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Atheist + Catholic

geographteageographtea
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in Interfaith Weddings
The ceremony is probably the scariest aspect of wedding planning to me, because I am an atheist and my fiance is a practicing catholic. I was raised catholic, and I am ok with the idea of him raising our future children as catholic, as long as they get to make their own decision about religion at some point. But how do we have a ceremony, when it is important to him to be married in the eyes of the Catholic church, but I don't want to feel like a hypocrite by "accepting god" and the like (which I seem to remeber happening in Catholic ceremonies I've seen before) during the ceremony. Is it possible to find a priest who is willing to marry us without me having to feel like a hypocrite? I want us to both be able to be ourselves during the ceremony and as we prepare for it. Any suggestions, tips, experience stories, etc would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Atheist + Catholic

  • JBee85JBee85 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    This could be a hard one. For a priest to agree to marry you, you would have to go through Pre-Cana meetings and he has to deem you both worthy to be wedded. If you are atheist and don't want be vowing to "accept God," then no... you should NOT have a Catholic wedding. A priest will not agree to marry you.

    I recommend a civil wedding. However, there is one problem if you go through a civil wedding: the church doesn't take it lightly. I recently heard that some Catholic churches will not allow your husband to accept sacraments (communion) because he chose not marry under the church. It is a big deal for Catholics to marry within the Catholic church.
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  • Knottie_22386671Knottie_22386671
    As a practicing Catholic planning a wedding with a Jewish man, I know for a fact that in order to be married in the Church only ONE person has to be Catholic.
    The other person needs to respect the practicing Catholic's choice to be a Catholic and raise the children Catholic (if there will be children). That is it.
    The Pre-Cana is about your COMPATIBILITY AS A COUPLE. The Church does this to bring up important topics between the couple such as thoughts on money, children, religious differences, and communication.
    It has NOTHING to do with "Are you both Catholic enough to get married?"
    The Church doesn't want 1. People getting divorced for avoidable reasons or 2. using a Catholic church as backdrop for a wedding and then not care about the faith afterword.
    Pre-Cana is a way to help with both of these.
    People need to turn to God because of their OWN choices. We don't think it's respectful, sincere, or in any way useful to "convert" someone before a wedding. Please don't let misconceptions get in the way of the wedding, especially if you are already going through Pre-Cana. I hope this helps and good luck Smile
     
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