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Who's around?

bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
I'm bored at work and want to chat!

I'm not sure if we've discussed this on this board (I've seen it discussed on other boards) but how do you all feel about strip clubs?

The other night BF and I were hanging out with friends and one of the guys jokingly ask the women in the room if they minded if the guys went out to a strip club. I said "BF knows he can go to a strip club if he wants I don't care". And I swear if those girls had been wearing pearls they would have clutched them and fainted.

So let's discuss this because I'm bored and need some sort of entertainment!


Re: Who's around?

  • I absolutely do not care if FI goes to a strip club with the guys. I know FBIL had strippers at his b-party...and I know FI has been a time or two with the guys since we've been together. Honestly, what's the harm. If he was going every night or developing some kind of regular relationship with the gals I might start having an issue. Otherwise it's just guys being guys.

    Personally I wouldn't see any appeal in going to a strip club myself (male or female). I have no desire to have strippers involved in my b-party at all. I've never been the "look at that guy's butt" type of girl though.

    Married 6.22.13

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  • I have no issues with FI going to a strip club.  He's been to many before and I've been to quite a few myself (because male aircrew members find it HILARIOUS to bring the one female aircrew member to them while we're on the road).  He's been maybe once in the three years we've been together and that was for a bachelor party for a friend.  I trust him 100% and besides, why would he ever stray?  I fly freaking airplanes.  He thinks that's the hottest thing on the planet!!
  • I personally am not fond of them. I have been to a few, and there is just no appeal. BF has been there in a past, and if he wants to go - he is more than welcome to. He knows if he cheats, I'm gone - plus, I trust him. 

    He has asked that there be no strippers at my B-party whenever it occurs - I asked the same in return. 
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:8f7e75f9-e523-4337-8891-57b0d3b1d6b7">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have no issues with FI going to a strip club.  He's been to many before and I've been to quite a few myself (because male aircrew members find it HILARIOUS to bring the one female aircrew member to them while we're on the road).  He's been maybe once in the three years we've been together and that was for a bachelor party for a friend.  I trust him 100% and <strong>besides, why would he ever stray?  I fly freaking airplanes.  He thinks that's the hottest thing on the planet!!</strong>
    Posted by flygirlmeg[/QUOTE]

    Haha...I love this.

    My views on strip clubs are pretty much the same as your's and Allusive's. I've never really been interested in going but I might try it if a group I was with wanted to go.

    ETA: I might feel differently if it was a stripper being at someone's house for a bachelor party as opposed BF to going to the strip club. BF doesn't really have any interest in it though so I don't know that that situation would ever come up.


  • I wouldn't care if H went out with the guys one night, but I doubt he would because he thinks they're awkward. I actually went with him and some of his friends a while back because I had never been. It was gross and definitely awkward.
    5/27/12
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  • The feminist in me finds strip clubs gross and oppressive.

    That said, H isn't forbidden to go to them or any nonsense like that.  I just require him to be honest about it.

    He's only been to one once, when he was dragged along as part of a group.  He didn't seem to enjoy it much.
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:8b99bf00-2163-4e32-84bb-c6db7e6f9657">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>The feminist in me finds strip clubs gross and oppressive.</strong> That said, H isn't forbidden to go to them or any nonsense like that.  I just require him to be honest about it. He's only been to one once, when he was dragged along as part of a group.  He didn't seem to enjoy it much.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I can understand how you find them gross but out of curiosity how exactly are they oppressive if the women (or men I guess) are choosing to work there? I'm really just interested in your view point I'm not really arguing with it.


  • BF can go I don't care, but he really wouldn't on his own.  He did go as part of a bachelor party in April, he let me know in advance.  He told me later on he sat at the bar way in the back with a few of other guys uninterested.  I said I'd prefer he didn't get a lap dance or anything though, which I really don't think he would.  I give them for free anyways. :-)


    Ughhh it is so hot here, I should be working out but I don't even want to move.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:b55d35d0-5318-4b21-9123-2bcc6b9ab84a">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's around? : I can understand how you find them gross but out of curiosity how exactly are they oppressive if the women (or men I guess) are choosing to work there? I'm really just interested in your view point I'm not really arguing with it.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    I knew I was going to be asked this.  :)

    It's hard to explain, but it's more the very existence of strip clubs (not so much the individual perspectives of the dancers) that I find disturbing.  It's the objectification of women that I don't like.  There's something about the male perspective on strippers that bothers me, too, but again it's hard to explain.  If I can find better words for it, I'll come back and edit.
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:2689e9a9-ef88-46bc-b53e-887412f9c7b8">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's around? : <strong>I knew I was going to be asked this.</strong>  :) It's hard to explain, but it's more the very existence of strip clubs (not so much the individual perspectives of the dancers) that I find disturbing.  It's the objectification of women that I don't like.  There's something about the male perspective on strippers that bothers me, too, but again it's hard to explain.  If I can find better words for it, I'll come back and edit.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I questioned if I should ask it because I figured you knew someone wouldn't get it.

    I sort of see what you're getting at. It's not necessarily oppressive to the individual female but to females in general? I could be just not getting it at all though lol


  • Ahh, the good ol' strip club debate. Personally, I dislike the idea of strip clubs. I can't really put my finger on why though. I did know a few girls who worked at a strip club in college (as servers, not dancers) and they always had stories to tell about the guys that were there. Bachelors getting a little grabby, old pervy men that wouldn't look out of place with a cloth of chloroform in their hands, guys that have "accidents" in their pants, etc. However, one thing that always sticks with me is a quote one of the strippers said, "I don't want your man, I want his money."

    Not saying I wouldn't let FI go if he wanted, I don't really have the authority over him to tell him he can't go. He does know that I would be uncomfortable with having strippers at a bachelor party (his or someone else's) because I think strippers in a club and strippers at a private location are different. Luckily he views both strippers and strip clubs as a waste of money, and has never been and has never had the desire to go.

    This all brings me to the question: What about Lap Dances?

    I think looking with your eyes at a distance is different than bringing it in to personal space, but am curious to hear what other ladies think.

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  • I don't care. FI doesn't like them, but will go and find something to keep himself occupied besides buying lap dances.

    I played Guitar Hero with the bartender last time I went.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:4f4f827d-2be4-4968-82b1-5f9fa9ca30f4">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This all brings me to the question: What about Lap Dances? I think looking with your eyes at a distance is different than bringing it in to personal space, but am curious to hear what other ladies think.
    Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]

    I'm not sure how I feel about lap dances. I would prefer BF not get a lap dance but I don't think I would be mad if it happened. As long as he is honest with me about everything. He isn't really interested in strip clubs though so I really doubt he would ever get a lap dance even if he did got to a strip club.


  • I think they're degrading towards women, but heck, I was just in Vegas and thought a large part of it was degrading.

    I don't care if H goes. He's not terribly interested in them.

    I've been to one once for a friend's b-party, and it was gross (male strippers--I probably would have been more comfortable with the females).
  • Male strippers are yucky.  I'm about to start planning my sister bachelorette party and I was so glad when she said no strippers!

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:9fa2328a-1575-4792-9b36-252998980823">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Male strippers are yucky</strong>.  I'm about to start planning my sister bachelorette party and I was so glad when she said no strippers!
    Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

    They wouldn't be if they were all Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum though...
    <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2198320384/nm0093589" rel="nofollow">http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2198320384/nm0093589</a>
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  • Doesn't really do anything for me.  May be if it was George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, or even Gene Kelly...

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:46ab2130-9e90-4ebe-acbf-eec84a45e96a">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Doesn't really do anything for me.  May be if it was George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, or even Gene Kelly...
    Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

    I'll give you George Clooney, but Ryan Gosling doesn't do it for me. How about we scratch the whole line up and just put RDJ in there?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:c872f0c3-5aa5-452c-af95-18049fc796cc">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's around? : I'll give you George Clooney, but Ryan Gosling doesn't do it for me. How about we scratch the whole line up and just put RDJ in there?
    Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ohmygodyes!</div><div>
    </div><div>Maybe it is partly because I know FI is not at all interested that I would not care if he went.  In all honesty, apart from finding strip clubs to be gross, I don't have an issue with guys going to them from time to time.  I don't think I would have lasted long with a man who was a regular at strip clubs...</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:71c8fae7-f384-4fba-8c36-e010b32e9c3c">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is RDJ?
    Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

    Just Mr. Yummy himself:
    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/2/8693de5c-273a-41b5-b2c9-bd221ff49860.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/2/8693de5c-273a-41b5-b2c9-bd221ff49860.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

    Robert Downey Jr
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  • Hi Beth! A little while ago I jokingly asked bf when the last time he'd been to a strip club was, and he admitted to going about a year ago. A year ago would have been right before I moved up to live with him. He was also on workmans coml at the time, so it really steamed me to hear he'd spent money out of work going there. It kind of caught me off guard, and I have to admit, I was a little upset. It wasn't so much the strip club, as it was the fact that I was JUST finding out about it a year later, and that said visit did involve lap dances. We had a big talk about it and he apologized for not bringing it up sooner, and he made it clear he has no intention of going to one unless its a stereotypical "stag night". That being said, agree with you, it's not a big deal. It's just one of those things guys do. It's not like he thinks there's a real connection with those strippers! Haha! I just want him to be honest about it, and I'd prefer he didn't out money to get some other girls butt sweat on his pants.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:321ddefe-c391-453f-b163-2d008d1aba0c">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi Beth! A little while ago I jokingly asked bf when the last time he'd been to a strip club was, and he admitted to going about a year ago. A year ago would have been right before I moved up to live with him. He was also on workmans coml at the time, so it really steamed me to hear he'd spent money out of work going there. It kind of caught me off guard, and I have to admit, I was a little upset. It wasn't so much the strip club, as it was the fact that I was JUST finding out about it a year later, and that said visit did involve lap dances. We had a big talk about it and he apologized for not bringing it up sooner, and he made it clear he has no intention of going to one unless its a stereotypical "stag night". That being said, agree with you, it's not a big deal. It's just one of those things guys do. It's not like he thinks there's a real connection with those strippers! Haha! I just want him to be honest about it, and<strong> I'd prefer he didn't out money to get some other girls butt sweat on his pants.</strong>
    Posted by PrincessTinyFeet[/QUOTE]

    Haha...that is a valid argument!


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:b6ae4dac-f4c4-46bd-be57-5f69ed84d5ad">Re: Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's around? : Just Mr. Yummy himself: Robert Downey Jr
    Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]<div>Ok I get it!  A little slow.  Not too bad :-)

    </div>

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  • It doesn't bother me. If I don't get upset with his porn watching, I am in no position to complain about a strip club. I've gone to them with my beau. Women's bodies are works of art and as long as their lady business isn't in my face I think it's kind of fun to see their acrobatics on the poles. The good ones have to be AMAZINGLY in shape to do what they do.
    My beau goes from time to time for special occasions (bach parties, get together with all his cousins, seeing his out of state friend etc) but he's very aware of his spending and he finds it to be a waste of money.

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  • CASK85CASK85 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    LTG, seems like you and I have the same taste in men : RDJ makes me swoon.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_whos-around-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5eb3bc6f-1dda-4c88-907d-d02f804cf650Post:543bc9a6-eb6e-43e9-af5e-f5c8e8cde819">Re:Who's around?</a>:
    [QUOTE]LTG, seems like you and I have the same taste in men : <strong>RDJ makes me swoon</strong>.
    Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

    Me too. He's so yummy. Lol.
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  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    Meh, I've told BF a number of times that he could go to a strip club if his friends were going for a bachelor party or whatever. He's never been, but I'm sure he'll have the opportunity at some point. Since he doesn't get to see most of his friends too often, I'd just be happy he's getting to have some guybonding time! But no way I would ever go with this THAT would make me uncomfortable! My BFF is totally different. Her bf just got back from a 3day bachelor party extravaganza and she does not even want to know any details. She said if she knew they went to a strip club for a fact, she wouldn't be able to stop imagining what went on and it would really upset her, so she'd rather not know.
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