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Borrowing a Dress

stephaniesheridanstephaniesheridan member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
A good friend of mine is borrowing the dress I wore to my wedding. A year ago, when I agreed to lend it to her, I did so partly because she told me it would be so special because of our friendship, and she was happy to be wearing a dress that has personal significance. Today, just two weeks before her wedding, (which I am showing up for a week early to help her organize and get ready for), she emailed me and asked if I would not say anything about the dress being mine because she told her family she had bought it.  I wasn't even planning on saying anything in the first place, but why would she want to spin this lie, and then ask me to go along with it? Am I out of line for being miffed about this?
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Re: Borrowing a Dress

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    Lisa8888Lisa8888
    First Comment
    I don't see why this should bother you.
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    FutureMrsTRFutureMrsTR
    First Comment First Anniversary
    A little bit.  You didn't give her conditions on which she could borrow the dress so I would just go along with it for her.
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    felicity and reveriefelicity and reverie member
    First Comment
    If you are expecting your dress back after the wedding, then I would just remind her of that. It would suck if her family thought she had bought the dress and then made their own plans for it post-wedding.
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    laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    First Comment
    She's self conscious about the fact that she's borrowing a dress and not buying one, hence the lie. That's a guess, anyway. Just go along with it to spare her feelings. It really shouldn't matter to you.
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    mwhitson14mwhitson14 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I was going to wear my SIL's wedding gown and had no plans to tell anyone that I hadn't bought it. I wasn't ashamed really; I just didn't need my SIL going around telling everyone it was her dress.

    Nothing to get worked up over.
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    parker624parker624
    First Comment
    I understand you feeling miffed:  she had told you she wanted to wear your dress because it was special to her, and now that she is hiding the fact that it is yours makes it feel a lot less special and important.

    But, I still wouldn't say anything.  Were you making a toast or speech at the RD or wedding and including the fact that you were so honored that she's wearing your dress?  You might want to talk to her about it on the phone or in person before hand, maybe she's just being week before the wedding crazy.
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    JesstasticJesstastic member
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    Maybe she's just embarassed?
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    shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    Yeah, I'm on the pride bandwagon.  She might be embarrassed.
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    L-BrideL-Bride member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_borrowing-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:271aad4e-5fb5-4152-84c4-0fbc5d1be057Post:c6f658b1-ce85-494a-ae3d-bb8f78648db0">Borrowing a Dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]A good friend of mine is borrowing the dress I wore to my wedding. A year ago, when I agreed to lend it to her, I did so partly because she told me it would be so special because of our friendship, and she was happy to be wearing a dress that has personal significance. Today, just two weeks before her wedding, (which I am showing up for a week early to help her organize and get ready for), she emailed me and asked if I would not say anything about the dress being mine because she told her family she had bought it.  I wasn't even planning on saying anything in the first place, <strong>but why would she want to spin this lie, and then ask me to go along with it?</strong> Am I out of line for being miffed about this?
    Posted by stephaniesheridan[/QUOTE]

    She's not asking you to help bury a body and then lie to the cops about it. Just because she's not telling people it's your dress may not make it any less special for her. Like other pps have stated she's most likely a bit self conscious about it. I would just let her tell her white lie and not think about it too much. I'm sure she really appreciates you loaning her the gown.
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    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I agree with PPs - I think she's mostly just a little embarassed.  I can see why you're a little miffed, but try not to make a big deal about this. 
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    salt78salt78 member
    First Comment
    I wouldn't be miffed, but your friend sounds a little shady.
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    september's brideseptember's bride member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I wouldn't be miffed, but I'd have a bit of the WTFs going on. If it was so important to her to borrow YOUR dress because of your great friendship, then she should have no reason to hide it.

    Sounds like she spun a bit of a tale to get you to loan her the dress.
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    stephaniesheridanstephaniesheridan member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_borrowing-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:271aad4e-5fb5-4152-84c4-0fbc5d1be057Post:a8b7b7c8-b4fe-467e-8698-a45d8a4e5ebb">Re: Borrowing a Dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Borrowing a Dress : She's not asking you to help bury a body and then lie to the cops about it. Just because she's not telling people it's your dress may not make it any less special for her. Like other pps have stated she's most likely a bit self conscious about it. I would just let her tell her white lie and not think about it too much. I'm sure she really appreciates you loaning her the gown.
    Posted by L-Bride[/QUOTE]



    I get that it is not the biggest lie in the world, but I was already planning on keeping quiet about it. I feel like it's a big enough favor to loan her the dress, but I think she's asking a lot if she wants me to lie about where it came from. And it's especially weird to me, since I am an up-front person and a terrible liar to begin with.
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    L-BrideL-Bride member
    First Comment

    Yeah, I get it's a bit odd to lie about but it's not completely crazy that she wouldn't want people to know. Just try not to say anything....just lie by omission and change the subject if it comes up. If it's still bothering you after the wedding you can say something to her about you not being comfortable lying about where the dress came from. But until then I would go along with it. GL.

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    stephaniesheridanstephaniesheridan member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_borrowing-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:271aad4e-5fb5-4152-84c4-0fbc5d1be057Post:2fd854dd-73cd-4a60-af6c-0308f9d376c8">Re: Borrowing a Dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Borrowing a Dress : Do you expect a lot of people to be asking you, "where did the bride get her dress?" Sounds like you wanted to do a little AWing that she was wearing your dress.
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]


    Actually, I am expecting people to ask me that, since the story she told everyone was that I found it, sent her a picture, and ordered it so it could be sent to her. We live 600 miles apart, so I guess she was explaining why she didn't get it locally.
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    FutureMrsTRFutureMrsTR
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_borrowing-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:271aad4e-5fb5-4152-84c4-0fbc5d1be057Post:38e6729e-f9bc-4ba8-9dae-35dfd4d67912">Re: Borrowing a Dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Borrowing a Dress : Actually, I am expecting people to ask me that, since the story she told everyone was that I found it, sent her a picture, and ordered it so it could be sent to her. We live 600 miles apart, so I guess she was explaining why she didn't get it locally.
    Posted by stephaniesheridan[/QUOTE]

    Well it sounds like she already explained everything so I don't think you'll have any questions.
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    stephaniesheridanstephaniesheridan member
    First Comment
    Let's hope!
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