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rotc cadre - invite some or all?

forrma7forrma7 member
First Comment
in Military Brides
hey there! my FI and I are currently in rotc and we're trying to plan who to invite.
there are obviously cadre that we feel a strong relationship with, then there are some cadre that we don't really interact with, or they are brand new.

if we invite some of them, would it be rude not to invite everyone? and we're not talking like 5 people here, it's about 15 cadre members and their wives. not to mention it's like a schoolyard and they all gossip so everyone would find out who got invited and who didn't.

is there protocol for this? i don't want to offend anyone, but we have to control our guest list!
 thanks so much ladies!
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Re: rotc cadre - invite some or all?

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know about a protocol.  H was on shore duty working as a recruiter when we got married, and we chose to invite the whole office because it was the same type of situation.  If its as close as you said I would probably do an all or nothing thing.  Would your FI be comfortable only inviting a few of them and then facing the ones he didn't? 
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  • michelle227michelle227 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I understand your delimma.  My fiance was in ROTC back in college and we attended weddings for other cadets who had this issue.  Keep in mind that if you do choose to invite everyone, it doesn't necessarily mean all will attend...and then you won't offend anyone.
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  • Luke&Sam625Luke&Sam625
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think this would be like inviting people you work with. You either invite everyone. or no one. Good Luck!!
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  • Victoria2013Victoria2013 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly you are now in the military no matter what you do or where you go there will be gossip and rumors.  If you are not close with those people I would  say don't invite them.  Your wedding is to celebrate your special day with your friends and family, not everyone you work with.  Plus why invite those you rarely interact with when weddings get expensive.  But its going to come down to how you are going to feel working with these individuals after the wedding and they find out that they didn't get invited.  Personally I wouldn't invite them, but thats just me.
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  • forrma7forrma7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks everyone for the responses! kind of varied, but this is what we ended up doing:
    if we invited everyone, it would have been about 15 cadre, plus their spouses - many of them we had little to no relationship with
    so we ended up inviting our PMS,  the 2 cadre that were our instructors, the MAJ i work closely with this year, and the secretary that has been there for all 4 years
    so it ended up being the highest ranking people, and the closest people to us. we felt like it was really justified in the end, and we're happy with our decision!
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  • Victoria2013Victoria2013 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Looks like you made a decision you and your FI are happy with !  Good luck in the rest of your planning and congratulations!! 
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