Hello everyone! I need help!!!
I am planning a wedding with my nonreligious fiance but he is from a relaxed Hindu family from Southern India. I am white, born and raised in California without any ties to religion at all. My dad is paying for most of the wedding, with my fiance and I covering the rest (my dad gave me a really small budget). His parents MIGHT cover some if we need it, but they just put his brother through med school so they are kind of tight right now.
Here is my problem:
My fiance's mom (dad doesn't say much, but they are married still) wants a traditional Hindu wedding from start to finish.
My dad thinks that would be "cool" and good for me to "embrace his culture".
I want to do the traditional Hindu stuff in the days before like they do and then the symbolic Hindu things on the ceremony day in the morning. Then I want to do the traditional American ceremony in the afternoon where my dad walks me down the aisle and we say I Do. The Hindu ceremony is done in Sanskrit, which is a dead language no one except the priest can understand. He will give a translation for us, but we will be sitting there while he says the vows that we "agree" to without actually knowing what he is saying. That isn't a problem for me, but I just don't think it is romantic.
My fiance is getting so irritated by his mom and me "clashing" silently about this whole thing (we are still in the preliminary phases of the planning) he wants to go to city hall and say I Do and be over with it. After all "All I want is you, not the ceremony" is what he says every time this topic comes up. I know fiances are usually like that, but still it would help to have his input. The only "input" he will give me is "I dont want to upset anyone, and remember I am the first born" even though his little brother is about to start planning a wedding with his girlfriend and it will take place in India (nothing non-traditional about that!).
What should I do? Should I go with my plan and tell everyone that it is the closest to getting the best of both worlds? Or should I be done with it and cave in to my MIL and dad's wishes?
Plan B: Do the Hindu wedding only using fake rings and no paperwork and then do a private "elopement" on our honeymoon alone the way we want it. FYI mine and my fiance's idea of a perfect wedding (we ironically both wanted this when the topic of wedding first came up a long time ago) is me, him, my mom and dad, his mom and dad, my sister and brother in law and niece, his brother and sister in law if she exists, and one close friend of each of ours somewhere on a beach in May with a small private restaurant reception (if you can call it a reception) with those people that were at the wedding.