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Massachusetts-Boston

friend who is a photographer

Hi everyone!

This is my first time posting... I'm getting married in August of 2012.  I have a friend who is a SUPER talented photographer - I love her work!  She's also my friend so I'm torn on what to do - hire or her or just invite her to come celebrate.  I sent her a quick email that basically said "we love you, you're our friend first but if you want the job it's yours, it's your call."  I didn't want her to feel insulted if we decided to get another photographer without at least offering it to her first.  She responded with "You're SO sweet! Honestly, I'll have fun either way so it's totally up to you! It's neat being a part of the day and spending extra time with you both to do the photos, and I'm sure your wedding is going to be a blast so it will be fun to be there as a guest. There is always some down time in taking the photos to sit and relax so I'd still be able to see everyone and enjoy."

So basically the ball is back in my court... she's really laid back and is good either way... what do I do? Thank you in advance!
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Re: friend who is a photographer

  • edited December 2011
    I would go with someone else.  Things can get very tricky when using friends as vendors.

    It sounds like she is very nice and understanding.  I guess if it was me I would want my friend to be a guest and maybe use her services for an engagement shoot or something fun.
  • edited December 2011
    My dear friend is also a great photographer, but we ended up hiring a stranger.  I really wanted my friend to just enjoy herself, and I did not want to risk the friendship.  I learned the hard way years ago that when you start to mix friendship with professional services, it doesn't always end well.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree- go with someone else. First off, if there are any issues you don't want things to become awkward. Second, you want your photographer 100% focused on your wedding, not on seeing old friends. We had several friends who are talented photographers but we didn't hire any of them. One of our groomsmen is a great photographer and we convinced him to leave his camera at home. I think in the end he was thankful- he loves taking photos but he was able to really enjoy dancing and drinking and hanging out with everyone. There was no pressure on him to take shots.

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  • rachmezzrachmezz member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you!  That's what I was thinking but I figured I'd get some other opinions... she's already done an engagement shoot with us :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I was in the same boat, but we hired an outside photographer.  One of my sorority sisters is an amazing photographer, but I wanted her to enjoy the day.  My mom keeps asking why I didn't hire her (cost savings) but I just said I don't want to mix business and friendship. 
     She also offered  to get to the site early to shoot the room before people get in there, and she'll be the official friend photographer that day.  She just did it for a friend's wedding last weekend, and the pics are fantastic. 
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  • HockeyFan4HockeyFan4 member
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    edited December 2011
    several of my friends are professional photographers....and so we asked them for recommendations....and we hired a wonderful photographer through one of their recs..... they said they plan on bringing their cameras as they always have them...but will be taking pics like other guests...and having fun like other guests :)
  • rachmezzrachmezz member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! I'm still really torn because she sent an email the other day that basically says she would love to do it, etc. She's a HS friend of my FI. A friend of mine (who doesn't know her) read the email and said that is seems like she really wants to do it and to be a part of the day- she said she would bring a 2nd photographer for the reception photos and that she really wants to be able to capture the moments all day. Oy!
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