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Registry and Gift Forum
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Guest from across the country

DanianneDanianne member
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
HI All,

I'm new to the board and The Knott. My wedding is April 29, 2011. I live with my fiance in Arizona where he and his immediate family is from. He has aunts and uncles and the like in various states. We are getting married back in NJ where my family is from. My mom said that my side of the family will probably just give money and do not need a registery.

I need some advice though. For one, my MIL said to make a registery, so how do I get the word out to the guests that are all over the country for where my registery is (since I know its not proper to include it in the invite) and  seondly do I just not tell my mom that I'm registered at places so my side can just give money?

Please dont get annoyied with me (I've seen other brides wanting to be rude about thier registery or need of money, but I am not) I'm just unsure what is the right and proper thing to do. Of course we do need money, who doesnt? Its very expensive! But we dont want to not register and say "hey give me money".  For my side of the family it just seems like its understood that money is the common gift. But I'm not sure what to do about my FI side or how to get the word out about a registry. I'm all confused! And I bet I confused yall as well /><

Thanks so much!
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Re: Guest from across the country

  • acmj11acmj11
    First Comment
    Register and if people ask, tell them.  Let it spread through word of mouth.  If people want to give a monetary gift they will.
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    This really isn't an issue.  Register if you want to, and don't make a point of telling anybody.  If they want to know they will ask, and then you or your parents or whoever can tell them where you are registered (or they can look it up themselves, it's generally easy to find).  If they want to give you money, they won't ask, so they won't hear about it.  Thus, no problems.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Guests can ask your parents or whomever they know related to the wedding where you are registered.

    Failing that, people tend to register obvious places: BB&B, William Sonoma, Target, etc...  Finding a registry online these days is easy-peasy.

    Remember that many many family members have been to weddings and know the drill.  They'll know how to find your registry and they know it's up to them to give a boxed gift, cash, or merely their presence. 

    Relax, register it up, and worry about other things :)

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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    If money is the common gift on your side of the family, they'll give you money even if you do register.

    Just register and let your FMIL know where you registered.  If anyone asks you or her where you registered, you can tell them.  If you have a wedding website, you can also put it there.
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  • clarereedyclarereedy
    First Comment
    Definitely register - if you have a shower, people will look for a registry to buy you something.  Your bridesmaids, mom, FMIL or whoever hosts your shower can include registry information in those invitations. 

    As for the wedding, your relatives in Jersey will probably give you cash/check as your gift whether you register or not. I'm from New York and getting married in Jersey and have never been to a wedding where I would have given a gift instead of an envelope - so I wouldn't worry about them finding out about your registry.  :)
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  • SparrowSongSparrowSong member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    If they care, they'll ask. A registry is merely a suggestion list, no one is obligated to shop from it. If you register at a nationwide store like BBB or Crate and Barrel, people will find it easily enough by themselves. Or they'll just write you a check.

    Basically don't stress yourself out over this because it really doesn't require that much control on your part. Just let people gift what they want, be it money or something from the registry or something they thought of themselves. All you have to do is say thank you to any and every gift you receive.
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  • ehathewaehathewa
    First Comment
    To answer your other question about how to let people know about the registry, you can put that information on your wedding website. 
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