Wedding Party

Waiting on a woman

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Re: Waiting on a woman

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:0a8eba9f-e7fd-48cc-9024-e991a1a8c48e">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yay!  I was hoping you would show up here, kmmssg!
    Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

    I was hoping for her to show and am still hoping Avion spots this one.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Yeah, where is Avion?  Hope she can join us soon.  What time is it in the UK?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:821fb4ad-7fad-40ca-9f9e-047871d858c3">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, where is Avion?  Hope she can join us soon.  What time is it in the UK?
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    7:15
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • OP - why don't you take these opinions and statements of yours for a spin on the Military Brides page.  See if even just one of the service women agrees with you (it's not just "military wives" there). Go ahead.  I dare you.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • There's also a Military board on the Nest, where quite a few of the posters are active servicemembers.  Please take your chest-thumping and sense of entitlement over there, too, and see how well it goes over.
  • My Grandfather served in World War II, and he was the most respectful, kind, and decent man anyone has ever met. He knew how many sacrafices my grandmother made to be his wife, and treated her and his family like gold. In fact, I honored him at my wedding because he taught me how important family is. OP, he'd be ashamed of you and how you are representing modern military.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:6ef6abe3-7be1-4f10-97ed-c3b5bb4ed34e">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]To be honest the wedding is just a performance my marriage is what actually counts. So yes planning on having 4 beautiful woman that I love may seem like theyre just gorgeous props but lets be honest every girl has some friends she's closer with than others, if I had every friend in my wedding party it would look a little silly. Everyone narrows down their bridesmaids I'm just brutally honest about how I did it.
    Posted by MeganMichele1989[/QUOTE]

    Wow. How disgusting. Good luck to your groom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:ebf4a1c0-981a-44cf-ac0f-e189f06da066">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]Huh.  I guess my Navy husband was wrong then when he said he'd be fine only having two groomsmen when I was having four bridesmaids.  I'll tell him that when I get home tonight.  Maybe we'll have a PPD so we can get pictures with the military-approved symmetry!
    Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]

    I think his commanding officer needs to be alerted of this serious breech.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • It's disgusting that anyone would try to use military service as an excuse for selfish and hateful behavior.

    You should be ashamed of yourself.  (Not that I think you're real.  You're pretty obviously a troll.)
  • Geesh.. don't you guys think you might be being a little hard on her. Doesn't matter if your military or not in my mind, if symmetry is in important to you than it is important to you.. make sure your sides are even.. it's yours and your spouses' wedding! My sides won't be.. but it isn't important to me.. some people it is important to. That's okay!  I don't agree with the military comments and all that jazz. or neccessarily the poor choice of wording being used when referring to your wedding party and the wedding itself...but I do agree that the wedding is not neccessarily what is important, it is the marriage itself..   but to get back to what you were actually asking advice on..  Sounds like you have a little time before your wedding, if I were you I would give her some time (preferably a couple months) and ask her if it is possible to know by then if she would be able to make it. You don't have to say it is because you want to replace her in the wedding party.. say it is taking a head count.. ask her if she has a date if that applies.. tell her your working on seating.. whatever! Hopefully she can let you know by then and you can go by there if you feel it is still appropriate that you can ask the other girl, go ahead. I still have a potential bridesmaid i may or may not ask to be in my wedding because well, it is a newer friendship but we have become fast friends, and I personally think it is okay to see where a newer friendship is going first.. I know she would be honored to b a bm but also good with being a guest and not expect it. Some people aren't going to mind at all being asked later , (obviously I say try to tell the potential new bridesmaid at least like 5 mos b4,) but I don't really see a problem with that, if even sides are imporant to you. (military or not)
    And as far as being a younger bride.. if that is indeed what the year stands for..  Congrats to you for finding your hubby to be early on :)   (and no i'm not 23 despite my name.. it's my fiance's and my day of the month we were born)
  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:9677c87e-4be1-49fd-9c14-d261900f2290">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]Geesh.. don't you guys think you might be being a little hard on her. Doesn't matter if your military or not in my mind, if symmetry is in important to you than it is important to you.. make sure your sides are even.. it's yours and your spouses' wedding! My sides won't be.. but it isn't important to me.. some people it is important to. That's okay!  I don't agree with the military comments and all that jazz. or neccessarily the poor choice of wording being used when referring to your wedding party and the wedding itself...but I do agree that the wedding is not neccessarily what is important, it is the marriage itself..   but to get back to what you were actually asking advice on..  Sounds like you have a little time before your wedding, if I were you I would give her some time (preferably a couple months) and ask her if it is possible to know by then if she would be able to make it. You don't have to say it is because you want to replace her in the wedding party.. say it is taking a head count.. ask her if she has a date if that applies.. tell her your working on seating.. whatever! Hopefully she can let you know by then and you can go by there if you feel it is still appropriate that you can ask the other girl, go ahead. I still have a potential bridesmaid i may or may not ask to be in my wedding because well, it is a newer friendship but we have become fast friends, and I personally think it is okay to see where a newer friendship is going first.. I know she would be honored to b a bm but also good with being a guest and not expect it. Some people aren't going to mind at all being asked later , (obviously I say try to tell the potential new bridesmaid at least like 5 mos b4,) but I don't really see a problem with that, if even sides are imporant to you. (military or not) And as far as being a younger bride.. if that is indeed what the year stands for..  Congrats to you for finding your hubby to be early on :)   (and no i'm not 23 despite my name.. it's my fiance's and my day of the month we were born)
    Posted by 23BRIDE2B[/QUOTE]

    No.  If you want to be anal retentive about having even sides then own up to it.  Don't say it is because symmetry is important to the miitary and if any military person doesn't understand that then there is something wrong with them andplusalso the opinions of military wives and kids don't count because they don't know what they are talking about.  That's what people are pissed about.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:9677c87e-4be1-49fd-9c14-d261900f2290">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]Geesh.. don't you guys think you might be being a little hard on her. Doesn't matter if your military or not in my mind, if symmetry is in important to you than it is important to you.. make sure your sides are even.. it's yours and your spouses' wedding! My sides won't be.. but it isn't important to me.. some people it is important to. That's okay!  I don't agree with the military comments and all that jazz. or neccessarily the poor choice of wording being used when referring to your wedding party and the wedding itself...but I do agree that the wedding is not neccessarily what is important, it is the marriage itself..   but to get back to what you were actually asking advice on..  Sounds like you have a little time before your wedding, if I were you I would give her some time (preferably a couple months) and ask her if it is possible to know by then if she would be able to make it. You don't have to say it is because you want to replace her in the wedding party.. say it is taking a head count.. ask her if she has a date if that applies.. tell her your working on seating.. whatever! Hopefully she can let you know by then and you can go by there if you feel it is still appropriate that you can ask the other girl, go ahead. I still have a potential bridesmaid i may or may not ask to be in my wedding because well, it is a newer friendship but we have become fast friends, and I personally think it is okay to see where a newer friendship is going first.. I know she would be honored to b a bm but also good with being a guest and not expect it. Some people aren't going to mind at all being asked later , (obviously I say try to tell the potential new bridesmaid at least like 5 mos b4,) but I don't really see a problem with that, if even sides are imporant to you. (military or not) And as far as being a younger bride.. if that is indeed what the year stands for..  Congrats to you for finding your hubby to be early on :)   (and no i'm not 23 despite my name.. it's my fiance's and my day of the month we were born)
    Posted by 23BRIDE2B[/QUOTE]

    Please read the entire thread before posting. If you had read, you would have seen a lot of derogatory and nasty things that the OP had said to make people tell her to take a long walk off a short peir.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:46d59b54-2e58-4b6c-a73e-0023b57120a2">Re:Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]What I don't get is if OP thinks her friends will totally understand and even expect this of her, why doesn't the B list BM know she's B list?
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Maybe the B list BM is a civilian so she won't be smart enough to figure it out.  Maybe kinda how OP feels about military spouses?

    </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:9677c87e-4be1-49fd-9c14-d261900f2290">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]but I do agree that the wedding is not neccessarily what is important, it is the marriage itself..
    Posted by 23BRIDE2B[/QUOTE]

    And yet you're here planning a wedding. It obviously is important to you on some level, or you would just go to the courthouse with only your witnesses and take care of the paperwork.

    I agree that the wedding is <em>less</em> important than the actual marriage, but that doesn't mean a wedding ceremony is meaningless, particularly if it is a religious ceremony.  In the Catholic Church, for example, you will not be recognized as a married couple if you don't follow specific procedures and have a ceremony in the Church that includes specific elements.

    I have no problem with people who forgo the traditional big wedding- as I mentioned earlier, I did that myself.  What I take issue with is OP's expectation that people will take time out of their lives to come to her wedding and spend money on travel and gifts, and that her bridesmaids will have to spend money to be treated like employees rather than friends for what OP has admitted is a dog and pony show.  Oh, and also her presumptuousness in speaking for all who have served in the military and thinking her service gives her a free pass to throw common courtesy out the window.
  • Since your BM who's undecided is in the military, she must understand this anal retention regarding symmetry. Why not just drop her from the WP, since she's most likely to understand, and then you can have your b list civilian BM outright. If military BM does end being able to attend, surely she will understand why she's no longer welcome to stand up with you. ::sarcasm::

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-on-a-woman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:baca0756-be3b-416b-a4de-7397da64da21Post:9677c87e-4be1-49fd-9c14-d261900f2290">Re: Waiting on a woman</a>:
    [QUOTE]Geesh.. don't you guys think you might be being a little hard on her. Doesn't matter if your military or not in my mind, if symmetry is in important to you than it is important to you.. make sure your sides are even.. it's yours and your spouses' wedding! My sides won't be.. but it isn't important to me.. some people it is important to. That's okay!  I don't agree with the military comments and all that jazz. <strong>or neccessarily the poor choice of wording being used when referring to your wedding party and the wedding itself</strong>...but I do agree that the wedding is not neccessarily what is important, it is the marriage itself..   but to get back to what you were actually asking advice on..  Sounds like you have a little time before your wedding, if I were you I would give her some time (preferably a couple months) and ask her if it is possible to know by then if she would be able to make it. You don't have to say it is because you want to replace her in the wedding party.. say it is taking a head count.. ask her if she has a date if that applies.. tell her your working on seating.. whatever! Hopefully she can let you know by then and you can go by there if you feel it is still appropriate that you can ask the other girl, go ahead. I still have a potential bridesmaid i may or may not ask to be in my wedding because well, it is a newer friendship but we have become fast friends, and I personally think it is okay to see where a newer friendship is going first.. I know she would be honored to b a bm but also good with being a guest and not expect it. Some people aren't going to mind at all being asked later , (obviously I say try to tell the potential new bridesmaid at least like 5 mos b4,) but I don't really see a problem with that, if even sides are imporant to you. (military or not) And as far as being a younger bride.. if that is indeed what the year stands for..  Congrats to you for finding your hubby to be early on :)   (and no i'm not 23 despite my name.. it's my fiance's and my day of the month we were born)
    Posted by 23BRIDE2B[/QUOTE]

    It was not a "poor choice of words." OP went into detail about how her WP were merely props and how her wedding is a performance.

    I wont even get into all of the OPs ignorant comments about the members of the military or theirs spouses because it makes me too angry.

    But it seems the OP has run away once active military and vets came on the thread.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • For the helpful bit of advise... Ask your girl to get the BM dress, then IF she can make it on the day, she's a BM, if she can't make it, then she's an absent BM. But you won't do that, because y'know, even sides an crap. Yuk.
    So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
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