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August 2012 Weddings
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Disappointing Bridal Shower

nessavllnessavll
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in August 2012 Weddings
Today was my bridal shower and I had been looking forward to it for a long time. This was my one and only opportunity to ever have a bridal shower. My bridesmaids did a wonderful job with the decorations and the food. I enjoyed the party and really appreciated the gifts. However, I was highly disappointed with the turnout. Of the 60+ people invited, only 15 people (not counting my 3 bridesmaids) showed up. Last night we had severe thunderstorms that left a lot of the surrounding area without power. Needless to say, it put a huge damper on my shower. On top of all this, my FMIL and FSIL decided a few days ago before the storm ever happened that they weren't going to attend because the only person they would know would be my mom. This really hurt my feelings, especially since I helped plan and host my FSIL's baby shower last summer.
Maybe I'm wrong to be so upset about all of this, but the day meant so much to me and it wasn't at all what I'd hoped for. Sorry for the rant ladies, I just needed to vent. :(
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Re: Disappointing Bridal Shower

  • mtbentleymtbentley
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    My FMIL and FSIl didn't show at my shower either. I'm not happy about it but I'm not surprised. FMIL didn't even RSVP and FSIL did RSVP yes but didn't show. Quite a few of my family members have been questioning why no one from FI's family was at the shower. His family just doesn't consider anyone but themselves. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't show up at the wedding.
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  • lb1212lb1212
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    I'm sorry your FILs were a no show at your shower. Is there a reason why they aren't hosting a shower for their side of the family?
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  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2012
    I'm sorry that so many people weren't able to make it. I had a branch of cousins that didn't show up to my shower or even bother to RSVP, so I know it is a crappy feeling. Just focus on the people that were there to support you, and don't take it personally. People have lots of valid reasons for not attending events, so don't let it get you down.
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  • nessavllnessavll
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_disappointing-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:3f0a2b52-767b-4e44-a2c0-7f606d1d6baaPost:f0cf5bea-1fa5-485e-bbc9-86882a0ab38b">Re:Disappointing Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry your FILs were a no show at your shower. Is there a reason why they aren't hosting a shower for their side of the family?
    Posted by lb1212[/QUOTE]

    FI's side of the family is really weird about family functions. They don't even plan holidays together so I don't think they understand the importance of it all. I did invite several of his female family members but none of them came.  
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  • Bluegummiebears101108Bluegummiebears101108
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    My shower is on the 8th and only 1 person besides my sister ( moh ) and parents have RSVPd and they are the ones throwing the shower. So ya 1 RSVP. My FMIL sent a text friday and was like well I don't know if I am coming  I havn't even opened the invite yet!!!!!!! She still hasn't responded to the wedding and she lives across the street! REally this is your son's wedding shouldn't you care just a little bit? 

    Sorry I went off on my own little rant.

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  • AjoydAjoyd member
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    Sorry the turnout was so disappointing. I can relate, my best friend from high school said she was coming and then didn't show. Granted we aren't that close anymore but we've both been making an effort to restore a friendship. Later that day she posted pics on facebook of herself hanging out with friends and drinking. That felt like a slap in the face, I mean if you didn't want to come, just don't RSVP!

    There is just no excuse for the FILs not showing. Oh, poor thing, you won't know anyone. You're an adult and it's NOT ABOUT YOU so SUCK IT UP!

    Okay rant over, sorry I just can't stand selfish people. Hang in there and just enjoy celebrating these events with the people who do show up for you!
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  • rojacobsrojacobs
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    I'm learning so much about wedding planning, pre-wedding activities, who traditionally does what.  My FILs have a tiny family, just FMIL, FFIL, FBIL and my FI.  I try to include FMIL in as much as I can as she doesn't have any daughters, and she is wonderful.  She is coming to my hometown with me for my bridal shower, but never mentioned anything about hosting a bridal shower for her side of the "family" (they have a lot of very close family friends that are considered family).  I never even thought or exected her to host a shower, is it a traditional event to have each side of the family host a bridal shower?  FI close family friends are all invited to the wedding and I won't meet them until the big day.

    I'm so sorry you're disappointed, I hate that feeling.  I'm trying hard to not have any expectations to avoid disappointment, but that's pretty much impossible!
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  • haleyrae7haleyrae7
    First Comment
    Awe, I'm sorry your bridal shower turn out wasn't great.  I had my bridal shower on Saturday and only 3 of my FI's family members showed (an aunt, a cousin, and a cousin's wife).  My FSI lives a mile away from me and couldn't make it.  I was very disappointed before my shower, but after the shower and having a blast I realized it was their loss. I'm being positive about the whole deal, I don't want to be bummed out before the big day!!
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  • katehar01katehar01 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_disappointing-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:3f0a2b52-767b-4e44-a2c0-7f606d1d6baaPost:1d132263-5953-49b3-a59a-e963e4bcdfaf">Re: Disappointing Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm learning so much about wedding planning, pre-wedding activities, who traditionally does what.  My FILs have a tiny family, just FMIL, FFIL, FBIL and my FI.  I try to include FMIL in as much as I can as she doesn't have any daughters, and she is wonderful.  She is coming to my hometown with me for my bridal shower, but never mentioned anything about hosting a bridal shower for her side of the "family" (they have a lot of very close family friends that are considered family).  I never even thought or exected her to host a shower, is it a traditional event to have each side of the family host a bridal shower? 

    This may depend on area, but it's not really the norm around here.  I wouldn't have wanted that, anyway - I literally only know FI's sister and Mom, the rest of the family is OOT.  So I think it just depends on family dynamics, I wouldn't be offended if they didn't offer:)
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  • Lena2317Lena2317 member
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    edited July 2012
    keep it all in prespective.. My own mother didnt make it to my shower (sick) and my FMIL did.. but you know what it was cool.. I had a great time, I didnt have to pay for anything, and it was a party for me!!    In the end..  as long as you had fun.. it doesnt matter how many people came..  Its the fact that those people who came wanted to be there for you and made it happen.

    I'd rather have quality friends and fam around then a mass quantity of people who dont really care or want to be there

    Also is 15 about the number that usually come to a bridal shower??.. I had 15 as well and two of my Maids had 11 and 9 at their showers this last year
    So Maybe 15 is a great number after all!!!!Cool   Cheer up sunshine... WE ARE GETTING MARRIED NEXT MONTH!!!!!!
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  • budconnerbudconner
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    I have 19 cousins on my mother's side of the family.  I went to almost all of their bridal showers, and they were so big and fun and it seems like these last couple of years they've gotten smaller and not so many family members attending.  I still went to all of them and brought gifts and everything.  It hurt my feelings that only one  ONE cousin from my mother's side of the family attended the shower and only two of her 5 sisters.

    I feel silly that I'm disappointed, it was a fun day for the most part, but my MOH put so much work in to it, she was so excited (maybe more excited than I was) and I think her feelings may have been hurt as well.  I don't mean to be a tit for tat kind of person, it just kind of bugs me that I attended all of their things and that they didn't attend mine, and as the RSVPs are coming in it seems that many won't be coming to my wedding either.  I know that because I am the youngest of all my cousins, they now have more obligations,(like family) but at the same time, I had lots of obligations and managed to make it to their weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers and celebrate with them.  It's making me feel sad.
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