Wedding Etiquette Forum

Look here...

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Re: Look here...

  • I don't ask and H doesn't tell, but I'm sure he looks at something when he's on the rig for 3 or 4 weeks at a stretch.  He keeps asking for sexy pictures of me.  I did b-pics for him as a wedding present but for some reason he doesn't want to look at THOSE.. and I can't seem to get good ones of myself LOL.
  • Bay, you're going to think I'm a jerk.

    That's my disclaimer. And I love you.

    But.

    HOW IN THE WORLD can your husband feel embarrassed and guilty about random meaningless porn, but he doesn't have those emotions about the REAL LIFE emotional affair he's had?

    This is the part where you hate me, but I realllllly, realllllly, don't get it?
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  • Bay - I'm so glad your H is working on things with you and I wish you both all the best with counseling.  You're so amazing and I know he'll remember that :)

    I did catch H once a couple of years ago with my big bottle of lotion in the living room and I think he was pretty embarassed about that, haha.

    Chrman - yeah I think he's probably normally better about it, but just forgot this time.

    Fishy - that's my reaction, I can't handle more games.  I can't even keep up with WWF, I forfeit all of my games from non-playing.
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  • Kelly I just started a game!
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  • Sneaks in and waves.
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  • Thanks Jill :)
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  • Scramble with Friends is even better than WWF. Like a million times better. H and I have been obsessively playing each other since last week.
  • ok ihave a wine handicap though :)
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  • Hey Ciara!

    AND OMG.

    SCRAMBLE. REALLY?
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  • I got played out on WWF.  Thank god Bird has been playing me in SWF.   I love it.
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  • DO IT, FISH.  YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
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  • What is Scramble with friends?  

    I also got played out on WWF.  I'm a huge fan of hanging with friends though.  I usually play random people though because I don't know anyone who plays.
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  • Fish, I don't think you're a jerk.  Does it hurt to see and have acknowledged?  Yes.  Is it my own fault for putting it up here?  Absolutely.

    I can't make excuses for my H.  I stopped trying when he started screwing up.  I don't understand why he did what he did, I don't think I ever will.  I can't make him understand what he was so wrong.  I do believe that, over time, he's starting to realize just how badly he screwed up and how difficult it has been (and will continue to be) to repair it.

    I know that a lot of people think he's a scumbag and a jerk and I'm better off without him.  And maybe those things are right, I don't know.  What I do know is that I'm not ready to give up yet.  Maybe in the end it won't be worth it.  But at least I will know that if it doesn't work out, it's not because I didn't try my hardest.
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  • I tried to get Scramble with friends but it's not available for my phone.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_look-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9d3c35f-5df1-48f0-95ac-fea6fe342f68Post:8c51119a-c206-485d-b712-2dc61bdf0a28">Re: Look here...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bay, you're going to think I'm a jerk. That's my disclaimer. And I love you. But. HOW IN THE WORLD can your husband feel embarrassed and guilty about random meaningless porn, but he doesn't have those emotions about the REAL LIFE emotional affair he's had? This is the part where you hate me, but I realllllly, realllllly, don't get it?
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    Nods head. Please don't hate me either, but these seem like reverse reactions to me. He should feel bad about the emotional affair, not the looking at porn.

    I've never caught Lucas looking at porn, but I know he does, he has a Playboy subscription. His box o'porn has moved with us for years. It's in a Natural Balance dog food box.
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  • Scramble is like... boggle?  I think that's the name of that game.
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  • oh i actually did good!
    see!  wine makes you smarter.
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  • (Also, relative or not, the porn thing happened when we'd been dating like six months,  which was about three and a half years ago, long before these other issues occurred.)
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  • <----Doesn't play any "with friends" games
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  • beachers, you can invite me to any game and i'll play.  i'm a game whore.
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  • crfischecrfische member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2012
    To be honest, bay, I don't think you're better off without him, necessarily. You chose to marry him. He chose to marry you. There's something there.

    I do think that it's 100% unacceptable times one billion that he continues to have contact with that girl. That is not ok. YOU deserve better than that. And? You have a right to say, NO. YOU CANT TALK TO HER. That doesn't make you crazy or unreasonable.

    That makes you a woman who loves her husband who wants your relationship to work.

    He should have NO contact with her. If he can't give that up? Well, then. There's something more there that he isn't telling you.
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  • Ciara. Im happy to see you. <3
  • I like scramble better than words - I think I'm bored with Words
  • Hmm I wonder if SWF is on my phone. 

    Bay - you gotta do what you feel is right for you and what makes you happy.  It doesn't matter what other people think about him.  Like most people on here we generally only here when your H has you upset, or has pissed you off.  We don't always brag about the great things they've done, so it's much easier to form a negative opinion about someone.  I'm not saying that I think your H doesn't deserve the attitudes toward him based on the situation, but just that people also understand there is always more to the story and situation than what we know.  Don't worry about anyone else, just do what's right for you.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_look-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9d3c35f-5df1-48f0-95ac-fea6fe342f68Post:9d439e61-cb1f-4cc5-b7d4-7aa60851eb58">Re: Look here...</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's in a Natural Balance dog food box.
    Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hahahaha that made me giggle :)</div><div>
    </div><div>Bay - I don't necessarily think you're at the point of being better off without him.  To me, marriage is for life and, barring abuse, I would probably fight like hell for a good long time before I gave up on my marriage so I get it.  Speaking only for myself, I just know how awesome you are and you deserve better TREATMENT than he is giving you right now, but it seems like he's maybe starting to recognize that and more importantly YOU recognize that and are now demanding it.  Which can only lead to good things, even if it's you realizing you want to find someone who will treat you better if he won't once you've fought all you care to fight.</div><div>
    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_look-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9d3c35f-5df1-48f0-95ac-fea6fe342f68Post:9d439e61-cb1f-4cc5-b7d4-7aa60851eb58">Re: Look here...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Look here... : Nods head. Please don't hate me either, but these seem like reverse reactions to me. He should feel bad about the emotional affair, not the looking at porn. I've never caught Lucas looking at porn, but I know he does, he has a Playboy subscription. <strong>His box o'porn has moved with us for years. It's in a Natural Balance dog food box.
    </strong>Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

    Haha, too funny. I actually found FI's stash last fall. Our house was broken into and they had just dumped everything out of drawers. The most recent one was from 08 before we started dating.
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  • Hi Ciara!  

    Kelly text me your name for the games if you don't want to put it on here.  I'm going to look for Scramble now.
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  • Hi guys. It's been a long couple weeks. More work drama, some not so good news at Edmund's appointment, FIL had minor surgery and is stressing out H.
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