Catholic Weddings
halydia
member
Catholic + Protestant in Spain
halydia
member
Hello everyone!
My fiancé is Spanish and Catholic. I'm from the States and Protestant. It is very important to him that, in Spain, we be married in the Catholic church. As I have only been to mass with him, I am wildly unfamiliar with the Catholic church and am not quite sure what to expect. We haven't spoken to the priest yet, but will be doing so as soon as I get back to Spain. I guess the first major question is: will he marry us? The second question, and it's one I have for you all is: will my father, who isn't Catholic either, be permitted to stand as my "padrino" (would the English translation be Godfather? Either way, it's the adults who stand with the bride and groom, in Spain it's the mother of the groom and father of the bride. Sorry I'm unsure of the proper English translation). Some in Spain have had doubts about whether or not he'd be permitted to do so.
My fiancé is Spanish and Catholic. I'm from the States and Protestant. It is very important to him that, in Spain, we be married in the Catholic church. As I have only been to mass with him, I am wildly unfamiliar with the Catholic church and am not quite sure what to expect. We haven't spoken to the priest yet, but will be doing so as soon as I get back to Spain. I guess the first major question is: will he marry us? The second question, and it's one I have for you all is: will my father, who isn't Catholic either, be permitted to stand as my "padrino" (would the English translation be Godfather? Either way, it's the adults who stand with the bride and groom, in Spain it's the mother of the groom and father of the bride. Sorry I'm unsure of the proper English translation). Some in Spain have had doubts about whether or not he'd be permitted to do so.
Perhaps the biggest fear is just how to do this. Due to family travel limitations, we have to do something in both countries. I'm seeing here that priests (and, rightly so) aren't keen on doing weddings for someone who is "already married." Spain will be our second wedding - and, to my fiancé and his family, it's where matters the most. Should I just do a reception in the US to save the ceremony for Spain? That, however, hurts those in my family who cannot afford the time or money to travel to Spain.
Well, thanks to anyone who can offer up any bits of wisdom. I'm so terribly lost between two countries, two traditions, and ultimately two religions. Please keep me from going to Vegas!
Take care and best of luck in planning. I saw someone here whose signature indicates she's getting married in two days. Enjoy!!!
Take care and best of luck in planning. I saw someone here whose signature indicates she's getting married in two days. Enjoy!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Catholic + Protestant in Spain
You will probably need to wait until you get to Spain and talk to the specific priest to get your questions answered. I am unfamiliar with the way the church operates in Spain, but FI is Mexican, and so I have a decent amount of familiarity with the way it works there, and it is very different. Among other things, in Mexico, every church wedding is performed after the couple is already married because the law requires doesn't permit a priest to perform the legal/civil marriage. I understand this to be common throughout Latin America, and therefore could be a carry over from colonialism, and therefore the same in Spain. We also have friends who are getting married in the U.S. in September (not in the church) and then having a Catholic wedding in Uruguay in December. I don't know if it was hard to get the priest to agree, but he did.
As I said, the church rules here probably are not the same as the church rules there (the marriage stuff above is just the tip of the iceberg) so you really need to talk to the Spanish priest. But if you want an idea sooner, maybe you could talk to FI's family and friends. They should have some ideas of how it works.
My life up north.
Same issue in Mexico where I live. Only two Catholics can get married in the church. My mother-in-law literally did not believe me when I told her that the church was more open to inter-denominational weddings in the States.
I think the reason why they're so strict about this is because they simply don't face the issue: about 99% of Mexicans and Spaniards are Catholic. Not like in the States where the many Christian faiths are widely represented... The various faiths have been forced to face the issue because there are so many different kinds of Christians in the States.
The good news is that there are Catholic churchs in the States who will marry you, so you can have a Catholic wedding (without you receiving communion) here. But if you want a Catholic ceremony in Spain, you'll have to convert. Sorry
My life up north.
And I understand about your grandmother-in-law... Mine probably wonders the same thing
And please update me on what you find out. You can always send me a PM
My life up north.
I do remember at one time that someone made a comment about having to cover your shoulders in the Catholic church in Spain - so if strapless, covered by a jacket. Can anyone confirm or tell me I'm crazy? I asked my FI and he commented that I can wear whatever I want. I'm nearly certain this is a man-answer (Clothes? Important? Just calm down, silly bride lady!) and my FMIL is off on vacation so I can't get in contact with her easily... I figured I'd pick your brains
My life up north.
[QUOTE] Also, in order to be married in a Catholic church both parties must be Catholic. It's relatively unheard of even in the U.S. for them to allow an interfaith marriage inside the church. Posted by Jillibeans11681[/QUOTE]
I think your cousin's situation was pretty extreme. Catholics may marry someone of another faith,in fact it happens all the time in the U.S. Usually, the couple does not have communion as part of the ceremony. You are not required to have your spouse convert in order to have a Catholic ceremony, as long as the non-Catholic spouse agrees to allowing their children to be raised Catholic.
As for appropriate attire, I think you'll need to find out an exact answer from the priest performing your ceremony. Since this varies greatly, it's not safe to bet that what the majority have experienced is what you will. I would get an answer from your priest before buying your dress. You may be able to just add a bolero for the ceremony if you find a dress that is not modest enough on its own. Good luck!
My life up north.