African American Weddings
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Proper +1 Etiquette

I'm finalizing my guest list and I need clarification on who gets a plus one. I've heard conflicting things. The etiquette board on the knot says that you must invite social units. Other wedding boards have a "no ring no bring" policy. Meaning only married and engaged couples must be invited together. What etiquette rule are you ladies following?

Re: Proper +1 Etiquette

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    If they live togather and have been togather more then six months then they get a plus one
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    If they are single(as in not a man/woman married or not) I'm giving them a plus one. I'm not one to decide on who's relationship is serious or has longevity and I would be offended if someone did that to me.
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    i'm giving plus ones to anyone in a relationship despite the amount of time etc. Single ppl no plus ones. 

     

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    Due to space limitations we're only doing plus one's for our immediate family.
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    This is such a touchy subject! My MOH and another close friend have just entered into relationships but when I created my guest list they were single. So now I'm 7 months out am I supposed to include their bf? I don't know these guys and I have to pay for them when I'd rather add 2 coworkers or parent's friends who I didn't initially have room for.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_proper-1-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:fcad7903-e9b2-431a-9821-219c87dfc2aePost:b8cfb223-4719-49a9-906e-463a895c6e7a">Re: Proper +1 Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is such a touchy subject! My MOH and another close friend have just entered into relationships but when I created my guest list they were single. So now I'm 7 months out am I supposed to include their bf? I don't know these guys and I have to pay for them when I'd rather add 2 coworkers or parent's friends who I didn't initially have room for.
    Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>IMO 7 months is a long time for things to change.....my FI proposed after 4 months so as a guest I would be upset if he wasn't invited to the wedding. By the time of your wedding they could very well be super serious. </div><div>
    </div><div> </div>

     

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    I agree with MsAmeera.

    Also your MOH is helping you on your big day, she may even be planning pre-wedding parties for you. She should be allowed to bring her SO.

    Also if I'm inviting a single friend that won't know anyone else at the wedding I"m allowing them to bring a + 1. I went to a wedding alone and I didn't know anyone else except the bride and groom. It was a little uncomfortable.
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    Well some people that I know for sure aren't in a RELATIONSHIP aren't getting a PLUS one.  I have one friend that is on the HUNT for a date and I let her know due to our budget that she won't be able to just bring some random dude off the street.  I didn't mean to come off mean or anything BUT I would rather be able to invite someone that I actually know then to have a random stranger there just so she can say she has a date...
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    Since a lot of our guests were from OOT, if they weren't in a relationship, we still allowed them a +1.

    However, the general rule of thumb is that if your guest have significant others, they should be invited with a +1. Social units should not be broken.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_proper-1-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fcad7903-e9b2-431a-9821-219c87dfc2aePost:3215d8cc-0c98-4e4e-b0f6-73902ff194af">Re: Proper +1 Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they are single(as in not a man/woman married or not) I'm giving them a plus one. I'm not one to decide on who's relationship is serious or has longevity and I would be offended if someone did that to me.
    Posted by Soon2BSand[/QUOTE]

    This!...
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    I'm following the engaged and married, except for the wedding party who has been with someone for awhile. But that is only 3 of my girls and none of his guys.

    Those +1 add up!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_proper-1-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fcad7903-e9b2-431a-9821-219c87dfc2aePost:9cf012c4-aa0d-4a77-b305-6c90ae076ff2">Re: Proper +1 Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm following the engaged and married, except for the wedding party who has been with someone for awhile. But that is only 3 of my girls and none of his guys. <strong>Those +1 add up!</strong>
    Posted by MrsSmith2Be02[/QUOTE]

    That's what I'm saying! I hear you sisters on not breaking a social unit but I'm sorry I will end up with like 5 people (maybe more if everyone decides to get boo'd up before September) I don't know and that could've been my 5 coworkers that are currently chopped from my list and I see them everyday. Now I will go with Mrs. Smith on bridal party members which is only one additional person for me but honestly my other people with bf/gf aren't coming alone anyway so they will know someone. I wouldn't do that to them. I've been with FI for 7 years and due to all types of reasons we've been invited to multiple but only been to 1 wedding together and it didn't stop me/him from attending alone or with other friends/family.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_proper-1-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fcad7903-e9b2-431a-9821-219c87dfc2aePost:8f219717-bf4a-418e-9a98-8cf674d5ac9d">Re: Proper +1 Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Proper +1 Etiquette : That's what I'm saying! I hear you sisters on not breaking a social unit but I'm sorry I will end up with like 5 people (maybe more if everyone decides to get boo'd up before September) I don't know and that could've been my 5 coworkers that are currently chopped from my list and I see them everyday. Now I will go with Mrs. Smith on bridal party members which is only one additional person for me but honestly my other people with bf/gf aren't coming alone anyway so they will know someone. I wouldn't do that to them.<strong> I've been with FI for 7 years and due to all types of reasons we've been invited to multiple but only been to 1 wedding together and it didn't stop me/him from attending alone or with other friends/family.
    </strong>Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

    Same here. FI and I have been together 5 years and I have a lot of LS's that are married (there were 48 of us total). We've been together to 2 weddings - 1 in Chicago and the other in Vegas.  I've been to others, but went solo because my line sisters were there, we roomed together, and had a reunion of sorts. Luckily, that is the case with my friends on the GL. They all know SOMEBODY and I'll strategically set the place settings.
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    mandydc0509mandydc0509 member
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    edited February 2012
    When FI and I put together the guest list/budget, we assumed that everyone was going to bring a +1 since most of our guests are married or have SOs. Some of them might not bring anyone, but we figured it was better to overplan than to be scrambling at the end.  Plus, most of the +1s have become our friends anyway through couple date nights, etc. I def would not do the cut off by length of time together. My FI and I were very serious very early.
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    Everyone gets a plus one; I would feel really guilty if I left someone's s/o out by mistake and I don't want to take any chances.

    Take this example: My FI's cousin is a wondeful woman - very kind, sweet and sincere. She went to Vegas around Christmas with this guy she's known about a month and came back married. We had no idea it was even that serious, but we had to sit down and rethink if we were missing anyone.

    Afterward, it was like, meh, just give them the plus one option - most of them aren't even planning on using it. We plan on them using it, but all of them won't.

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     I'm a no ring , no bring. I made exceptions for 2 ppl that would not know anyone else at the wedding. 
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    I've been to several weddings without my fiancé (we've been together 7 years) and I don't recall ever getting offended about him not being invited. I guess it's hard to not think about who you could have invited instead of giving your distant cousin a plus one. I guess if I know that someone is in a relationship then I'll give them a plus one. If I don't know about the person's bf/gf then odds are we're not that close anyway and if they decline because they didn't get a plus one, I probably won't miss them anyway.
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