May 2012 Weddings

Invites going out this weekend!!! But this is a vent as well........ :(

My invites are going out this weekend, but it looks like I will be doing them alone. My MOH...if you want to call her that, told me from day one that she would be there for anything I would need her for. Well I have been really kind of doing things on my own and not really needing a whole lot of help. The one thing that I knew I would need help for is the invites. So I had made arrangements with my MOH that when the time came, she could help me with that. She agreed and I thought everything was done and said. I contacted her earlier last week stating that the invites had arrived and that I would be needing her help soon, she said OK anytime, I will be there. So I tell her today that I will be getting them ready for shipping out and she tells me that was taking a "me" weekend since her week has been hectic at work, but maybe next week she would "feel like it"????  OMG Really??? I think I need a new MOH who can actually follow through.

Re: Invites going out this weekend!!! But this is a vent as well........ :(

  • No you don't need a new MOH..sorry to be blunt but you need to remember its your wedding not hers. If shes overwhelmed with work, then thats her choice. You and your FI are in charge of getting wedding stuff done, if others offer and follow through awesome, but they are not obligated to in any way. My MOH is crazy busy, I wouldn't dream of telling her that being tired from her 12 hour shift at the hospital is no excuse for her to have to help me with wedding stuff. Ask your FI to help you, its his wedding..not hers.

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  • That is upsetting that she originally said she would help and then backed out... but could she still help when she gets back from her weekend away? Can your FI help you? I wouldn't get a new MOH just because of this little mishap.
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  • I would get your FI to help you. Honestly, it isn't her wedding, and she has every right to take a weekend for herself.
  • hmmm has she backed out on other stuff? is there any other drama? I mean I had a problem a bit ago with my moh but it was because she got ill ... but thats an entire nother story... but like previous posters have said if its just this one thing... no dont replace her over this.
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  • edited February 2012

    To answer the question above... YES she has backed out of numerous other projects that were planned, so this just adds to the list. No,  I understand that everyone has to have time for themselves, but in all honesty, she really is not busy. I know it's hard to explain becuase you don't know her, but she really is lazy. Don't get me wrong, I love her as a friend, but doing tasks just isn't her thing and I supposed I should have expected this from the start. So shame on me for thinking that she would follow through, when deep down I knew she probably wouldn't. She works in a slow paced office, and there are days that she tells me that she sits on facebook all day at work, because the office is so slow and there is nothing to do.  So to be blunt, I don't give a crap about how "stressed" she says she is, and I firmly beleive that if someone makes a promise, they should keep it. Things happen, I understand, but when you were spotted at the casino partying it up the same day you told someone that you were "stressed" and were not able to help with a project, that proves to me that they are not committed to helping.... So sorry if I am ranting and venting again, but this really pissed me off.
    But yes, As it was previously said, it's MY wedding, not hers... so of course I will do the task by myself , but I'm just saying that it still hurts when you count on someone to keep a commitment and they blow you off. Not a true sign of a friendship to me, so unfortuantely, I am considering giving her the boot because I beleive she is more interested in looking pretty in her dress, drinking up the bar , and not really being there as a friend for me. Hopefully after our heart to heart chat today we will have some sort of understanding. But thank you all for your opinions. I do appreciate it.

  • I'm sorry you're frustrated & that she decided to back out when she promised she'd help you. But, I don't think that's a reason to give her the boot from your wedding. You chose her as your MOH for a reason, & to kick her out could be a friendship-ending move. Yes, it's annoying that she's not going to help you, but it sounds like you kind of knew from the beginning that this is how she is & you probably shouldn't have expected her help in the first place. I'm not in any way saying what she did was right, but I still think kicking her out of your wedding would be a bit harsh.

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  • see how the heart to heart goes today, but sleep on your decision atleast another night. As PP said, kicking her out will probably be a friendship changer...so just don't be rash. Good Luck today!  :)
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