reception seating: assigned or open?

tinkerbek · January 2012

Hey ya'll. ok here's my first question on here. I live in Nola but i'm from up north in PA originally. Back home it was always a formal dinner at a reception, with waitstaff bringing you food course by course. I'm gathering that the station or buffet style dinner is much more popular down here, so that's what we're doing. But when you do that, do you still do assigned seating? And do you need to make sure that there's exactly as many seats as there are people?
Thanks!

louisianablue · January 2012

I'm having a buffet style reception and am only planning to have chairs for about half my guests. Both my venue and my planner assured me that this is the norm for New Orleans style receptions. Since weddings in New Orleans are much shorter, three hours vs five or six hours up north, this encourages people to mingle and move around the wedding. I think we'll actually end up having seating for about 200 out of 300 guests.

MarcusandMelissa · January 2012

We are in the same boat as LouisianaBlue (seating for about 2/3 of the guests) and it'll be high-top cocktail tables. From what our venue planner says this is the norm. I think the theory is that when you're having food stations and passed hors d'oeuvres people want to have a place to set their drink and clutch while they eat with both hands, but that most people like to stand.

sbelle85 · January 2012

We are also doing the cocktail/stations reception with cocktail tables for about half the guests.

BUT, if you're doing a sit-down dinner where people will need to be seated for a significant portion of the reception, I think you should assign seats.

It's not as big of a deal with a cocktail/hors d'oeuvres reception, but for a meal, it can become awkward when people are left to fend for a table on their own. Couples or parties/families may be split up because there aren't seats available together at the same table. Uninvited guests (an unexpected plus one for example) might take spaces intended for guests, and leave you with a friend or relative not having a place to sit (or sitting alone). I also wouldn't want to deal with the annoyance and possible hurt feelings of people "saving seats" and creating a middle school cafeteria atmosphere ("You can't sit there!"). I think it could be difficult for people who don't know anyone other than the couple to try to navigate the tables and find a place to sit.

So, my advice is not to worry about it if it's a cocktail reception, but if it's a sit down dinner, I would absolutely assign seats.

Queen Jane · January 2012

I would do what ever you think your guests will be comfortable with. Yes, the norm in Nola is that you don't need seats for all your guests, but that's not true in many other places. If your guests are not used to that style, it could be awkward for them and in that case I would assign tables.

NO2012 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_reception-seating-assigned-open?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:84Discussion:8552435b-483e-4132-bbdb-06fa2d8066bdPost:0164c95c-2759-4732-9d85-b4fffb1c89d4">Re: reception seating: assigned or open?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would do what ever you think your guests will be comfortable with. Yes, the norm in Nola is that you don't need seats for all your guests, but that's not true in many other places. If your guests are not used to that style, it could be awkward for them and in that case I would assign tables.
Posted by Queen Jane[/QUOTE]

This. I have come to realize it is the norm in NOLA, but ALL of my guests are coming in from OOT and will be highly perplexed if there is not a seat for everyone (and I'm sure they will be surmising that we miscounted our guest list or couldn't afford enough tables for everyone or something, haha). Also, I agree with pp about going ahead with assigned tables at least to avoid confusion or high school cafeteria scenarios. As a guest, I always prefer to be directed to my seat to avoid that awkwardness.

MMLM2012 · January 2012

were doing the Nola style reception with not enough seats- but since most of our guests are OOT, we're putting a small blurb in the info card with the invitations as well as on the website to give people a heads-up that's it a Southern tradition...hopefully that will clear it up a little for people!

tinkerbek · January 2012

thanks so much everyone for the input! I think at the very least I will make sure our families, who will all be from out of town, will have assigned seating. the other half of the guests will be our local friends, and I gather they wont care as much. I may still look into getting an extra table or 2 tho.

louisianablue · January 2012

I think your guests may get offended if you only assign seating for half your guests and leave the rest of the people to fend for themselves. I would do it one way or the other. We are reserving two large tables for our family to sit down.

NO2012 · January 2012

I went to a wedding here in Texas this past year where it was this "reception style" (although at the time I had no idea it had such a name or what they were thinking and neither did anyone else I was with), but they did have all tables in the main area around the dance floor reserved for family and there were only a handful of tall tables for everyone else to stand at. We definitely felt like second class citizens. It really left a bad taste in our mouths.

sammyjames · January 2012

Open seating.

AlmostMrsStrong · January 2012

To every single person who posted that they are having less seating than the number of actual guests: Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not do this to your guests. I have no idea what inspired this crazy trend, but it is incredibly rude to not have a place for each of your guests to sit. This is NOT the norm down here, or at least it wasn't until venues and planners started telling this to OOT brides. People want a place to mark as 'theirs' and leave their jackets/purses/hats/what have you, and be guaranteed a place to sit and rest their feet for a minute. If people want to mingle, they will mingle. If they want to dance, they'll dance. Do not force them to do either of these things by not providing them with a place to sit.

/end rant

As for your question, OP: every wedding I've attended has been buffet and open seating, and there has been at least 1 chair per person, but usually a bit of buffer. Your guests are (likely mostly) adults and are capable of finding a place to sit. Granted. I'm lucky in that my venue is set up to seat 400 guests, regardless of how many are invited, because all of the chairs from the outdoor ceremony are lined up and/or placed at tables so guests can choose to sit inside or outside. We will have a few indoor tables marked 'Reserved' for family and wedding party plus their dates, but that's it.

sbelle85 · January 2012

I don't think it's rude to have cocktail tables instead of dinner tables if you're having a cocktail reception instead of a dinner reception, especially if you indicate this to your guests in advance. If you're serving a sit down meal and not everyone is going to have a definite seat, that's one thing, but if you're having a 3 hour cocktail reception instead of a 5 hour seated dinner reception, it's not expected that you would have dinner tables and 150+ chairs set up just in the off chance that every single person wanted to be sitting down at the same time.

[Deleted User] · January 2012

I worked it out with my venue to ensure that every guest has a seat to sit in if they would like. Some on the seats with be outside on a balcony, however there will be the same # of seats as guests. I am from here, but i am not comfortable with 2/3 seating so i worked it out with the vendor. I'm still having a buffet style reception and am not doing assigned seats.

tinkerbek · January 2012

thank you so much for all the opinions!! I think I will wait to see how many people rsvp, and how much family rsvp's. But I do think I will make sure there's a seat for every guest. I agree I want everyone to be able to sit!

NOLAbridealmost · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_reception-seating-assigned-open?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:8552435b-483e-4132-bbdb-06fa2d8066bdPost:4d6af2a5-16d4-437b-a9a4-60b162beb689">Re: reception seating: assigned or open?</a>:
[QUOTE]To every single person who posted that they are having less seating than the number of actual guests: Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not do this to your guests. I have no idea what inspired this crazy trend, but it is incredibly rude to not have a place for each of your guests to sit. This is NOT the norm down here, or at least it wasn't until venues and planners started telling this to OOT brides. People want a place to mark as 'theirs' and leave their jackets/purses/hats/what have you, and be guaranteed a place to sit and rest their feet for a minute. If people want to mingle, they will mingle. If they want to dance, they'll dance. Do not force them to do either of these things by not providing them with a place to sit. /end rant As for your question, OP: every wedding I've attended has been buffet and open seating, and there has been at least 1 chair per person, but usually a bit of buffer. Your guests are (likely mostly) adults and are capable of finding a place to sit. Granted. I'm lucky in that my venue is set up to seat 400 guests, regardless of how many are invited, because all of the chairs from the outdoor ceremony are lined up and/or placed at tables so guests can choose to sit inside or outside. We will have a few indoor tables marked 'Reserved' for family and wedding party plus their dates, but that's it.
Posted by AlmostMrsStrong[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>THIS. </div><div>
</div><div>Never been to a wedding here with assigned seating. And I've also never been to a wedding here without enough seats for everyone.</div><div>
</div>

MarcusandMelissa · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_reception-seating-assigned-open?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:84Discussion:8552435b-483e-4132-bbdb-06fa2d8066bdPost:b5cbf9c3-ab86-4003-9506-fc1b4f971bd5">Re: reception seating: assigned or open?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it's rude to have cocktail tables instead of dinner tables if you're having a cocktail reception instead of a dinner reception, especially if you indicate this to your guests in advance. If you're serving a sit down meal and not everyone is going to have a definite seat, that's one thing, but if you're having a 3 hour cocktail reception instead of a 5 hour seated dinner reception, it's not expected that you would have dinner tables and 150+ chairs set up just in the off chance that every single person wanted to be sitting down at the same time.
Posted by sbelle85[/QUOTE]

What she said.

AlmostMrsStrong · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_reception-seating-assigned-open?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:8552435b-483e-4132-bbdb-06fa2d8066bdPost:b5cbf9c3-ab86-4003-9506-fc1b4f971bd5">Re: reception seating: assigned or open?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it's rude to have cocktail tables instead of dinner tables if you're having a cocktail reception instead of a dinner reception, especially if you indicate this to your guests in advance. If you're serving a sit down meal and not everyone is going to have a definite seat, that's one thing, but if you're having a 3 hour cocktail reception instead of a 5 hour seated dinner reception, it's not expected that you would have dinner tables and 150+ chairs set up just in the off chance that every single person wanted to be sitting down at the same time.
Posted by sbelle85[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not about whether or not people will all be sitting down at the same time. Do you want to be eating or talking to people at your table, get up for a minute for whatever reason, and find someone in your spot becasue they didn't have another seat? Do you want to keep relocating every time you want to dit somewhere? Chances are, everyone IS going to want to sit down and eat as soon as the buffet is open. </div>

Sarahgetmarried · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_reception-seating-assigned-open?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:8552435b-483e-4132-bbdb-06fa2d8066bdPost:622287bc-9e4f-4c9d-b0b6-6944bbb7dd28">Re: reception seating: assigned or open?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think your guests may get offended if you only assign seating for half your guests and leave the rest of the people to fend for themselves. I would do it one way or the other. We are reserving two large tables for our family to sit down.
Posted by louisianablue[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree, we're also only reserving tables for immediate family and of course the wedding party.

</div>

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