Pre-wedding Parties

Multi-Shower Problem (LONG)

I am a BM in my best friend's wedding, our other good friend is BM, her cousin is the MOH and her future SIL is a BM (only because her mother insisted).  The wedding is being held in MA where myself and the other BM lives, but my friend grew up in ME.  The MOH now lives in NC.   Now that the logistics are set up here comes my question. 
   Myself, my friend and the MOH have discussed having one shower/bachelorette weekend in MA.  However the bride decided she didn't want to have them both in one weekend.  The MOH then said she wanted a shower in ME.  We were talking about having two showers in both location, but then the MOH said fine let's just do it in MA.  Well the bride came home from Christmas in ME and told us that her aunt was planning on throwing her a shower in ME in April and the MOH was only attending that.  Should my friend and I try to talk to the MOH of about this or just go about planning a second shower down in MA on our own? 
  Being recent brides ourselves, my friend and I want to make things as drama-free as possible, but also give the bride what she wants (which was one shower in MA).
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Re: Multi-Shower Problem (LONG)

  • MsBunny312MsBunny312 member
    edited December 2011
    Talk to the bride first and then the MOH. I'm sure you guys can still go ahead with the second shower in MA as long as it doesn't stress out the bride. You probably have friends in MA that would not be able to make it up to ME. Just make sure you don't invite the same people to both showers.

    When you talk to the MOH, emphasize that you don't want to step on her toes at all, but thought that the bride would really appreciate having two. Hopefully if you remain polite and rational, everyone else will too.
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
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    edited December 2011
    Well it sounds like the ME shower is covered and you can move on.  Her aunt is throwing it and MOH will attend it.  So now all you need to do is ask the bride if she would still like to have a shower in MA for the people who won't be attending the ME one.  If she says yes, then go for it.  If she says no she only wants the shower in ME, then that's fine too.
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  • edited December 2011
    I am having multiple showers thrown for me in different states, here is what happened that made everyone happy.

    I'm from PA, currently living in GA and my BM's are from five different states.  I knew that my FI's sister wanted to host a shower and my family could not travel to GA twice, and my family wanted to have one in PA and the GA family couldn't travel.

    I just told them that we could coordinate so anyone that wanted a chance to participate would have the opportunity.  Turns out we are having one in PA this month, and one in GA a little closer to the wedding.  The bridesmaids could pick whichever one they wanted to attend and could help plan accordingly.

    I recommend talking to bride and seeing if she is open to something like that, making it easier on people so they don't have to worry about traveling as much!
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