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Conflict picking my photographer

So I have a good friend who happens to be a professional photographer. She takes really good pictures and her style is really broad. I really would like to pick her and since we're such a good friends (we've been friends since we were 8) she really wants to do my wedding. My fiance has a friend who has a hobby in photography. I don't really like her pictures that well, her style seems really limited. My fiance is really pushing for his friend. He's getting very hurt over this. He says he wants some of his friends involved. Most of my family and friends are involved because the weddings in my hometown and he's from across the country. I don't want this to be a fight but I want pictures I like. He brought up having 2 photographers. Is this weird? What should I do? Any suggestions?

Re: Conflict picking my photographer

  • drphotodrphoto member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Have his hobbyist friend 2nd shoot for the pro.  Arrange this through the pro.  Alternative 1:   Have the hobbyist run a photobooth.  Total fun.  This would need to be cleared by the pro.  Alternative 2: Keep your friends as friends and hire a real pro.

    Corey Schwartz
    www.desertridgephotography.com
  • ceeceed80ceeceed80 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, I would probably pick a neutral photographer. Not only for the sake of saving the argument and your fiance's hurt feelings but also for your relationship with your friend. you never know what could happen and it's not worth losing or hurting a friendship over something. 

    also, most photographers have clauses in their contracts that don't allow you to 'hire' two photographers... 

    but i agree... your photos should be top priority. 
  • edited December 2011
    Well, I think that if the second person just does it as a hobby (and you don't pay) then you aren't "hiring" another photographer.  I think the professional, neutral one (if you go that route) wouldn't mind so much if they were from out of town and wouldn't ever be competition.

    I'm actually planning on having a friend who wants to get into photography do some of it but still hiring a professional.  We'll see if they allow it, but I want my friend to maybe focus on more candids and fun stuff during the reception and I don't want to have to pay the photographer to stick around for the full 5 hours. 

    Worst case scenario get your person to do pre-ceremony and ceremony and then your FI's person to do the reception?  Dancing pictures should be easier to get.


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  • edited December 2011
    There are going to be *seven* photographers at my wedding. Out of 28 guests, total. All of them are close friends of mine, and most of them are close friends with each other. I am very, very lucky to be getting away with this, and we're doing it in such a way that minimizes hurt feelings.

    One of them, T., has been a friend much longer than any of the others, and is very, very talented. So I made him the "official" photographer, with a tag to boot. All of the rest get to knock themselves out, but they aren't the "official" one. What is allowing me to do this are a couple of particular facts, which don't seem to apply to your situation: all of the photographers know each other (we've done a couple of cross-country trips for photography as a group), and all of them know the situation. All of them know that T. is the "official" photographer, and that nobody gets to pester him, or get in his way. He gets all of the choice shots he wants, because i've known him almost half my life and we've been shooting together since we were fifteen. But I also can NOT wait to see what everybody else comes up with - and they know that, too.  (the end of the night we're going to do a photo critique. We're weird.)

    I would not "hire" one photographer while encouraging the other to just take photos as though he is a professional, and hope both of them just "get along," or that the professional would "understand." I WOULD say to the one that you do not choose that you look forward to seeing what they get from a guest perspective. To make that decision, I would sit down with the portfolios from both of them, and talk them through as though you were making the choice to hire one or the other. Leave emotions out of it, and make a point of commenting on things you like in each, as far as the style is concerned. Talk about what you don't like, again, leaving emotions out of it. Forget his side or her side or whatever - what you want is to be able to come away with the best photographer to do what you want. What you do NOT want to do is mislead them in any way. Photographers are frighteningly territorial at times, and I'm being a brat and getting my way on this one only because all of them understand this fact. Perhaps it might be time to also look for jobs for others of his friends? or have his friend set up a photo booth while the official photographer does the standard reception stuff (Most of my photog friends consider the photo booth a separate job, and expect someone else to be hired in for it)
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Conflict picking my photographer:
    [QUOTE]Well, I think that if the second person just does it as a hobby (and you don't pay) then you aren't "hiring" another photographer.  I think the professional, neutral one (if you go that route) wouldn't mind so much if they were from out of town and wouldn't ever be competition. I'm actually planning on having a friend who wants to get into photography do some of it but still hiring a professional.  We'll see if they allow it, but I want my friend to maybe focus on more candids and fun stuff during the reception and I don't want to have to pay the photographer to stick around for the full 5 hours.  Worst case scenario get your person to do pre-ceremony and ceremony and then your FI's person to do the reception?  Dancing pictures should be easier to get.
    Posted by Jetur20[/QUOTE]

    That is where you are 100% WRONG.  Professional photographer's DO mind that other's take pictures while they are also taking pictures...and NOT because it's "competition" but because of FLASH INTERFERENCE.  During a Ceremony Professional photographer don't want other's taking pictures because flashes from other camera's can interfere with the shots that the hired photographer is trying to get.....especially for indoor ceremonies.  A lot of Photographer's even have it in the contract that no one else can take pictures during the Ceremony...photographer's are ok with the reception part though.

    Now to actually answer the original question....I agree with PP that if you really want to have one of the 2 friends do it sit down with their portfolio and go with who's best.  This is an important day for you and you want the best photographer you can get to capture your special day, although it may hurt your friends feelings you need to think about your own and go with what you like.  If you want to avoid confilict altogether hire someone that's not your friend for just the ceremony and then have you're friends shoot the reception(both of them).
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  • PeacefieldPeacefield member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Conflict picking my photographer:
    [QUOTE]That is where you are 100% WRONG.  Professional photographer's DO mind that other's take pictures while they are also taking pictures...and NOT because it's "competition" but because of FLASH INTERFERENCE[/QUOTE]

    Actually, if you don't mind the correction, it's not owing to flash interference.  Flash durations are only 1/200 of a second; the odds of a flash going off during the same fraction of a second that the primary photographer takes a picture are crazy small.  The issue , as expressed by our photographer, is that people look away.  You end up with a group portrait where half the people aren't looking into the pro's camera, they're looking at Aunt Tillie holding her point and shoot 5 feet off to the side.

    With the right photographer, there may be no issue with having the two, especially since they're both friends of yours.  They'll just need to coordinate a bit.  One does the groom's preparations while the other does yours, different angles during the ceremony, it may even speed up group shots, and there's no reason why they should be in each other's way at the reception.

    The other alternative may be to sit with your FI's friend and see if there isn't something they can do to more fully accomodate the style you're looking for.
  • edited December 2011
    You need to pick the one who can do the best job. Just because someone is a photographer doesn't mean they're a good photographer; you need to remind your fiancee that the wedding photos are the only lasting impression of the wedding day and that he needs to take emotion OUT of picking a photographer. 

    If he can't agree, then use neither of your friends and hire a different professional. 
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