to be clear, I'm not having second thoughts, but I was wondering...

nanderson09 · July 2010

I'm marrying my first boyfriend. I was a workaholic in high school and ran away from any guy who showed interest. Then I met Rich in my first week of college and the rest was history. Not that I am in any way doubting that he is the one, but sometimes it's weird to think that I have absolutely no other relationship experience to learn from. Is this unhealthy? Anyone else in a similar boat?

Lilou902 · July 2010

I think that it is common to wonder about what ifs and to compare your relationship to others. Being that you have nothing to compare it with, I would imagine that would be hard. But I still think it's normal and probably just jitters. If your feelings get worse, I would then pay more attention to them. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

elizabethm4 · July 2010

I married my first boyfriend. He and I dated in high school and lived together for a year after, but I was never really happy because I wanted to know what it was like to date someone else. We broke up for awhile, I dated other people, realized that sucked, we got back together and got married and now we're very happy. It is completely up to you, DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE CONVINCE YOU HOW YOU SHOULD FEEL. However, don't ignore how you're feeling. If you have doubts, maybe you aren't really ready to marry this guy.

emarston1 · July 2010

Have you ever seen those episodes of Say Yes to the Dress where the girl has tried on 100+ dresses but she still isn't any closer to finding the one? I kind of think of it like that. Sure you can test out every possible option, but that doesn't mean that the first dress you tried on isn't "the one." When you know, you know.

FI is my first "real" boyfriend. We started dating our sophomore year of college and have been together ever since. Sure, I have those moments where I wonder what it would be like to be with someone else but you could play that "what if" game forever and you'll drive yourself crazy.

What makes me confident in our relationship (and our decision to get married) is that I don't want to be with anyone else. He makes me happy and I love him. It's really that simple.

psuxray07 · July 2010

It's not weird at all! I'm marrying my first boyfriend. Actually, he was my first EVERYTHING! First kiss, date, etc...you get it lol. (No breaks in between, together the whole time). It seems pretty rare nowadays, but if you know, you know. We've been together a little over 7 years now. We know (and have been told by many others) that we are so good together. I definitely don't think it's unhealthy, you just happened to be lucky!

elizabethm4 · July 2010

PS Although breaking up was what I needed to feel good about committing, I deeply regret hurting my husband and it has caused some trust issues that we've had to work through.

Something to think about! you know what's best for you

nanderson09 · July 2010

Thank you all for sharing your input and experiences! Lilou, I'm 22 and will be 23 when we are married. He is 26. We have been together for 5 years now, and I have never once doubted that we were meant to be. When people ask about how I so suddenly fell in love, I just say that I had a gut feeling that this one was different. And he was:) I am just posting about the first boyfriend thing because it is one of those things that I think about every so often, and I thought that it wouldn't hurt to ask.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

I was in that boat and I thought it was a little weird as well, but there were no doubts along with it. If either of us had seen a possible better match, doubts about the relationship or interest in dating others, we would not have ended up married. It's not for everyone but I also don't think it's a problem.

elizabethm4 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_clear-im-not-having-second-thoughts-but-wondering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3be05991-f5e7-47eb-8587-904a7c41fde7Post:afcfbc5f-45fb-4aa2-9547-01e51887822c">Re: to be clear, I'm not having second thoughts, but I was wondering...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all for sharing your input and experiences! Lilou, I'm 22 and will be 23 when we are married. He is 26. We have been together for 5 years now, and I have never once doubted that we were meant to be. When people ask about how I so suddenly fell in love, I just say that I had a gut feeling that this one was different. And he was:) I am just posting about the first boyfriend thing because it is one of those things that I think about every so often, and I thought that it wouldn't hurt to ask.
Posted by nanderson09[/QUOTE]
Sounds like you shouldn't worry at all!! I'm sure you and your FI will be very happy

[Deleted User] · July 2010

My now H was my first "real" boyfriend. My mom warned me a bit about it at first, but I am so glad I did not let her get in the way of my true thoughts and feelings. H had one other serious relationship before me. Like another poster said, don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. If you and your FI feel everything is right in your heart and mind, you should have nothing to worry about. I think the pre-wedding jitters/nerves are normal, but it definitely doesn't mean you shouldn't marry him. It is just a big day in your life and you want everything to be perfect.

NMK1208 · July 2010

I am marrying my first boyfriend, well my first everything and actually same for him. We started dating in 8th grade and have been insepratable ever since, that was 7 years ago. We never had any *breaks* from eachother. I think everyone is different. No one can tell you about your relationship. I found the one person that I want to be around the rest of my life.

lisarose7 · July 2010

My dad is my mom's first boyfriend...and my dad only dated 1 girl for 3 months before they met. They've been married for 36 years. I dated plenty of people (and was engaged once before) but never had a feeling that anyone was "The One" until I met FI. I'm the only real girlfriend he's ever had, but (according to him) he never had any doubt I was the one and after he met me he had no desire to be with anyone else. Trust your instincts that your FI is The One. If you'd dated around, you might have had some fun, but you'd probably have more regrets than anything else.

SarahPLiz · July 2010

One of my best friends met her first boyfriend in grad school. 4 years later they married, and just celebrated their first anniversary on Sunday.

She said that she learned enough from all of our failed relationships to know the red flags, to know what she wanted and didn't want, and where to look for it. SHe is very much a sit back and observe type of person, and it worked for her. I think its great that she got herself and her life together before she added someone else to it.

There is nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready. Nothing at all.

deepcovejackie · July 2010

Well kind of. I'm marrying a guy I knew in high school. After 25 years apart, we're together. So never say never, I guess!

luckyme502 · July 2010

I am marrying a man I dated in high school, but we broke up and lost touch for a few years.

I always wonder about couples who have been together forever and have never dated anyone else. My parents are like that. When they started dating my mother was 15 and my dad had just turned 18. They were in high school together. They have now been married for 32 years!

Srbageldog · July 2010

My FI is my first boyfriend. He's had a few other relationships which does make me at times feel inferior (or less experienced) than he is. Before I met my FI I had only kissed one other guy. My advice is don't dwell on the fact that you don't have experience with anybody else. I used to dwell on it a lot and it led to a huge mistake (getting sh*tfaced at a friend's bachelorette party and kissing a complete stranger, which led to all kinds of trust issues.) I love my FI and I don't want to be with anybody else. (As a side note, I would have never, ever kissed another guy had I been sober. I can barely remember that part of the evening, but a "friend" took photos on my cell phone which FI later found.) I almost lost the man of my dreams because of stupid feelings of being less experienced than he was. It's not about who you've been with or how many people you've been with. If you have found someone that you love, and he is THE ONE for you, then what difference does it make? You only need one, and you're lucky you found him so quickly, without making mistakes or having things in your past you regret. You should feel lucky that your first will be your last.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

DH was my first real boyfriend. I'd hung out with guys before that, but nothing I ever considered a relationship. He was my first real date, first time sex-wise, first everything. He's 7 years older than me (I was 20 when we met), so obviously he's had more relationships, but I love knowing that I met "the one" right away.

mrchnochrry · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_clear-im-not-having-second-thoughts-but-wondering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3be05991-f5e7-47eb-8587-904a7c41fde7Post:9cd3c1f9-d8ec-49a9-9f4e-d336b25372e6">Re: to be clear, I'm not having second thoughts, but I was wondering...</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you ever seen those episodes of Say Yes to the Dress where the girl has tried on 100+ dresses but she still isn't any closer to finding the one? I kind of think of it like that. Sure you can test out every possible option, but that doesn't mean that the first dress you tried on isn't "the one." When you know, you know.[/QUOTE]

Couldn't have said it better myself. My FI is my second "real" boyfriend. We met my junior year his senior year in high school and have survived the both of us going to away to college (we went to the same school, just not entirely the same time). It's just one of those things... I kinda knew from day one.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2010

I'm marrying my very first boyfriend - we were each other's first kiss, too! We dated off and on throughout high school and then after graduation I dated another guy very seriously for six years, but never felt the same about him as I did about my first.

And my sister married her very first boyfriend too.

It's not entirely insane if you get it right the first time. Just consider yourself lucky! Dating is hell!

Dferrari17 · July 2010

I don't think it's weird at all. My brother had his first girlfriend at 19 years old, just after graduating high school. They have no been married for about 6 years and have 2 beautiful little girls!

My FI's parents met when there were 14 and have been together ever since.

Sometimes a first love is your only love.

arthomas82 · July 2010

I think it's rare and wonderful!

loritajean · July 2010

I've had 2 previous long term relationships. For my FI, however, I'm his first serious girlfriend. It doesn't seem to bother him at all! I actually asked him about it once and he didn't seem to care. He's never shown any doubts about being with me for the past 3 and a half years.

I guess you just know when it's right

Don't let something amazing slip away, because I guarantee you it's so hard to come by.

tldh · July 2010

FI was my first serious boyfriend. We broke up for a few years and in the meantime I dated two other guys. Never got over the original though (and thankfully he never got over me).

clouds_girl07 · July 2010

You are definitely not the only one... and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one too

FI is my first real boyfriend. We started dating when I was 18 and have been together ever since. Like a couple other posters said before, you just know when it's right.

MD2011 · July 2010

I met my FI the day before 1st day of college. We didn't date until 1 year later and grew up into adulthood together. We knew we could not get married in our teens, early 20s or even mid-20s - wasn't even discussed.

Now that we are in our late 20s, we have already done almost everything (non-illegal) 20-somethings can do - that included going out with other people while still together. We have great fun as a couple and we want to make it last. Our priorities have changed, we now want to start a family within the next few years.

So on our 10th year together, we got engaged.

This sort of relationship is not as rare as people assume. But some may have reservations against marrying their "firsts" because of presumptions that the relationship and couple are not yet mature.

However, I do not even recommend marrying at 40 if the relationship is not stable/safe/mature.

wwnbw · July 2010

i married my HS sweetheart. we were together for 5 years and married for almost3....then we got DIVORCED. i'm getting married agian this fall to a man i met in the "real" world. i was young and didn't realize that there was more out there. this is not me being negative as i do beleive it happens and works but is very rare.

louloudi87 · July 2010

I'm marrying my first boyfriend also. He's a lot of my firsts and I'm glad I got it right the first time.

simplebride_24 · July 2010

I do think that it is very rare to find the person you are supposed to be with in the first person that you ever date. I am still with my first official boyfriend. We will have our nine year anniversary two months before our wedding. He was my first everything except for my first date, and I am proud to say that 8 1/2 years later we are still in love and want to be with each other. I can't wait to be his wife.

brit_bell90 · July 2010

I'm also marrying my 1st real boyfriend. We met really randomly when I was 18 and he was 24. I think we knew that we were going to end up getting married from the very beginning. We're so much alike and insanely perfect for each other. Within 2 weeks we knew we loved each other, we moved in together within 5 months, and we were together 8 months before we were engaged. I couldn't imagine ever being with anyone else, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. My MOH has a similar relationship with her bf, and it's so great to know just how lucky we got.

jrpetrik · July 2010

My mum, brother, and I have all married (or are going to marry in my case!) the first people we were in a relationship with. Only Dad had girlfriends before meeting my mum.

For us, our friends knew we were perfect for one another well before we started dating (which we did just over eight months ago). I knew I wanted to marry him before we started dating (about six weeks before), and it took him about a week into our relationship for it to crystallise that yes, he wanted to marry me, too, so basically our whole relationship has been conducted with an eye to its eschaton (inside, seminary student joke).

Maureen679 · July 2010

I too am marrying my first "real" boyfriend. I dated people before him but never for longer then a month, I got bored very easily and never totally felt comfortable with any of them. We started dating a few years after meeting. I was 20 he was 26. He had several serious relationships and sometimes I used to think that I should have had more as well. However it is almost 11 years later and I have experienced so much with him and just know this is where I should be.

to be clear, I'm not having second thoughts, but I was wondering...

Re: to be clear, I'm not having second thoughts, but I was wondering...

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