Not Quite Engaged...But Still Excited!

StefanieMae13 · December 2009

I feel kinda silly that I'm this excited but I told my boyfriend when we first started dating that I wanted a pearl ring before I got an engagment ring. Well...I got my pearl for Christmas this year. I know I'm not engaged but I am so excited because I know that it is coming now. I have also told him that I have a date picked out. We realized this year that our parents have the same anniversary. They were both married on Sept 15th (several years apart as my boyfriend is 9 years older than me.) I want to get married on the same day and the next time that is on a weekend is 2012. My mom thinks this is way to long for us to wait but I think it would be SO special especially because we are both so close to our parents. I also had a friend tell me this wasn't fair because it would take away from our parents anniversaries. What does everyone think...am I crazy for getting this excited and do you think using this date is wrong?

amlaplante · December 2009

No way!! You're not crazy for getting excited! My FI and I had a date picked out and we were planning before we were actually engaged. I have been planning for a couple months and his entire family knows. We just got engaged on Christmas Eve "for real". Getting excited before hand is totally fine! Of course it does also depend on how long you have been dating. If you two have been together for 2 months and he bought you a pearl and you're talking about marriage I'd say hold your horses, but it sounds like you two have a plan and if you're okay with waiting until 2012 then by all means GO AHEAD!

But just so u know. When you are actually talking about weddings and marriage it's a lot harder to wait. You want it to be as soon as possible. (That's just something to keep in mind.)

StefanieMae13 · December 2009

We have been together for 6 months but knew eachother and spend lots of time together for about 10 month before we made it official. I know it's gonna be that hard but with all of the crazy things we have going on in the next couple of years....I know I won't have time to plan a wedding. As much as my mom would love for me to hand it all over to her (I'm the only girl in the family) I want to plan the wedding of my dreams! I keep telling her that my older brother has to be first since him and his GF have been together for over a year and live together now. This way we have some time between them! HAHA!

MNVegas · December 2009

I don't think you are silly at all. As for the date, my sister and my brother both had their weddings on 3/23, but not the same year. My sister really wanted FI & I to get married on 3/23 also, but unfortunately it just does not fit our schedule.

I don't think there is anything wrong with pick your parent's anniversary date, especially since both sets of parents share that date already. Just remember though when your anniversary rolls around, you can't complain about sharing the day!

MNVegas · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-quite-engagedbut-still-excited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:1b9c22de-3d0c-4831-af11-f82b0fe58433Post:596ebe28-6773-4e0f-a8f7-cda2e8a5323c">Re: Not Quite Engaged...But Still Excited!</a>:
[QUOTE]No way!! You're not crazy for getting excited! My FI and I had a date picked out and we were planning before we were actually engaged. I have been planning for a couple months and his entire family knows. We just got engaged on Christmas Eve "for real".
Posted by amlaplante[/QUOTE]

Same here, we got engaged on Christmas morning "for real".

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Why did you tell him you want a pearl ring before an engagement ring?

Anyway, using the date isn't wrong, unless it just highly irritates either set of parents. Get engaged first, then deal with a date. However, that is almost two years away, and if you get engaged anytime soon, a two year engagement is going to feel like forever, I know, ours will be 22 months by the time of the wedding and I'm SO over wedding stuff.

SarahSmile23 · December 2009

ditto, whit, long engagements generally take away from the excitement and add stress. i wouldn't have a longer engagement than i had to just because of the date. i also don't think anybody's parents are going to be upset if you do choose that date. if they are upset, they are being silly!

SarahSmile23 · December 2009

stefanie, be careful giving away personal information when your sn is your real name!

I'm knot at work · December 2009

Stef, what is "kroj," and how does one win at it?

DevonStiles · December 2009

Hmm.

DevonStiles · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-quite-engagedbut-still-excited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:1b9c22de-3d0c-4831-af11-f82b0fe58433Post:d06d33dc-25e0-4942-8a88-f6fe95158c51">Re: Not Quite Engaged...But Still Excited!</a>:
[QUOTE]Stef, what is "kroj," and how does one win at it?
Posted by I'm knot at work[/QUOTE]
Yes, please enlighten us.

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2009

Devon! Long time no see!

salt78 · December 2009

I got a pearl necklace before I got my engagement ring.

[Deleted User] · December 2009

Oh, Salt. I love you.

RaiKai · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-quite-engagedbut-still-excited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:1b9c22de-3d0c-4831-af11-f82b0fe58433Post:90291473-b6c5-4171-88f9-e53964889901">Re: Not Quite Engaged...But Still Excited!</a>:
[QUOTE]I got a pearl necklace before I got my engagement ring.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

I am laughing my ass off at this!

goheels05 · December 2009

heh. heh.

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2009

How long have you been playing accordion? That's cool...and I swear I'm not being facetious.

KappaK · December 2009

I totally fail when it comes to googling. I can't seem to find all the fun trivia!

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Devon!

DED at pearl necklace.

AmoroAgain · December 2009

Whatever Salt. Was your pearl necklace double strand? Cause if it wasn't double strand, it makes your engagement invalid.

salt78 · December 2009

No it was only single.

I guess FI doesn't love me as much as I thought he did.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

Wait until you get engaged to start thinking anything about the wedding. You've only been together 6 months. While he made the gesture with the pearl, it doesn't mean that he's going to propose right away. It could still be years. Most couples I know dated for at least 2-3 years before starting to talk about marriage. At this point, getting excited is just going to drive you nuts worrying about it. Enjoy your relationship rather than focusing on what's coming next. This is a great time in your relationship. You should be enjoying it, not wishing it away.

When you do get engaged, pick a date. Your parents' anniversary would be fine.

eeyring · December 2009

You're definately NOT crazy for being excited about getting married, even before you're enganged. I'm in the same boat. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. For our 6 month anniversary he got me a promise ring. We talk about getting married all the time, and our parents know that we talk about it too.
Secretly though, I know he already has the engagement ring...I just don't know when it's going to happen. I'm way excited too. You shouldn't feel guilty at all. As for waiting until 2012 to get married, for me personally, that would be WAY to long. I want to be married as soon as possible. But, if that fits your life style and that's what you really want, then I say go for it. If both sets of parents are ok with sharing an anniversary with you too, then it will be really special and make that day that much more memorible.

SarahSmile23 · December 2009

woah. a promise ring at 6 months and an e-ring purchased at 10 months seems insanely early to me. whatever happened to getting to know each other and relaxing and taking things one day at a time?

goheels05 · December 2009

Sarah, you're just jealous because it took Mr. Smiles like 4 years to propose. Gah.

SarahSmile23 · December 2009

5 yrs. 5 yrs. haha!

honestly, i think 3--4 yrs is ideal. 5 yrs was a bit much. however, i admire the fact that mr. smiles wanted to be able to pay for my ring and our wedding in cash!

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-quite-engagedbut-still-excited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:1b9c22de-3d0c-4831-af11-f82b0fe58433Post:9ead127d-4db5-4efe-8535-875494852ca9">Re: Not Quite Engaged...But Still Excited!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're definately NOT crazy for being excited about getting married, even before you're enganged. I'm in the same boat. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. For our 6 month anniversary he got me a promise ring. We talk about getting married all the time, and our parents know that we talk about it too. Secretly though, I know he already has the engagement ring...I just don't know when it's going to happen. I'm way excited too. You shouldn't feel guilty at all. As for waiting until 2012 to get married, for me personally, that would be WAY to long. I want to be married as soon as possible. But, if that fits your life style and that's what you really want, then I say go for it. If both sets of parents are ok with sharing an anniversary with you too, then it will be really special and make that day that much more memorible.
Posted by eeyring[/QUOTE]

I am confused. You have a date selected but no proposal yet? Are you engaged or not?
<a href="http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:uFy3HjHcBiwJ:talk.theknot.com/BOARDS/ShowPost.aspx%3FPostID%3D62730033+eeyring+knot&cd=4&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us" rel="nofollow">http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:uFy3HjHcBiwJ:talk.theknot.com/BOARDS/ShowPost.aspx%3FPostID%3D62730033+eeyring+knot&cd=4&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us</a>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

A promise ring? You're 17, right? Now I see why you have to wait to get married.

lyndausvi · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-quite-engagedbut-still-excited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:1b9c22de-3d0c-4831-af11-f82b0fe58433Post:f5cf00a6-fe28-48aa-b946-0c8dac6fa8a2">Not Quite Engaged...But Still Excited!</a>:
[QUOTE] I have also told him that I have a date picked out.

What does everyone think...am I crazy for getting this excited and do you think using this date is wrong?
Posted by StefanieMae13[/QUOTE]

I do not think you are crazy for wanting to use that date.

I do however think you are crazy telling your possible future husband that YOU already picked out a date. It really should be talked about between the two of you.

msclvnliz · January 2010

at least you have a ring! mine said "i'm not asking you without a ring" AND "well you know i'm going to marry you. so start planning now." he even picked out a best man...lol

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