CN: My otherwise wonderfully attentive, responsible, and egalitarian FI can't do a single WR thing without being asked a dozen times. It's really making me mad now. WWYD?
I think this is the first time I've written here for FI advice, probably because I really don't have much to complain about, and I tend to be a somewhat private person about this stuff, but I'm honestly stumped. I fear this may become long. Sorry.
I know I've mentioned before about the long hours that FI works (usually 8 to 8, sometimes he gets out by 6:30, sometimes he has to stay until 10 or 11). My schedule is easier since I'm a grad student and now I'm done with my program. In the beginning of wedding planning (two years ago), we decided that we wanted to work evenly on wedding stuff. It became clear after a few months that I'd be the one doing the majority, mostly because he didn't care about picking out centerpieces and I also had more time/desire to do stuff.
About a year ago, it became clear that I was doing absolutely everything. It really bothered me, but we talked about it, and it just seemed like it was the way it was going to have to be. FI spends all day on spreadsheets, designing stuff, and calling vendors, which is exactly what the wedding work would be. I can see why he wouldn't want to come home and do more of the same. I've also enjoyed doing it up until recently, so it seemed reasonable enough. He does more than half of the housework, so it was sort of an exchange.
One thing stands out as a big issue, though. If I ask him to do one WR thing that I really can't do (like call his parents about something, do something GM-related), I have to ask him 5 to 10 times until it actually happens. Nothing else in our relationship (housework, other responsibiliteis) is like this, and it baffles both of us. Every time I bring up how frustrated it makes me, he apologizes, promises to do stuff without being hounded, and seems really upset that he messed up. We've now literally had this same conversation once a month for the past six months, and I'm at a loss. Nothing has changed.
Do you guys have any ideas, suggestions, or experiences? It's really upsetting both of us, and I'm out of ideas. Thanks for reading my novel.
ETA: Also, if you think I'm being unrealistic, I'd really like to know. I'm sure I have an equal hand in this.