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Well...

Tiffany618Tiffany618
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in Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

My grandmother passed away last night.   She lives in California and has been deteriorating for some time.   I know that she is no longer in pain and in a better place now.  I hadn't seen her in a few years, and when I learned how bad she was getting I didn't go.  It was a terrible and selfish thing to do, and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

The reason I'm writing this is because it seems like many of you talk of problems you have with your families, and sometimes even talk of cutting ties with them.

Please, whatever it is, get past it.  Go hug your Mom, Dad, Grandparents, siblings, friends, and anyone else that means something to you every chance you get.

That's all I've got.

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Re: Well...

  • cfibelkorncfibelkorn member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am really sorry to hear that Tiffany...Your family is in my thoughts!
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  • angieandjamesangieandjames member
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    edited December 2011
    I am sorry for your loss.  *hugs*  I can understand your decision not to go... sometimes it's easier to hold onto your memories of the good times when you don't make any memories of the bad time that could cloud them, if that makes any sense.  Try not to regret that, and just remember the good times with your grandmother.  And you're so right about getting past things... we all need to hear that from time to time.
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  • lesalyriclesalyric member
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    edited December 2011
    Tiffany - I am sorry for your loss.
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  • knottie2733fe6844e988e4knottie2733fe6844e988e4 member
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    edited December 2011
    Tiffany, you and your family are in my prayers...
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  • llc2011llc2011
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry Tiffany!  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
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    edited December 2011
    *hugs Tiffany*

    Thank you for posting this and I hope that you can find comfort.  I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • SoonToBeMrsHozSoonToBeMrsHoz member
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    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry for your loss Tiffany. Losing a loved one is the hardest thing to deal with I know!...

    And in regards to :
    Please, whatever it is, get past it.  Go hug your Mom, Dad, Grandparents, siblines, friends, and anyone else tha means something to you every chance you get.

    Thats exactly what I was trying to say in my post the other day...

    You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers...
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  • mandaroo7mandaroo7
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    edited December 2011

    Oh my I'm sorry for your loss.  I will def go home and get some hugs! Hugs to you too.

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  • Tiffany618Tiffany618
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Ladies, I appreciate your support.
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  • TexanTreasure08TexanTreasure08 member
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    edited December 2011
    Very good point Tiffany! I'm hope you & your family are doing ok.
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  • msealemseale member
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    edited December 2011
    Tiffany, so sorry to hear about your grandmother.  But you are absolutely right.  Don't take for granted the loved ones you have around.
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  • jennifersimsjones1989jennifersimsjones1989
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    edited December 2011

    Im so sorry for your loss. I somewhat understand how you feel. My mother passed away in June and she was very sick to. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  • courtski2004courtski2004 member
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    edited December 2011
    Tiffany, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother! I will pray to give your family strength in the coming weeks.
    In regards to not taking the time to visit before her passing, I have similar feelings but for a different reason. For both of my grandmothers, I had the chance to say my goodbyes--knowing that would be the last time I would see, talk to, and hug them. For me, leaving them was by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I felt incredibly guilty, and selfish for going back to my 'real world' and not staying with them until the end. For my Grandpa, I had the chance to go see him, but I chose not to. I wanted to remember him as a vibrant, free-spirited, funny man who was truly my hero, and not as someone who I didn't recognize anymore. Looking back, at the time I was torn and felt that it was a selfish decision, but I am satisfied with my decision that I didn't go.
    I hope that you are able to find peace, and that you aren't hard on yourself because of the choice you made.
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  • juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
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    edited December 2011
    Tiffany,
    I totally agree.  I'll be thinking about you over the next couple of days.
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  • MLandCJMLandCJ member
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    edited December 2011
    :( My thoughts are prayers are with you and your family during this time.
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  • FebDallasBrideFebDallasBride
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh, Tiffany, I'm so sorry to hear this! You are in my thoughts.
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  • dianaslikdianaslik member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So sorry for your loss.

    My grandmother (out of state) has been ill as of late, too - thus the family is starting to think it's time to prepare for the same.

    I totally understand your decision to not visit, as I have made the same one in regards to my grandparents (this has been recommended/endorsed by my parents).  In some ways, it is hard on them to see you when they know they aren't the same/are ill/weak.  I feel guilty for my decision at times, but then remember all the fun we used to have and how hard it would be to see them struggling (for both of us).  I just have to acknowledge that they aren't the same, that the inevitable will happen, and when it does, that they lived long lives and will be in a better place.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Definitely a reminder to tell your family that you love them!
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  • Tiffany618Tiffany618
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Diana & Courtski-

    Thanks for sharing your experiences.  Mine was similar, and my parents encouraged me not to go for the same reasons.  It is really hard now, looking back, but after a rough day of reflection yesterday I feel that I probably did the right thing. 


    Thanks to all of you for your T&P.
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