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am in the sitaution with a friend of mine. I knew she would be by herself and she asked if she could bring a girlfriend along and I was happy to meet that.  I didnt want her sitting there all alone and feeling uncomfortable.

    I say go for it with the plus one for that friend.
    image139 Made the list!
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    image 0 Are getting on my nerves!
  • edited December 2011
    I don't know what it is about me, but I have a history of being good friends with people, but not really knowing their other friends. For this reason, I'm often invited to weddings where I don't know anyone, and I've gone to plenty of weddings all alone. I can tell you that it is really difficult (and I'm a super outgoing person, but it's still difficult). Dinner can be awkward enough, trying to make conversation with strangers (most of whom have dates and may not care to talk to the new girl), but when the dance comes around it's excruciating. All of this to say, that yes, I think you should make an exception.
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