Didn't know exactly where to post...rsvp opinion?

sdeluna08 · May 2012

I sent my invitations out about 3 weeks ago and put the rsvp deadline as May 20th. I know there is still time and I probably shouldn't be worrying, but I just don't understand what is so difficult about sending back pre-addressed, already stamped rsvp. What I'm really worried about is that we are not having a choice of entrees (we're doing a duo of chicken and beef instead) and I feel like people will think there's no need to rsvp if they don't need to tell us their choice. I won't start bugging people about whether or not they are coming, but should I be worrying that I won't get rsvps back? How long did it take to get most of them back for you guys?

J&K10910 · May 2012

I got more than 50% of mine back in the couple days before and after the RSVP date. We had to call quite a few people still, and it's certainly annoying, but people just suck at RSVPing. I let it bother me, and it ended up being one more thing to stress about that I didn't need. Just assume you'll have to call people, assume you'll get a bunch in the few days before and week after the RSVP date, and try to relax a little about it for now.

brittneyh4 · May 2012

Don't worry about it yet, you have plenty of time. We sent ours a couple weeks ago with a June 2nd RSVP date, and I still have over half not sent back/responded. Wait until May 20th and then start calling people to get an answer/entree choice. It won't be rude to do so.

Simply Fated · May 2012

There is seriously plenty of time.
Some people might not be sure, yet. Others might just be procrastinating. As big as a priority as your wedding is to you, it's just not that big of a priority to other people, so rsvping might not be at the top of their to-do list. They'll get around to it. And, if not, you can make some phone calls. Enjoy these days until the deadline.

Viczaesar · May 2012

Your RSVP date isn't until May 20, and your wedding itself isn't until June 23. That's almost two months away. A lot of people aren't going to know yet if they're available.

Kristin789 · May 2012

Well, your guests have been to many, many weddings and all of those - or almost all of those - have always followed the traditional timeline for wedding invitations = see below.

Your wedding is June 28.

So your invitations would have gone out three days ago (April 28 which is 8 weeks in advance), not three WEEKS ago. So some of your guests see the very early mail-out as pretentious, like they are supposed to put your wedding front and center in their lives for months and months and months.

And your RSVP date would be June 2 (3 weeks in advance), not May 20.

So your guests who have gone to many weddings looked at your wedding date of June 28, and automatically did the math, and they figured that they have until June 2 to respond. There is no reason for you to be frustrated with them on MAY 2, since your RSVP deadline should be JUNE 2.

Q&A: Invitations: When to Send Wedding Invitations?

Q.

How far in advance should you send wedding invitations?

A.

Ideally, invitations should go out eight weeks before the wedding -- this gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. Timely invitations also let you make the RSVP date earlier -- about three weeks before the wedding -- so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you'll have one) before the week-before-the-wedding crunch begins.

sdeluna08 · May 2012

Ok thanks. Our reception venue required a head count far in advance...that is the only reason why we sent them out so early. Our wedding is also June 23rd, not the 28th. I was also told by many people to send them out at the 12 week mark, as well as on the knot checklist. I did not do it to be pretentious or make it seem like my wedding is front and center. Also, we have a lot of family that will be flying across the country and we wanted to give them enough time to book their flights/hotels.

m tulli · May 2012

I wouldn't worry about it yet. 18 days is a lot of time for the RSVP cards to come back. Just call those who don't RSVP once that date passes. My advice don't stress over the little stuff.

bonge · May 2012

I sent mine out a couple weeks ago, once i found out people were getting upset over not having them (oot guests) & others who did not know the date made plans then were upset because i didn't send them std's.

I have 100 responses out of 230 but my rsvp date is not until June 1st. They will start trickling in over the next couple weeks. Remember that mail delivery can take longer in some parts of the country.

Now shower rsvps on the other hand.............. lol.

tpender13 · May 2012

We got the majority of ours in the last week. Yes, your timeline is earlier than it maybe should've been, but that ship has sailed. Plan on getting most of the RSVPs back shortly before your deadline, and also plan on calling stragglers after.

FWIW, I get that it's frustrating. We have never had any issues with our mail service. It's always been reliable, aside from the period of time when we were waiting for RSVPs. We wouldn't get any mail at all, even junk mail, for two or three days. Then we'd have an overstuffed mailbox, then nothing for another day, a couple of things the next, nothing again for a couple days, etc... It's not like we live in the boonies; this is a major metro area!

Point being, just try to chill. There's nothing you can do to make people reply sooner, so why stress yourself out over it?

LDubHawksFan · May 2012

I agree to ignore Kristen. 11 wks is ok to send them out. I plan to do the same because we have a lot of OOT guests. If I were a guest and I got an invite less than 2 months before the wedding and had to figure out how to fly across the country in that short of notice, I would be a little upset. I agree that you just need to wait until the deadline....and you put May 20th as your deadline which is on a Sunday, so expect most procrastinators to not stick them in the mail until Monday. I would wait until the 23rd to start calling.

dupp0002 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-know-exactly-where-to-postrsvp-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5da613a2-c288-4b47-a64a-86419d01fe92Post:92580bbd-b7c8-4bc3-968b-48ffcef66a91">Re: Didn't know exactly where to post...rsvp opinion?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree to ignore Kristen. 11 wks is ok to send them out. <strong>I plan to do the same because we have a lot of OOT guests. If I were a guest and I got an invite less than 2 months before the wedding and had to figure out how to fly across the country in that short of notice, I would be a little upset. </strong> I agree that you just need to wait until the deadline....and you put May 20th as your deadline which is on a Sunday, so expect most procrastinators to not stick them in the mail until Monday. I would wait until the 23rd to start calling.
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

Me too.

Didn't know exactly where to post...rsvp opinion?

Re: Didn't know exactly where to post...rsvp opinion?

Q&A: Invitations: When to Send Wedding Invitations?

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