Attire & Accessories Forum

Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception

I am the Sister in Law to the Bride to be, no I am not in the WP.  whenever I have attended the church for the ceremony of a wedding, I've always done this in the past but this time around, I dont want other guests to think the Sister in Law of the Bride is too dressed down when they see me at the ceremony. My Church dress is a classy black pencil dress w/ nude pumps and I have a stunning long black gown surplice neck, w/ beaded applique for the reception ----> a bit too much for walking around during the day for when ceremony takes place.

Do most others do this?
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Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception

  • I would ask the bride if you have questions about changing outfits. I personally have never done it, nor seen it happen before at a wedding. I wouldn't want people to think you are trying to upstage the bride.
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  • I would find it VERY odd if someone close to the bride (who I would be more likely to notice) changed clothes between the ceremony and reception.   
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  • Personally no, I've never done that and I don't know anyone else who has either.  I just buy one dress that is appropriate for both the ceremony and the reception. 
    I wouldn't wear a "gown" to anyone's wedding (or reception) unless I was 1. in the wedding party, or 2. it was a very formal black-tie affair.  And in that case I'd just wear the same thing to the ceremony/reception. 
  • I would wear one dress suitable for both.  I also wonder, is the reception black tie?  Otherwise it will look like your trying to upstage the bride overdressing for the reception. 
  • Find one dress that's appropriate for both.  As a guest, I would find it really odd if someone changed between the ceremony and reception, especially into a long gown (I'm assuming it's not black tie, otherwise you wouldn't feel odd wearing it to the ceremony).  Whether it's your intention or not, it definitely would come across as trying to upstage the bride and being an AW.
    Anniversary
  • Okay, well here's an example of what I'm doing for a friend's wedding.

    2pm Church ceremony in August- I will wear a simple summer dress.

    6pm- Cocktail hour/reception starts- I'm changing into a slightly more formal dress, probably black

    Although I'm checking into my hotel during this 4 hours gap so it's not like I don't have time for this. 
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  • It is not my intension to upstage the bride, I would never do such a thing!  both my dresses are black, not white or cream, or even close so I am in no way trying to do such a thing.  I should not have called it an actual gown, my bad, its more of a long cocktail dress. 

    the wedding is not black tie but IS at an upscale catering hall and my HUSBAND IS wearing  TUX b/c he's ushering his mohter down the aisle so I need to look somewhat formal.
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  • Why can't you wear your formal dress to the ceremony, again?  Everyone else will be in their evening clothes.  I don't understand.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_changing-outfits-as-a-guest-to-wedding-one-dress-for-the-church-one-gown-for-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:d92686ab-5393-41dd-929c-8add3155410cPost:306f38d0-2fdf-493f-a932-e68533fcea27">Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay, well here's an example of what I'm doing for a friend's wedding. 2pm Church ceremony in August- I will wear a simple summer dress. 6pm- Cocktail hour/reception starts- I'm changing into a slightly more formal dress, probably black Although I'm checking into my hotel during this 4 hours gap so it's not like I don't have time for this. 
    Posted by smartlypretty[/QUOTE]


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  • I don't have a problem with it at all.  I would be really suprised if anyone noticed. 
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  • I have honestly never heard of this being done before. I would wear one thing that is appropriate for both events.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_changing-outfits-as-a-guest-to-wedding-one-dress-for-the-church-one-gown-for-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:d92686ab-5393-41dd-929c-8add3155410cPost:9c0b774f-92d6-4d3d-a29c-3f44ddc61271">Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why can't you wear your formal dress to the ceremony, again?  Everyone else will be in their evening clothes.  I don't understand.
    Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

    Honestly?  its b/c the surplice neck style of the long dress is pretty revealing in the chest area of my 34 D and I think it might be a little innappropriate for God's House and I dont need anymore reasons for him to not allow me into the pearly gates when my time has come.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_changing-outfits-as-a-guest-to-wedding-one-dress-for-the-church-one-gown-for-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:d92686ab-5393-41dd-929c-8add3155410cPost:c0871456-1c10-49e6-b7f3-58d2eff8e836">Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception : Honestly?  its b/c the surplice neck style of the long dress is<strong> pretty revealing in the chest area</strong> of my 34 D and I think it might be a little innappropriate for God's House and I dont need anymore reasons for him to not allow me into the pearly gates when my time has come.
    Posted by mwiederhold[/QUOTE]

    You could always wear a shawl to cover up during the ceremony.

    I think it's a little strange that you'd want to have a wardrobe change for someone's wedding. And I agree with PP, maybe you should look into a dress that can be worn for both the ceremony and reception.
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  • I second the recommendation for a shawl, shrug, or carigan to cover your chest and shoulders during the ceremony, then lose it for the reception:-)
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  • Seems like a wrap would be easier and less wierd.  I guess, as a guest, if I noticed that you had changed I would think it was strange but honestly I probably wouldn't notice unless you were wearing something inappropriate.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_changing-outfits-as-a-guest-to-wedding-one-dress-for-the-church-one-gown-for-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d92686ab-5393-41dd-929c-8add3155410cPost:b4a67e9d-e80a-4611-b7b0-e86c88f1e38a">Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]I second the recommendation for a shawl, shrug, or carigan to cover your chest and shoulders during the ceremony, then lose it for the reception:-)
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

    I think this sounds like the best option, plus it seems like less of a hassle than trying to change.
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  • I see nothing wrong with it. I have seen it done before, and a good friend of mine often does this because she loves to dress up and jumps at the opportunity to wear two different outfits for an event. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_changing-outfits-as-a-guest-to-wedding-one-dress-for-the-church-one-gown-for-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:d92686ab-5393-41dd-929c-8add3155410cPost:e0a91185-28fd-4580-94dd-80210eae0d5c">Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]I see nothing wrong with it. I have seen it done before, and a good friend of mine often does this because she loves to dress up and jumps at the opportunity to wear two different outfits for an event. :)
    Posted by mellimel19[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, that's me too!  I guess its a New York thing!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_changing-outfits-as-a-guest-to-wedding-one-dress-for-the-church-one-gown-for-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d92686ab-5393-41dd-929c-8add3155410cPost:20e10c2d-fcc1-4f07-9a07-5a0910144ffd">Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing Outfits (as a guest to wedding) -- One Dress for the church, one gown for the Reception : Yeah, that's me too!  I guess its a New York thing!
    Posted by mwiederhold[/QUOTE]
    Or a Tri-State thing. I've seen plenty of people change from the church to reception. Some will wear a pant suit (I'd never) to the church and then a cocktail dress or gown to the reception. This usually seems to happen when the ceremony isn't at the reception venue & when there is a large gap. I did it once when there was a 4 hour gap. Since you're not in the BP, I don't think it's weird. <div>
    </div><div>If you want to simplify your life, then just get something to cover up. If you have plenty of time to burn, then why not.</div>
  • I've never seen this done unless there's a long gap situation.  Then people might go back to the hotel, rest and change. 

    I don't see any problem with doing it if you want to. :)
  • I've also seen plenty of people change between the church and reception.  For formal weddings, especially where there is a long gap in between the church and reception, I will usually change into a night-appropriate dress, or wear something to cover up.  I have seen guests dress super-casual to the church, but I don't think that's appropriate.  It sounds like what you have planned is perfect. 

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  • mwiederholdmwiederhold member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    Yes does seem like a tri-state thing! And yes im guilty of wanting opty to wear two outfits! I appreciate everyones comments and poll participation! Thank you!
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  • Yes does seem like a tri-state thing! And yes im guilty of wanting opty to wear two outfits! I appreciate everyones comments and poll participation!
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  • I changed once for someone else's wedding. I wore a dress to the church ceremony and changed into casual clothes for the reception that they were holding outside in a park pavillion b/c it was windy and a little too cold for my dress.

    I don't think its a big deal if you do or don't change. The shrug might be a good option to cover up cleavage, but if you want to put on something different instead, go for it.
    Anniversary
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  • I do this all the time.  Gaps between ceremony and reception are really common here and honestly, what's appropriate for a daytime summer ceremony in a church looks silly & frumpy at an evening reception.  Go for it.  No one will wonder why you changed.
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  • The only time I've ever seen this is when the reception was casualish and the ceremony was in a church. I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at a church and the reception was picnic style, people played lawn games and stuff, so a lot of people changed into much more casual clothes than they would be comfortable with in the church.
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  • Ditto my Tri-Staters. It's pretty normal around here.
     
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  • Its very common in NJ too. There always is a big time gap between ceremony the reception. I like to wear a daytime outfit dress/pant suit to the church then put on a more dressier dress for the reception.
  • We don't do this around here but I have heard of it done in NY.
  • FI's family who is from St. Louis did this at his cousins wedding. Some people changed, some didn't. It wasn't that big of deal. It seems like something that is normal to people who are used to a 2 hour gap or so.
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