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I don't know what to do...

Re: I don't know what to do...

  • dewingedpixiedewingedpixie member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Talk to him about your concerns. Tell him this relationship works and that you want to get married. Put the ball in his court. However do not push him that is not the way to start a marriage.
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Yeah, don't give him an ultimatum.  Even if you end up getting what you want out of it, you'll always feel like your engagement was tainted by it.  For the record, though, you'll feel that way if you do anything to force him to get married before he's ready. 

    Have you asked him why he's not ready yet?  I would start there.  He may have some good reasons.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    How come all I can see in the OP is "What should I do?"


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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_i-dont-know-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:39f74ca4-2dc1-4ae4-856a-e8a7a0ccdee6Post:a16bc182-bb42-43c9-9ede-a9e53b916fba">Re: I don't know what to do...</a>:
    [QUOTE]How come all I can see in the OP is "What should I do?"
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    It's been edited, I think.  The original post was about the OP wanting to get married before losing a family member (her grandparents are aging and her mother has cancer or something) but her BF doesn't seem ready and he's dragging his feet on proposing, but he said he would get married if she gave him an ultimatum.

    That's what I remember.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Got it. I hate when people delete the OP. Your responses weren't even mean!


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  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't know what to do about there being another "Bri" on the board.



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  • dewingedpixiedewingedpixie member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_i-dont-know-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:39f74ca4-2dc1-4ae4-856a-e8a7a0ccdee6Post:582c71b9-9aff-4c75-b0d0-5995a555aa04">Re: I don't know what to do...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Got it. I hate when people delete the OP. Your responses weren't even mean!
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    Agreed I think our responses were logical. I can understand her being worried with two aging grandparents, and a mother with stage 4 cancer. She wants them there for her day because they matter to her like her SO. She seems to have a good stable relationship too. I think talking to her SO without ultimatums will probably actually work well for her since I believe she said they'd been together 3 years and were about to buy a house. He does seem committed to her, he just may not realise what she wants or how important it is. I think its easy for a man to view a house together as a commitment of sorts.
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