WWYD? Old friend not invited to wedding..

2010Bride2be · July 2011

I'm wondering if you ladies can help me with a situation. Be totally honest with me, I can take it.

So I was friends with this girl since grade school through highschool. We played sports together, vacationed together, etc. However when college rolled around, we eventually lost touch with eachother. It was no big deal. We just went our seperate ways. Of course, with the start of Myspace and now Facebook, we 'friended' eachother and have spoken on occasion over the last few years.

I saw her 3 years ago when she came to MD to visit for my birthday and it was awkward. Honestly, we're just 2 different people. I saw her again the following year, when she came to my parent's house for another birthday party. I haven't spoken to her since. Again, nothing bad happened...just life happened.

Last Wednesday she called my parents' house and left a message to ask if she could come to their house and go swimming. WTF? Who does that? Then she starts texting me asking me where my parents are (my mom was with me getting wedding stuff done). I told her that we were busy. She then proceeded to invite herself to my parents' pool again. I again told her that no one was home and that we were busy.

She has been texting me NON-STOP since then.She wants to know how we've been and what's been going on. I don't know if she knows about the wedding. It's an awkward situation b/c she's not invited. What would you say to her? It kind of feels like an invasion of space and she just won't go away. I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't feel like dodging texts for the next week. WWYD??

ETA: She doesn't know about the wedding. She just text me again asking how I was doing and if I was engaged yet or had any babies on the way. WTF MAN!!!

2010Bride2be · July 2011

BTW...There were paragraphs there when I typed it out. Darn Knot jammed it all together again!

alpresberry · July 2011

IMO she definitely knows about the wedding and that's why she is trying to have her presence felt as of late. Texting, emails etc.can be easily misinterpreted, so I would give her a call, besides avoiding it will probably make it worse (although it doesn't seem like that matters much to you...lol). Either way, she will probably not be happy about it, but you will have done your part and at least addressed the situation and stop her from nagging you.

chescam · July 2011

I really think she knows about the wedding. I think at this point she knows she's not invited too. You're wedding is just about a week away. If you tell her she's not invited or she finds out you had your wedding without her, she'll be hurt either way. Seems like she's calliing you get some details. I would take her call and find out what she's really up to.

Kedeisha8 · July 2011

Maybe she just want to reconnect with you yes it may seem pushy as when i read it it seems as if she just pop back up n everything is suppose to be cool n some people need a warm up but she seems to want to get back into the swing of things

If u are one of those people that can pick up n move on go for it but if u need a warm up just start "dating" her again until u get over those awkwardness

2010Bride2be · July 2011

I understand what you ladies are saying. On one hand, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but on the other hand, I'm like I don't have time for this.

empegues · July 2011

I agree with the ladies above... she definitely knows about the wedding and she's trying to see your family and talk to you to find out details. It seems like people come out of the woodwork when it's time for invites to go out. You don't really owe her an explaination about your wedding and why she's not invited, but at the same time you're grown and don't need to be ducking and dodging either, lol.

I'd just text her back and say, "yep, I'm engaged and getting married next week. Maybe we can catch up and you can go swimming in a few weeks after the wedding madness had died down. Talk to you soon. Holla"

simbidi · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wwyd-old-friend-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:6ee3d300-e61c-4ff6-bd92-bcad954de201Post:26c184c3-9c78-4ce1-80e6-570b94624e35">Re: WWYD? Old friend not invited to wedding..</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong> I'd just text her back and say, "yep, I'm engaged and getting married next week. Maybe we can catch up and you can go swimming in a few weeks after the wedding madness had died down. Talk to you soon. Holla" :)</strong>
Posted by empegues[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS IS PERFECT!!!!!</div>

Soon2BSand · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wwyd-old-friend-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:6ee3d300-e61c-4ff6-bd92-bcad954de201Post:26c184c3-9c78-4ce1-80e6-570b94624e35">Re: WWYD? Old friend not invited to wedding..</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with the ladies above... she definitely knows about the wedding and she's trying to see your family and talk to you to find out details. It seems like people come out of the woodwork when it's time for invites to go out. You don't really owe her an explaination about your wedding and why she's not invited, but at the same time you're grown and don't need to be ducking and dodging either, lol. I'd just text her back and say, <strong>"yep, I'm engaged and getting married next week. Maybe we can catch up and you can go swimming in a few weeks after the wedding madness had died down. Talk to you soon. Holla</strong>" :)
Posted by empegues[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Why though? She doesn't want to be bothered with her so IMO just don't be bothered with her.</div><div>
</div><div>I wouldn't dodge nary a text but then again I'm EXTREMELY direct. I'd say exactly what I feel. I mean what's the point in coddling her? What is there to lose? A non existent friend?</div><div>
</div><div>Chile boom. LOL

</div>

empegues · July 2011

Soon2BSand, I agree that being super direct is usually the best policy. But it seems like since there wasn't a falling out she might not want to diss her outright lol. If it were me I'd text her back for no other reason than to communicate that she doesn't need to be harassing my parents! I'm the kind of person that I don't like it when people try to "go around" me to find out about my business....

Segue into a short story: Me and my fiance used to work together, I left but he's still at that company. Last night when he was at a work function some ladies that I was not cool with when I worked there tried to cosy up to him and find out the scoop about where I work now and our engagement/wedding. My FI shut them down and said "Why don't you call her up, I'm sure she'd love to chat." LMAO! They got these crazy looks on their faces because they know dang well we don't talk and they were sick because they realized he wasn't giving out any info!

Ok, back to the topic..

Fabbiegirl · July 2011

I agree with the ladies above. 1. She wants to know about the wedding from you. 2. She wants to reconnect with you. Have you two actually had a catch-up session on your lives yet? When you gals reconnecte before, did you realize you did not like her or was it just that you two grew apart? If it's the latter, you can reconnect, and that may be what she is doing. Maybe she realized that you are getting married and wasn't important enough to be invited and wants to be an actual friend again.

I really don't think she is thinking that she is trying to get close just to go to the wedding. She may be interested in you.

So, I wouldn't do anything you are not comfortable doing. If you want to rekindle the friendship, do so on your own pace. If not, talk to her and just ask why the sudden surge of interest in me. When you get her answer, respond from there.

2010Bride2be · July 2011

All of you have great answers?! Why didn't I check the board sooner??? I text her back and just told her that 'Everything and everyone is fine, just busy. I'm in meetings for the rest of the day, but I'll try and touch base with you soon'.

Yes, I lied. **smacks my own hand**

If she texts me again with the same questions, I will be direct with her like Soon2BSand and Simbidi said. I need to be honest and it's just causing more headache ducking and dodging.

Soon2BSand · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wwyd-old-friend-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:6ee3d300-e61c-4ff6-bd92-bcad954de201Post:6fe8070b-d270-406b-aa08-f89af6914f51">Re: WWYD? Old friend not invited to wedding..</a>:
[QUOTE]All of you have great answers?! Why didn't I check the board sooner??? I text her back and just told her that 'Everything and everyone is fine, just busy. I'm in meetings for the rest of the day, but I'll try and touch base with you soon'. Yes, I lied. **smacks my own hand** If she texts me again with the same questions, I will be direct with her like Soon2BSand and Simbidi said.<strong> I need to be honest and it's just causing more headache ducking and dodging.</strong>
Posted by 2010Bride2be[/QUOTE]
THIS here.

pinkcottoncandy7 · July 2011

She knew you since gradeschool..thats a bg deal. She probably is feeling nostalgic and wants to hear the 411 from you. Just tell her. She might not expect to come she might expect to come but after all those hours playing Barbie wedding together you could at least tell her about your real one. Just say what the PP said but add when you come for a swim I will show you the pictures that way she'll know she won't be seeing it in person. As a side note: a a life long friend is hard to come by its kinda nice!

WWYD? Old friend not invited to wedding..

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