And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs

allychase · January 2013

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_diy_my-first-diy-will-you-be-mybridesmaid-box

ETA: Fixed link

AddieCake · January 2013

Oh, no! I thought her box was beautiful, but I had no idea THAT was inside it. Yikes.

LDubHawksFan · January 2013

I really don't understand the extravagant ways that brides feel like they need to ask your BMs. I literally just called my girls. The box was pretty, but I would think it was way overkill if I received it, even before reading all of the requirements for me.....even though she tried to make it seem like the only requirements were smiling and partying. I've always just been asked. The wedding I'm a BM in May for was the most formal. My friend got each of us initial necklaces to ask us. Cute, but it wasn't overboard.

unchatenfrance · January 2013

Agree - I would be turned off by the overkill, even without the "roles" bit inside. I wish I had that amount of spare time and energy!

allychase · January 2013

The box was very pretty but the bit about telling them not to make her shower a surprise because the planning should be fun for her as well? Good lord. And how the color of the dress was not up for debate, like assuming they would challenge the color. It'd be one thing if it said your role: have fun! But she said that... And then went into a laundry list of like six paragraphs of dress requirements and other things I'm sure they had months to think about but apparently needed to be addressed before they even agreed to be BMs. Ugh.

allychase · January 2013

In Response to Re:And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs:[QUOTE]It's MUD, and very bad MUD.nbsp; Check her join date, and other posts.She's selling wedding stuff that supposedly belonged to her bridesmaids.nbsp; Hm....how can she sell bridesmaids' shawls when she just asked them?She's a vendor who needs to be banned. Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Ooh I'm on my phone so can't see her other posts. Relieved no ones actually presenting their friend with all that info before they even agree to being a BM

Viczaesar · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_and-this-is-what-you-dont-say-to-your-potential-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:81da08b0-ef83-475c-a63c-e7e722c956d0Post:823c5d9b-d60d-4967-9496-da188c8cc272">Re: And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs</a>:
[QUOTE]She tried to get huffy on the post I put up for the board's moderator, saying "just so you know, I got engaged last May!" Her join date is 4-22-2008.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Well my join date was a couple of years ago and I'm not even dating someone right now. I don't see what exactly that is supposed to prove.

allychase · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_and-this-is-what-you-dont-say-to-your-potential-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:81da08b0-ef83-475c-a63c-e7e722c956d0Post:823c5d9b-d60d-4967-9496-da188c8cc272">Re: And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs</a>:
[QUOTE]She tried to get huffy on the post I put up for the board's moderator, saying "just so you know, I got engaged last May!" Her join date is 4-22-2008.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>ehhh yeah I think I joined in like 2011 to buy some necklace from the wedding shop and never actually found the boards until I got engaged. I'm not totally convinced she is MUD. I feel like she would've tried to sell more being here for like 5 years.. Although her wording on that post about the shawls is totally vendor-ish. Idk...

</div>

lyndausvi · January 2013

Just receiving the box is what would bother e. I mean if she is spending that much time and effort on asking me to be in the wedding, lord knows what DYI plans she has for me in the future. A chill and relaxed bride does not even do boxes like that, the fact she says just have fun and all makes me feel like she is talking out of both sides of her mouth.

Viczaesar · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_and-this-is-what-you-dont-say-to-your-potential-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:81da08b0-ef83-475c-a63c-e7e722c956d0Post:3ed31e53-f658-4641-99ba-77252972efb5">Re: And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs</a>:
[QUOTE]Ladies..... Last year was 2012, not 2008. She only has ten posts, all of them recent. What happened to the others? 2008-2013? REMOVED FOR AD SPAM, is my guess.....
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

She also says she joined when she was MOH in someone else's wedding, but really, nobody has to justify their join date or posting history to you. Maybe she is or maybe she isn't, but your "evidence" is circumstantial at best.

emenz47 · January 2013

That box is overkill

Viczaesar · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_and-this-is-what-you-dont-say-to-your-potential-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:81da08b0-ef83-475c-a63c-e7e722c956d0Post:0862051d-adba-4a60-8004-7581980f9a14">Re: And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs</a>:
[QUOTE]We've had a large number of "addies" making "bridey" posts in an attempt to persuade The Knot that they aren't vendors. It's up to that board's mod to decide. The other boards have vanished moderators, so I put the notice up on Attire. She can decide for herself. I can't ban anyone unless they're on my boards. All bans are reviewed by The Knot gods in any case. They decide whether to make them permanent.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
Yes, I've noticed that too. I don't happen to think that this person is one of them, but even if she is the join date being in 2008 means nothing.

NOLAbridealmost · January 2013

My join date was before I got engaged because I got bored one day and was reading the forum posts and one of them got me so riled up that I created an account to respond. I got engaged several months later and didn't start posting regularly until a long time after that.

Heck, that's why my username is NOLAbridealmost....because I was definitely not engaged it was just wishful thinking at that point.

No idea whether that crazy BM-Box-Bride is a vendor or not, but I just don't think join dates mean all that much when it comes to whether someone is a vendor or not.

And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs

Re: And this is what you DON'T say to your potential BMs

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