Church/Reception Time

Stephanie.Sabato · October 2010

Hi Ladies!

My fiance and I are disagreeing about what time to begin the ceremony/reception. In my culture (Italian) guests come to the church in more casual clothes, go home and relax/change and then go to the reception. In his culture (Greek) guests go from the church straight to the reception. My concern is that so much money is being spent that I do not want to miss any part of our wedding (including missing cocktail hour because we are taking pics). I would like our ceremony to start at 1 or 2 and reception to begin at 5.

What do you guys think??

Bat937 · October 2010

IMO it's rude to have a huge break inbetween the ceremony and reception.
I would just not go to the ceremony in that case unless it was less than 10 minutes from my house.

Our ceremony started at 4:30 and the reception started at 6.

Most guests will come to the ceremony in their reception clothes.
I have heard of instances where the church dictates time of cereomy which causes a long gap between ceremonya nd reception. In that case, the bride & groom usually provdide cocktails or coffee or something for the guests to do in between.

kristinanddan · October 2010

I think that would be rude. Not everyone will be close enough to go home after the ceremony - what are they supposed to do? We got stuck at a wedding one time where the ceremony was at the reception site, but due to scheduling issues on the bride and groom's part, there was a 3 hour gap before the reception started - it was AWFUL!

Midgette · October 2010

Our church was at 2(the lastest time the church would allow us) and cocktail hour was at 6.

Most guests from both sides that traveled far and came to the church, went to my parents house, where my parents had coffee, cocktails and some pickings.

Others went home to change if they didnt live far.

Others didnt come to church, because of the gap, which was fine by me.

Others went to a local bar and restaurant.

chrisnjay2010 · October 2010

Our church was 330 and our cocktail was 7pm. Since it was a Friday this allowed for extra travel time because of traffic and for guests to check in at the hotel as the hotel was closer to the reception. Our church and reception were about 40 mins away. Most of our guests that came to the church followed on to the hotel and then the reception. We had a mix of locals and those that had to travel alittle. It didn't seem to pose a problem. Those that didnt want to deal with the time gap didn't come to the church and that was fine by me.

Maybe compromise and make the ceremony at 2pm, that lessens it a bit.

kristinanddan · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_churchreception-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:64831b7e-b637-4350-bca6-edbec82b7fa4Post:58174d3d-ae7c-410d-b735-5bb47b8badb0">Re: Church/Reception Time</a>:
[QUOTE]Our church was at 2(the lastest time the church would allow us) and cocktail hour was at 6. <strong>Most guests from both sides that traveled far and came to the church, went to my parents house, where my parents had coffee, cocktails and some pickings.</strong> Others went home to change if they didnt live far. Others didnt come to church, because of the gap, which was fine by me. Others went to a local bar and restaurant.
Posted by Midgette[/QUOTE]

I should have mentioned that if you can do something like this, I don't think it's rude at all. I just think it's rude to leave guests with nothing to do.

Riss91 · October 2010

I think as long as you assist your guests in finding aplace to go in-between, and you are clear on your invite what the start times of the ceremony and reception are, you are fine. We had about an hour and half gap in-between. We included information in the programs about where people could go to get a drink/snack/freshen up in between. Almost 80% were staying at the hotel and used that time to check-in. You could also rent a hospitality suite at a hotel.

If I were you, I'd try to keep the gap to 2 hrs or less. I think anything more than that is a bit much, even if you have something set-up for your guests.

Midgette · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_churchreception-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:64831b7e-b637-4350-bca6-edbec82b7fa4Post:8304c45c-c4c6-4efc-b0cc-46da2f2924e2">Re: Church/Reception Time</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church/Reception Time : I should have mentioned that if you can do something like this, I don't think it's rude at all. I just think it's rude to leave guests with nothing to do.
Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

<div>U are 100% right, leaving them with nothing especially if they arent from the area is just wrong, I think my parents had like 30 people at the house, and at the church they were telling the rest that didnt know about it to go over there. My house was 10 min from the church and 5 min from the reception hall.</div>

TerriandJoe · October 2010

We had a 2:30 ceremony (full mass) and our cocktail hour began at 5pm.

The way I see it, we didn't have a gap, others people (especially on the knot) would say we had an hour.

(I will admit, there was an hour in between, but when I hear the term "gap" I usually think of three plus hour gaps that some girls, including my sister had.)

In any case, it didn't matter.Our church was about 10 minutes from the reception hall. So there was plenty of places people could go if they wanted too.

But I think that most just took leisurely time getting from the church to the reception, used the restroom to freshen up or whatever. A few went home, but only those that had a reason too. (Some changed, one checked on their kid, I think one couple might have checked into the hotel)

I think that in your case, the bigger issue is how long between ceremony and reception, how far away are they and can the guests make good use of their time if they aren't from the area.

The other girls gave some good ideas. But because we had so little time in between, to attempt to orchestrate snacks at my parents or snacks at a bar would have just been too confusing and would have thrown off the schedule of the rest of the day.

If however, you are getting married in a hick town with prairie dust as far as the eyes can see and your reception is a half hour away with absolutely nothing for guests to notice along the way, and you have to have three hours in between, then an "activity" might be nice.

Or a shuttle, that way the guests staying at the hotel can check in and relax before heading to your reception.

But even here, a three hour gap can be frustrating for people not from the area.

Why not a 2:30 ceremony? It would definitely be started by 2:40ish. And by time it was all over and you are leaving the church it would be close to 4:00.

That gives an hour to get to the reception. How far apart are they. If they are more than a half hour, you could have your 2pm ceremony and it would still only leave an hour "gap" because time would be spent driving to the reception site.

Meaning your guests only have an hour to kill. (They could wander CVS for an hour if they had too)

Having an hour to kill is doable, three or four hours is a bit much and a lot of people probably would be annoyed with having that much time in between, unless the checking in to the hotel is an option.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

PS - check and make sure that your venue will allow a 5pm reception

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