Moms and Maids

Too many nieces

So I just got engaged and we are planning at July 2013 wedding. I have 5 nieces ages ranging from 8-2. By the time we get married my nieces will be 10, 10, 8, 6, 4. My question is this...I want to be able to have as many of them involved as I can however I think that 8 is too old for a flower girl and I really don't want to have 3 Jr bridesmaids. The worst part is the older ones that understand what a wedding is, are very excited to be a part of our big day. Does anyone have any ideas about how I can include them all without have 3 Jr and 2 flower girls??? HELP!! I don't want to hurt any of their little feelings.

Re: Too many nieces

  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You could just say (maybe directly to the older ones, to the parents of the younger ones) you love them all too much to choose, so you won't be having any of them in the wedding. I know that sounds harsh, but you don't have to have JBMs or FGs. There is no rule that says you have to have them. 

    If you do decide to have them all, I think that'd be perfectly fine. Don't let the numbers get to you if you are close with your nieces and want to involve them. I've heard of some people only having child attendants and no adult BMs or GMs. Sounds cute IMO. 
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  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ask them what they want to do. I am not engaged yet but the girl I raised for 8 years as a nanny, has told me she wants to be my flower girl and not a bridesmaid. She will be between 16-18 when I get married. She is adamant that she gets to wear a poufy dress and skip down the aisle with a basket of flowers. She may change her mind by the time I actually get married but the point is that the children are capable of deciding if they want to be flower girls or not.
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_many-nieces?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2b6703ee-4599-4aeb-b7d2-2f9d3ed20fa0Post:4ac73819-3a77-4bc0-bd1a-7bb9a5c56b9b">Too many nieces</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I just got engaged and we are planning at July 2013 wedding. I have 5 nieces ages ranging from 8-2. By the time we get married my nieces will be 10, 10, 8, 6, 4. My question is this...I want to be able to have as many of them involved as I can however I think that 8 is too old for a flower girl and I really don't want to have 3 Jr bridesmaids. The worst part is the older ones that understand what a wedding is, are very excited to be a part of our big day. Does anyone have any ideas about how I can include them all without have 3 Jr and 2 flower girls??? HELP!! I don't want to hurt any of their little feelings.
    Posted by vdiffin[/QUOTE]
    I would ask them if they even want to be flower girls. Some might be shy and the older girls might feel too old.

    I know handing out programs is a crap job for adults, but the 8 year old might get a kick out of it.

    Then you'd only have 2 girls for bridesmaids.

    You can also just invite them as guests, but make sure you takea few "special" pictures with them or something so they feel like they've been singled out.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't say a word to them about this for  at LEAST another year.  It is way too soon to be choosing your bridal party and what they would tell you know is not what they may want to do a year to a year and a half from now.

    Please don't ask anyone to be in your BP this far out.  There are too many threads on the knot from brides who truly regret it.
  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I echo kmmssg advice. Wait for at least another year before asking anyone. I know you are probably excited being recently engaged but when it comes to dilemmas such as these it is best to wait it out and then come back to it when the wedding is closer. You may have a better idea then what you may want to do. There are just too many horror stories for Brides picking people early and coming a year or less out of the wedding and regret the decision. If people ask about it both you just say, "we are waiting for at least another year before we decide on the WP". 
  • utegogglesutegoggles member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I have kind of the same issue. I'm having a "flower group" and having each girl take a rose and a card to each grandmother and mother and great grandma.
  • IcyriverIcyriver member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can only tell you what I did with my 7 nieces and hope it helps you...the eldest is old enough to be a bridesmaid...the youngest is the only flower girl (she's 5) my 14 yr old niece is a jr bm. I explained to the girls in between that I love them just as much and even though they can't be a part of the ceremony they get to have a special dance with me during the reception. They loved that idea. I'm not having a father daughter dance so it works out.  

    I also formed an official "Idea Committee" with all the girls. They helped me pick the wedding favors and other little ideas for the wedding. They were pretty good at it.

    I hope this helped a bit.
  • Bett2012Bett2012 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    There are different jobs that they could have: guest book table, programs, readings, or actual bridal party stuff.

    I have four girl cousins, age 10, 7, 5 and 3 by the time of the wedding next year.  I know the 10 and 7 year old very well (live in same town, babysat them for years before I left for university) and don't know the 5 and 3 year old at all - see them maybe twice a year, but even then they don't really interact much. So I am including the 10 and 7 year old as a jr. bm and flower girl, and not doing anything with the 5 and 3 year old.  But that's because I don't know them - doesn't seem like that is the same situation with you.

    Best wishes!
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