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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehearsal, or rehearsal dinner?

Hey ladies,
My fiance will be in an upcoming wedding, and of course we are invited to the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal will be at the hotel, and then guests will travel to a nearby restaurant for dinner. It is not an out of town wedding. I'm wondering if I should attend the actual rehearsal, or if I should just meet them afterwards for the dinner? Some of the other girlfriends said they may just be meeting later. 

What do you suggest? Go to both, or just the dinner?

Thanks!

Re: Rehearsal, or rehearsal dinner?

  • I would probably do what the other girlfriends are doing.  I personally don't want spectators at our rehearsal, so that might be why I would do this in the opposite shoes, but it seems like if the other girlfriends are doing it, then you should too.
  • If you're not participating in the ceremony, I'd say just meet them at the dinner afterward, if it's not too big a hassle for you and your FI to take seperate cars.
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  • if its easy enough to meet them at the restaurant, id do that.  but if you spectate at the rehearsal, there's nothing wrong with that either, it just might be boring.
  • Yeah, I would just go to the dinner.  I was in a wedding this last summer and FI just dropped me off at the rehearsal and I got a ride with one of the other BMs to the dinner, FI met us at the park where the dinner was held.  I pretty sure he took a nap.
  • I'd say so what the other girls are doing.  I like the idea of dropping the WP member off and then they hitch a ride to the dinner to meet you...saves on using two cars. 
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  • Are you invited to the rehearsal, or the rehearsal dinner? You said the latter, in which case I would definitely just go to the dinner - you're not invited to the rehearsal itself.

    If you are invited to both, I'd still probably just go to dinner since there's nothing for you to do while other people are practicing the ceremony.
  • I can't think of any reason why you'd want to attend the rehearsal.
  • To be honest, I have no idea if I'm invited or not. It was an evite, and it was sent to my fiance, who of course, deleted it and cant remember what is says. Typical. 

    Anyway, thanks for your help ladies! I think I'm going to meet him at the dinner!


  • Just meet them at the restaurant. I was nervous enough during our rehearsal and it was late getting started that I know I wouldn't have wanted a bunch of people sitting around either.
  • You can log on to evite and see all your evites - I think he would have had to make an account to respond, although I'm not sure. Anyway, I realize that's not the point, just a tip for the future :)
  • I agree with everyone and would just go to the dinner.

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  • I would probably just go to the dinner especially if the other girlfriends are doing that.  When i was in my cousins wedding FI came to both but so did my parents, it was kind of a family thing plus FI ending up watching my cousins toddler so it worked out well but if you dont have a situation like that then there is no reason for you to be there.
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  • Going to the rehearsal would probably just be a bore.  I'd stick with meeting them at the restaurant.
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  • It is up to you and what is convenient.  There is no reason to drive separately.. but it should work out to drop him off and meet up with him later.

    Most of the SOs just sat in the back of the church for our rehearsal.  It didn't bother me one way or another if they were there or not.
  • I have been in this situation three times now. The one time I went to the church was when it was out of town. But both other times when it was in town, I met up at the restaurant afterwards. Honestly, the rehearsal is very boring if you are not in the wedding and it's not necessary for you to just sit there. I'd go after.


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  • I would look at the evite yourself (you can pull it up on the evite website). You may not be invited to the rehearsal or dinner. My FI has been in a ton of weddings and they are all different. I've been to weddings with him where I went to the rehearsal and dinner, just the dinner or neither. Actually most of them I didn't attend the rehearsal or the dinner because I wasn't invited. I usually just went to dinner with the SOs of everyone else in the WP and then we all met up for drinks after the rehearsal dinner.
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