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NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?

stellaellastellaella
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I live in an apartment building, and I became close with the sweetest 85 year old man.  He knows I live alone, and about once a week he'll bring me over dinner, lunch or cookies.  He's actually the cutest man in the world.  His apartment balcony faces the parking lot, and he has memorized my class schedule. He meets me on the balcony as I walk to my car, and when I'm in my apartment, or if I go back home on the train, he watches my car to make sure nothing happens to it. 

We went out to lunch a few weeks ago and he briefly alluded to the fact that Christmas is rough because he's on a pension and money is tight. 

Anyway, tonight he brought me over $25 for starbucks, a nice Christmas wreath for my door, and a lovely card. 

What should I get him? I know he's hard up for money. Is a $100 bill tacky? I was going to fib and tell him I won some money at the local casino so the $100 isn't so shocking, and he doesn't feel bad that he only spent $25 on me.

I was also thinking of just getting him a $100 casino chip (he loves to go and spend $5 once a week on the penny slots.)

Is $100 way too much? I don't want him to feel like I'm doing charity work. Should I stick to $25 - $50? WWYD? 
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Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?

  • KentuckyKateKentuckyKate member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2010
    Personally, I think $100 is too much to spend, since he only gave you $25.  I think you should try to stay in the same range.  Even though gift giving is not a tit-for-tat thing, I think there is the possibility he will feel bad about only being able to afford to spend $25 on your gift.

    I also think it is kind of tacky to give people cash for gifts unless it's a wedding or graduation gift, or if it's for a child.

    I would bake him something and get him a small gift like a Yankee Candle set or monogrammed soaps or handtowels.

    ETA: A bottle of wine or a house plant also came to mind.  Or a nice doormat with his initial to go along with the front door prettifying theme?  I don't know...
    Abigail Rose, EDD 6/8/13 BabyFetus Ticker

    Nose Job Blog
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  • stellaellastellaella
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:7cb21d68-c4f6-4287-96d6-53e5f0559439">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The whole situation sounds like he has taken things a bit too far IMO.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    <div>Nah .He's just a sweet, lonely old man. </div>
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  • stellaellastellaella
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:0ce513a9-0b91-465c-9786-7e88a2f552da">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Personally, I think $100 is too much to spend</strong>, since he only gave you $25.  I think you should try to stay in the same range.  Even though gift giving is not a tit-for-tat thing, I think there is the possibility he will feel bad about only being able to afford to spend $25 for your gift. I also think it is kind of tacky to give people cash for gifts unless it's a wedding or graduation gift, or if it's for a child. I would bake him something and get him a small gift like a Yankee Candle set or monogrammed soaps or handtowels. ETA: A bottle of wine or a house plant also came to mind.  Or a nice doormat with his initial to go along with the front door prettifying theme?  I don't know...
    Posted by KentuckyKate[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's what my initial gut reaction was too.  </div><div>
    </div><div>You gave good gift ideas. Thanks!</div>
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  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    What about a gift basket from Hickory Farms or a gift card to the local grocery store or pharmacy where he gets his medications?
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I think you should give him a pair of shoes.  And sign it "from, shoegal"
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  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:3c91cef8-523e-446d-bd46-8eec84b95cf9">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should give him a pair of shoes.  And sign it "from, shoegal"
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    FTW
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  • KentuckyKateKentuckyKate member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:2339522d-913a-4d6f-8715-41f4e4aad7aa">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>What about a gift basket from Hickory Farms </strong>or a gift card to the local grocery store or pharmacy where he gets his medications?
    Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]
    Perfect gift for a senior.  They all love Hickory Farms.  All my grandparents and living great-grandparents send and receive those baskets every year.
    Abigail Rose, EDD 6/8/13 BabyFetus Ticker

    Nose Job Blog
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:3c91cef8-523e-446d-bd46-8eec84b95cf9">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should give him a pair of shoes.  And sign it "from, shoegal"
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    Love it.
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I wouldn't give $100 bill or $100 cash, but I don't think there's anything wrong with spending that much if it's in your budget. How about some sort of gift basket? They make such gorgeous ones filled with all sorts of things -- since you think money's tight for him, maybe choose an Italian themed one that has pasta and sauces and other foods that's a combination of practical and luxury? Or really any basket that has more than just candies in it can be a special way of providing for him with practical things but also a fun element. (Personally I'd stay far far away from things like soaps and candles -- they're such a cliche and at least in my experience, end up being thrown into a drawer, which is a total waste of a present.)
    Report Reply
  • kellyjellybellykellyjellybelly
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:bdbf43fe-8cfd-4d16-9735-d90a94fa4b07">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I <strong>wouldn't give $100 bill or $100 cash,</strong> but I don't think there's anything wrong with spending that much if it's in your budget. How about some sort of gift basket? They make such gorgeous ones filled with all sorts of things -- since you think money's tight for him, maybe choose an Italian themed one that has pasta and sauces and other foods that's a combination of practical and luxury? Or really any basket that has more than just candies in it can be a special way of providing for him with practical things but also a fun element. (Personally I'd stay far far away from things like soaps and candles -- they're such a cliche and at least in my experience, end up being thrown into a drawer, which is a total waste of a present.)
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]
    isn't this the same thing?
    Photobucket
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:8b1ae94c-1041-49f6-ba21-e6a15754f9b8">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas? : isn't this the same thing?
    Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

    Oops, yes it is. I meant to say $100 cash or $100 gift card. The end of a long week...
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:3c91cef8-523e-446d-bd46-8eec84b95cf9">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should give him a pair of shoes.  And sign it "from, shoegal"
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    *Snort*  Dnb's got balls.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
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  • stellaellastellaella
    10 Comments
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:3c91cef8-523e-446d-bd46-8eec84b95cf9">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should give him a pair of shoes.  And sign it "from, shoegal"
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    <div>Save the drama for your mama.</div><div>
    </div><div>I am not shoegal. I actually searched her posts, and now find that insulting . </div><div>
    </div><div>Two law students on an international message board? CASE CLOSED.</div><div>
    </div><div>All the moderator has to do is run the IP addresses of the two profiles to see I'm not full of shiit.  But regardless, I couldn't care less about what strangers on the internet think. You might not either, but I still think you should put your energy towards something productive.</div>
    image
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  • stellaellastellaella
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:c92257d9-d601-4a68-a6c9-a6fed3eb560e">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Stella -- how about a gift card to his favorite restaurant? Everybody has to eat, and everyone likes to eat out. I also think the Hickory Farms basket is a good idea. And maybe something Christmas-y... like an ornament or candle.
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

    <div>He's a widower, so he rarely eats out.  I'm going to go with the Hickory Farms basket. Awesome idea. </div><div>
    </div><div>Re-reading my post, I can see how it came off as hoity toity or like I'm a great humanitarian. I'm actually not. I just have a real soft spot for seniors, and it bothers me that I know he's hurting for cash. </div>
    image
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:81d4a2a4-e79d-4d5e-84a3-0635a9624863">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas? : Save the drama for your mama. I am not shoegal. I actually searched her posts, and now find that insulting .  Two law students on an international message board? CASE CLOSED. All the moderator has to do is run the IP addresses of the two profiles to see I'm not full of shiit.  But regardless, I couldn't care less about what strangers on the internet think. You might not either, but I still think you should put your energy towards something productive.
    Posted by stellaella[/QUOTE]

    <div>Talk about an overreaction.  It was an observation made based on several similarities between the two of you, which I'm sure you read all of them in the other thread to know that you are both law students, and the fact that you showed up right when she disappeared.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I'm pretty sure the mods don't have the power to run IP addresses anyways, and I really makes no difference to me if it's the same IP address or not.  I seriously think you just furthered my point because if you weren't her you wouldn't have over reacted so much, and would have simply said something like "who is shoegal?" or "I don't know what you're talking about."   </div><div>
    </div><div>What energy are you referring to that I should put towards something productive?  It took no energy at all to put two and two together for me, and I actually noticed the similarities from the first few days you started posted.  And for someone not caring about what people on the internet think, clearly you do or you wouldn't have changed the wording in that post after you originally said it.</div>
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  • stellaellastellaella
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-should-neighbor-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59dcd5c0-b8da-454d-ba7a-57450d6cecf9Post:7845fdf4-9ea1-4a7f-bf70-452f64d1c385">Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: What should I get my neighbor for Christmas? : Talk about an overreaction.  It was an observation made based on several similarities between the two of you, which I'm sure you read all of them in the other thread to know that you are both law students, and the fact that you showed up right when she disappeared.   I'm pretty sure the mods don't have the power to run IP addresses anyways, and I really makes no difference to me if it's the same IP address or not.  I seriously think you just furthered my point because if you weren't her you wouldn't have over reacted so much, and would have simply said something like "who is shoegal?" or "I don't know what you're talking about."    What energy are you referring to that I should put towards something productive?  It took no energy at all to put two and two together for me, and I actually noticed the similarities from the first few days you started posted.  And for someone not caring about what people on the internet think, clearly you do or you wouldn't have changed the wording in that post after you originally said it.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't think I overacted, but therein lies the problem of the internet: tone and intentions can be misconstrued.  A rude assumption was made about me, and I tried to set the record straight.  I actually thought about not even bothering to respond, because I knew it would only turn into this.</div><div>
    </div>
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  • mandysmearmandysmear member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

    "It's shart week." -georgiabride
    "This post is seriously retarded." -Stackeye210
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    Miss
    Mrs & ZOMG we built a howse!
    being healthy. blog.
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