How can I plan anything???

xfergyx · September 2010

My finace is joining the Army soon. We are planning on getting married September 2011 but I don't see how I can plan anything right now when everything is uncertain. How will I even know he will be here for our wedding? Don't you usually have to reserve a reception hall a year in advance? I don't see how I could reserve one that far ahead with him in the military. Has anyone else been in this situation?

ksrawr · September 2010

I will tell you this my bf went into the army. Then after training got deployed almost immediatly. He propose while on deployment. I planned our wedding if four months. We had to wait to get the coming hom date then i called around to places around the area where we wanted out wedding to see if they had any dates available. A few did. You can do it on short notice just be prepared to save up because you will have ot put a lot down we had to put deposit down then two months later 2/3 of the estimated bill. Then 5 days before we had to pay in full. We did get a little bit back from some number changing though. But in all honesty he won't have taht much time after training for a wedding. My H didn't get any time off between training and going to his post. He was able to take a week a couple weeks after he had been at his post though. Or you can elope and do a vow renewal later.

digirain · September 2010

I was worried about this too, but we're just planning it anyway and hoping for the best! It's either that or wait until he knows for sure, but things can always change at the last minute. Just be flexible and don't get stressed out if you have to change your plans! We're having ours on a Sunday in the hopes that that will be the easiest day to take leave, as long as he's not deployed (fingers crossed).

If you think he might get deployed right after training, though, you might want to wait until he finishes training (if he's planning to join soon) and have a little bit better guess. You can still plan your dress, centerpieces, etc so you don't feel rushed, but leave the date and place until you know a little more. I have military friends that had everything planned except the location, which they decided on only about a month before!

Good luck to you, and don't worry, it will work out - it just might be different than you expect!

iluvmytxrgr · September 2010

I would wait. Planning now could end badly. Plan the for a certain time of year. When he gets to his duty station, he can talk to his chain of command about the training cycle to see when good dates would be for him to take leave for the wedding. You don't have to book locations a year out. You may have to search around a bit, but you should be able to find something. You also may have to be a little more creative than you had thought, but you can do it. We planned our wedding in two weeks. It was at my mom's house, but it was perfect for us. I've had friends plan beautiful church weddings with 150 guests and a large reception in less than 3 months. It can be done. You get used to doing things on short notice after a while.

xfergyx · September 2010

Thanks, I really had no idea how he could ask for time off. I just know the military doesn't really care if you're getting married because if they need you then you have to go!

Beachy730 · September 2010

As long as you are flexible, you can plan a wedding within a few months. We had to wait to find out where we were PCSing to, then set out date, which left us with about 5 monts until our wedding. I had the entire thing planned within 3 at most. If you have a ceremony and reception site you really like (if they are seperate places) ask for a list of available dates once you know when your FI will be home. Compare the 2 and pick.

sjhunt · September 2010

my FI is at his duty post right now in oklahoma while im in san diego. we just plan everything as usual except we plan it over the phone and over video chat and the internet. it is a little more difficult but it can be done

good luck to you and him. Let us know how it all turns out

NidDAlouette · October 2010

One thing that I've been doing that you might want to do is to get deployment clauses in all of your vendor contracts. That way, if (heaven forbid) he should unexpectedly deploy before your wedding, you will be able to apply the deposits you've paid to a later date.

Aside from that, I completely agree with pp's that you should wait until he gets to his duty station before you start planning, as there is generally really no way of telling whether he'll be able to take leave after training. Once he arrives to his station, he can talk with his direct superior to work out a date that he can pretty much count on.

calindi · October 2010

Get military clauses in every vendor contract possible. Not just deployment - any change of orders that would prevent the wedding from occuring on that date. There are several things that could disrupt a military wedding, including change of station, training schedule, being denied leave, deployment, etc. You're absolutely right to be hesitant, and I think the girls gave you good advice on being flexible with dates, venues, even days of the week (there's often more Friday night availabilities than Saturday at most venues, and it's often cheaper).

aemahm · October 2010

A week into our relationship my boyfriend told me that he will most certainly be deployed im Aghanistan so when he proposed of course the tought of him not being there for our wedding crossed my mind. We decided to legally get married before his deployment and have the church ceremony and reception after he comes back. We booked the hall and church already, next are the photographers and videographers (We want to book the most important thing before he leaves). For the rest (flowers , invitations, etc.) we decided that I would send him pictures of what I want and we'll agree from there

How can I plan anything???

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